tony Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For Tony Romo, Fans Fumble Golf Etiquette
Tiger Woods teed off today with Tony Romo in his pro-am at Congressional Country Club. In Washington D.C. Spectators don't really like Tony Romo there, so they boo him. But Jessica Simpson — she's OK anywhere. [D.C. Sports Bog]...
Billy Mays' Death Is A Golden Marketing Opportunity
Billy Mays was the ultimate pitchman, so what better way to honor his memory than with a poorly conceived, possibly tasteless press release tangentially related to his infomercial lifestyle? Someone get Tony Mandarich on the phone....
Tony Mandarich's Porno Revenge Web Site (UPDATED)
Tony Mandarich's ex-fiancee is suing the world's most famous draft bust because she claims that he set up a porn website under her name to embarrass her with pictures of her doing dirty, dirty things. That's not very gentlemanly....
Fat-Bottomed Romo Now More Sleek
According to a report in the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, Cowboys coach Jason Garrett lovingly told quarterback Tony Romo that his butt was too big to be a good finisher this season. Too much cake? [Uwe Blog]...
Tony Parker Needs New Defensive Help
Like many rich people, Tony Parker's house is filled with valuable commodities. Or it was, until the security guard hired to protect said valuables decided to steal some and sell them on Craigslist instead....
All's Well That Ends Well With @TonyLaRussa (Update)
An unspecified Twitter loss is Tony La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation's gain, which means that Twitter parodies are not only funny, but also save the world. Or at least the cuter part of it....
Tony La Russa Is Not Laughing At Your Satire
Dugout genius Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, claiming he "suffered significant emotional distress" and "damage to his reputation" because of a fake La Russa account. Sheesh, can't the man take a few jokes about dead pitchers and drunk driving?...
Mariotti Offers A Comforting Hand To Kornheiser, Himself
Shouty Jay Mariotti says he'll miss Tony Kornheiser on MNF, a man with whom he feuded cattily for indeterminate reasons over the years. This seems mystifyingly bighearted until you realize he's actually writing about himself....
Avalanche Coach The Next Victim Of A Roy Family Sucker Punch?
Patrick Roy is reportedly "mulling" an offer to be head coach of Colorado, even though current coach Tony Granato has not yet been fired. If that doesn't work, his sons will just rough Granato up in the parking lot. [Denver Post]...
Jon Gruden Joins "Monday Night Football" Crew. Seriously.
Good news for Kornheiser haters! Tony is officially stepping down as third man in the "Monday Night Football" booth. The slightly more exciting (upsetting? baffling?) news is that Lil' Jon Gruden will take his seat....
Tony Banks On Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend: I Know That "Chick"
Former NFL QB Tony Banks says he remembers Crystal Taylor—Dirk Nowitzki's jailed "girlfriend"—because she tried to scam him almost ten years ago. He's got quite a tale to tell....
Vanity Fair Loves To Let The Famous Ladies Of Popular Quarterbacks Speak Honestly
Last month it was Gisele. This month? Jessica Simpson: "Before a game, I'm crazed, sending mass e-mails: ‘Please pray for Tony's protection.'" This poor guy. [VF.com]...
A Final Message From Bea Arthur: Be A Good Sport
I'm trying to picture the production meeting that made this ad a reality. "Ok, once we signed Bea Arthur then, of course, Lemieux was eager to get on board. And we got the girl in the wheelchair to round out the gang of lovable misfits who learn about the true gift of friendly competition. But I sti...
Learning English The Kornheiser And Wilbon Way
I'm not sure how often "Stick a fork in them, the run is over, Wilbon," comes up in normal conversation, but if it does, these Chinese students learning English have that situation covered....
Tony Allen Is Not Very Popular In Chicago
Boston Celtics' guard Tony Allen apparently has angered some Chicago-area individuals so much they have threatened to kill him, prompting Tom Clancy-like security for him during last night's Bulls/Celtics game at the United Center....
Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...
Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....
Erick Dampier Should Not Think Out Loud
"Every time [Tony Parker] drives the lane, we have to put him on his back....My first foul Thursday night is going to put him on his back. I guarantee it." [Dallas Morning News]...
Tony Romo's Life Just Got Upskirt And Personal
Regardless of my Eagles fandom, Tony Romo seems like a well-mannered, well-adjusted human being who just happens to be quarterback for the second most despicable team in America. (NSFW)...
Kornheiser Shows Off His Old Jewishness
He's a regular Jackie Mason. [Old Jews Telling Jokes]...