Three journalists — from the Associated Press, Reuters, and Bloomberg — accepted invitations to participate in the Tiger Woods apology kabuki. They should immediately be banished to whatever professional doghouse contains Judy Miller and the remains of Bob Novak.

"As Buddha says, you've been shot with an arrow once (by the infidelity or the hurtful event), don't stick a second arrow into the same wound (by keep reminding yourself and feeling resentful)..."[SomeBuddhistThing(2nd Question)]

Give your witticisms a workout as Tiger reads from a script pulled from the sex addiction handbook. In case you're not near a television, watch it here.

Oh...GET THE F OUT. As if this whole thing already wasn't one big giant sham, according to a report from WEEI, Michael Jordan will be in attendance at Tiger's 11 a.m. press conference.

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like American golf scribes, who defiantly removed their lips from the tainted buttocks of Tiger Woods and decided to collectively boycott today's "press conference."

No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre.

11 a.m. at PGA Tour headquarters. That's when Woods will re-emerge in public for the first time, according to Bloomberg.