The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences

Dashiell BennettDashiell Bennett|published: Thu 18th February, 14:55 2010
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No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre.

A quick study of the historic record also provides several different strategies for approaching this important Hail Mary of public relations. Which option will Tiger choose?

President Bill Clinton Strategy: Defiant lies

Basketball Guy Kobe Bryant Strategy: Hold on to your wife. Hard.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer Strategy: Martyr yourself

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford Strategy: Just completely wing it for 18 minutes

Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart Strategy: Cry, beg to your god

Idaho Senator Larry Craig Strategy: Definitely Not Gay

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey Strategy: Gay, but still married to an awesome gal

Louisiana Senator David Vitter Strategy: Confuse audience with references to obscure, unrelated legislation, then hide behind your wife.

Baseball Dude Alex Rodriguez Strategy: Just stop talking for 20 seconds or so


Pennsylvania Treasurer Bud Dwyer Strategy: Uh ... no. (WARNING: not safe for anyone who doesn't want to watch a guy shoot himself in the head.)

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