ties Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Do The NFL's Anti-Domestic Violence Initiatives Actually Even Exist?
As long ago as it now seems, it was only this past July when Roger Goodell decided to suspend Ray Rice for two games after the Baltimore Ravens running back cold-cocked his future wife in an Atlantic City casino elevator. There was outrage, but not enough to change the NFL commissioner's mind. He ...

DeMarcus Cousins Gives Rock-Stupid Sportswriter A Much-Deserved Smack
Five years ago today, professional dumb person Clay Travis tweeted a bold-ass prediction. "There is a 100% chance that DeMarcus Cousins is arrested for something in the next five years. 100%. Write it in stone," he said. "Write it in stone," he said!...

ProFootballTalk: Seahawks To Be Penalized Yardage For Lynch Dick Grabs
The NFL will be trying a new tactic to force Marshawn Lynch into line, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Lynch was fined $20,000 for the above crotch grab in Sunday's NFC Championship Game, and fined $11,500 earlier this season for doing the same. Since fines apparently do not deter behavi...

How To Meet Your Significant Other's Parents Without Terrifying Them
Of all the fraught rites of new-relationship escalation—Facebook status changes and move-ins and one of you using the toilet while the other showers and so on—none inspires more anticipatory dread than the Parent Meet. And for a whole host of legitimate reasons: the psychic weight of parental app...


Arkansas State Player Ejected For Threatening An Official
Well, here's a first. In the fourth quarter of tonight's already bonkers GoDaddy Bowl in Mobile, Arkansas State's Xavier Woodson got ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct. Specifically, Woodson was accused of "threatening an official."...

WatchESPN Goes Down During One Of Biggest ESPN Broadcasts Ever
ESPN is airing today's Rose Bowl and the historic start to the college football "playoff," but viewers hoping to tune in via tablet, computer, Xbox, Roku, or any other device have been shafted by the Worldwide Leader's online video service going down at the most inopportune time....

Here's A Mutant Hybrid Of Everyone's NFL Playoff Projections
With the NFL playoffs just a few weeks away, there are a lot of playoff probabilities going around. Functionally, these all do more or less the same thing. So instead of churning out our own—which, face it, we are probably not going to do better than what's already out in the world—we're mashing eve...

Here's Your Holiday Party Pre-Cleanup Checklist
'Tis the season to throw house parties, to jingle your balls, to get all festive-like. Which is fun! (Especially the ball-jingling part.) (Not that I would really know.) But those parties don't throw themselves: There's all that setup to be done, inevitable crises that arise during the festivities,...

Hurdler Kristi Castlin Tells You How To Not Get Fat Over The Holidays
Kristi Castlin is a very good hurdler. How good? The 26-year-old Atlanta native beat American record-holder Brianna Rollins in the 100-meter hurdlers in the spring, breaking Rollins' two-year winning streak. It came down to the thousandth of a second—Castlin's 12.571 seconds to Rollins' 12.576—and w...

Spanish Soccer Official Bails On Meeting To Go To Real Madrid Game
One of the most pressing concerns in Spanish soccer today is how to deal with fan violence. Apparently, a more pressing concern is whether Real Madrid will win the Club World Cup that takes place this week, since the president of Spanish Soccer blew off a meeting addressing the violence to watch Los...

NFL Admits Roughing The Passer Call On 49ers Was Wrong
The NFL has admitted it blew a call that felt pretty crucial at the time, a questionable roughing the passer penalty in yesterday's 17-7 Seahawks win that eliminated the 49ers from the playoffs. ...

The Lakers Threw Kobe Bryant A Sad Little Plane Party
Kobe Bryant passed Michael Jordan on the all-time NBA scoring list last night, and after the game it was time for Kobe and his teammates—his friends, his confidants, his brothers in arms—to cut loose and celebrate the man's tremendous accomplishment....

Transcript: Roger Goodell Doesn't Know What's Going On
ESPN's Don Van Natta Jr. published a nice scoop yesterday, having gotten his hands on the transcript from Ray Rice's suspension appeal hearing. He highlights one particular exchange which shows that if you take him at his word, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has absolutely no idea what's going on in...

SEC Network Screwup Replaces UT-Vandy Kickoff With Dick Stockton
Fans who tuned into ESPN's SEC Network for the kickoff of Tennessee-Vanderbilt today were instead greeted by an eerily silent Dick Stockton, who is calling a different game on an entirely different network....
![Zosia Mamet's 2010 Rap Video Is Fake Bullshit [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mkmxdolt2mivucjdypya.gif)
Zosia Mamet's 2010 Rap Video Is Fake Bullshit [UPDATE]
Update: Like everything else in this godforsaken world, this is nothing but a crummy commercial. First, here's the tip we received a couple days ago from a "Donald Duck" at [email protected]:...

All Hail Daren Bates, Who Committed A Truly Magnificent Offside Penalty
Never shame a man who tries his hardest, as the Rams' Daren Bates did today in attempting to block a 49ers field goal—and pulled the trigger just a bit too early....

76ers Also Deny Affiliation With Wingnut Dinesh D'Souza
Earlier today, we reached out to the Sacramento Kings to find out if they really were running an in-arena promotion with disgraced '80s relic/wingnut Dinesh D'Souza, as D'Souza had claimed on his Twitter account. The Kings told us they were not affiliated in any way with D'Souza, who then sent ano...

Bengals, Panthers Waste Everyone's Time, Tie
The Bengals and Panthers played four quarters and couldn't find a winner. They played another 15 minutes, but the game ended at 37-37. You know what that means: No one's happy!...