to-watch Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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What to watch while wondering why the Chinese government has to ruin everybody's fun... • Boxing: Super Featherweights, Humberto Soto vs. Joan Guzmán. Demetrius Hopkins highlights the undercard, should be a good night. [HBO] • CFB: West Virginia at Cincinnati. Is it the Mountaineers turn to lose? I ...
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What to watch when not even Subserviant Chicken will obey your requests ... • College football: Hawaii at Nevada. Honolulu and Reno ... practically identical in every way. [ESPN2] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, at New York, third-place game; Championship game (Memphis vs. UCo...
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What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...
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What to watch as you teach a raccoon to wash your dishes ... • College football: Akron at Miami (Ohio). Yager shall be rockin'. [ESPN2] • College basketball: North Carolina at Davidson. Playing the Wildcats in Bobcats Arena is no laughing matter. [ESPN] • NBA: Los Angeles Lakers at Houston. Yao smas...
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What to watch after rooting for the Puck Ewes ... • College football: Toledo at Ball State. Showdown at Scheumann Stadium. [ESPN2] • College basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Syracuse, N.Y.; NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Columbus, Ohio. College basketball is officially here...
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What to watch as you are chased by talking trees and flying monkeys ... • NFL: 49ers at Seahawks. For perhaps the only time, we wish Frank TV were here. [ESPN] • College basketball: New Mexico State at Duke; Youngstown State at UCLA. PenguinMania that grips the nation will only increase following th...
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What to watch as the Devil Rays cut their name in half ... • College football: Rutgers at Army. Scarlet Knights vs. Black Knights. Who ya got? [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA European Tour/PGA Tour of Australasia, HSBC Champions, third round, Shanghai. Australasia? You lost me. [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Denver ...
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What to watch after you are grounded for 15 years ...• College football: Louisville at West Virginia. Fear the cardinal. Its pecking could break the skin and give you a very bad infection. [ESPN] • NBA: Detroit at Chicago; Dallas at Golden State. Mavericks at Warriors. That somehow rings a bell ... ...
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What to watch as you enjoy some deep-fried cupcakes ... • College football: Ohio at Akron. The only thing bigger is the Super Bowl. [ESPN2] • Golf: PGA European Tour/PGA Tour Australasia, HSBC Champions, first round, at Shanghai. Late-night golf from Shanghai is pretty much whatt he inventors on TV ...
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What to watch after your wedgie attempts are thwarted ... • College football: Central Michigan at Western Michigan. What the old-timers call "The Battle Between Those Two Teams From Michigan Whose Mascots We Can't Quite Recall." [ESPN] • Boxing: Middleweights, Sakio Bika (22-3-2) vs. Jaidon Codringt...
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What to watch as you cuddle with your vital organs ... • NFL: Baltimore at Pittsburgh. We preferred this matchup back when there was no AFC. [ESPN] • NHL: Philadelphia at New York Rangers. Petr Prucha picked a peck of picked peppers. [Versus] • NBA: Rockets at Mavericks. More excitement than fifty W...
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What to watch while locking yourself in your bathroom, reading the minutes from last week's Porn Club meeting... • 7 p.m. — Drag Racing: NHRA Auto Club of Southern California finals, Pomona, California. Ahh! which way do I turn? Which way do I turn? [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: SMU at Houston. ...
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What to watch while setting your clocks ahead one hour, then realizing you're doing it wrong... • 6:40 p.m. — NCAA Football: Arizona State at Oregon. [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Florida State at Boston College, Texas A&M at Oklahoma, Oregon State at USC. The regional coverage map reminds me I n...
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What to watch as (no end to sentence due to writers' strike) ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Eddie "Torture" Chambers vs. Calvin "Lou" Brock; lightweights, Josesito "Mario" Lopez vs. Tyrone Harris "Poll", Tacoma, Wash. [Showtime] • College football: Nevada at New Mexico State. The only animals more dang...
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What to watch as the Halloween sugar rush begins to subside ... • College football: Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech. One Tech to rule them all. [ESPN] • NBA: Detroit at Miami; Phoenix at Seattle. Finally, America can get its Nash on. [TNT] • Soccer: MLS, playoffs, Eastern Conference semifinal, second ...
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What to watch as local punks egg your car ... • NBA: Dallas at Cleveland; Seattle at Denver. No Jub Jub? [ESPN] • NHL: Hurricanes at Panthers. Baby it's cold inside. [Fox Sports] • Movie: Poltergeist. You moved the headstones but you didn't move the bodies! You didn't move the bodies! [ABC FAM]...
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What to watch as you read Scott Boras' neatly-typed apology letter, which may or may not be sincere ... • NBA: Portland at San Antonio; Houston at Los Angeles Lakers. Charles Barkley is back! Did you miss him? [TNT] • NHL: Pittsburgh at Minnesota. Try to control your Penguin Lust. [Versus] • Boxing:...
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What to watch as ... hey, where did Julie go? She just vanished! ... • NFL: Green Bay at Denver. Favre plus thin oxygen equals wacky fun for the entire family. [ESPN] • NHL: San Jose at Dallas. Sharks are in town, which means it's free skate! [Versus] • Local programming: Please enjoy endless hours ...
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What to watch while bending over and taking it from the Patriots... • MLB: World Series Game 4, Boston at Colorado. If God's going to make something happen, now is the time. [FOX] • CFB: Central Florida at Southern Mississippi. Don't ask why, just go with it. [ESPN] • Uncomfortable Comedy: Curb Your...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while your fantasy team conducts their final walk-through before tomorrow's big game... • World Series Game 3, Boston at Colorado. Dominican Lou says "It is berry berry cold." I expect Screwballs to post more feats of female hoisting, the air is thinner out there.[FOX] • College footba...