tonylarussa Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....

Tony La Russa Is Going To Overmanage Right At Jonny Gomes's Head
The Reds' Jonny Gomes reacts to Adam Wainwright's "significant" elbow injury: "The melody was not recognizable, but the words were plaintive: 'Wainwright's gone, Wainwright's gone, Wainwright's gone,' he sang joyously." [Dayton Daily News]...

Don Mattingly Will Stop At Nothing To Find A World Series Ring
Your morning roundup for Feb. 16, a day after a guy from Texas retired from riding bicycles while wearing tights. Again....

The Worst Men In Sports
Our friends at The Good Men Project have compiled a list of the top 10 good guys in sports. This is not that list....

Analyst: Cardinals Quit With "Poopy in their Pants" and "Skid Marks in Their Britches"
Former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder, and current team anaylst, Jack "The Ripper" Clark has grown tired with the home nine's lack of effort. He isn't content just to mention that they're "quitters," though. He gets all diagnosis-y with it....

Boston Columnist Doth Question White Jesus' Free Ride, Pre-Kickoff Smiting Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tony La Russa Isn't Lying About Being Apolitical. That's The Problem.
Tony La Russa and I have the same literary agent. This might tell you all you need to know about the state of literature, but nonetheless, it's true. When Are We Winning? was in galleys, my agent sent La Russa a copy....

La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...

Tea Partiers Support Diamondbacks, Tony La Russa Supports Tea Partiers
Members of the St. Louis Tea Party came out in force for Tuesday's Cardinals game against the D-Backs, but the real can of worms was opened when La Russa came out in favor of Arizona's crackdown....

Absurdly Long Games Are Just The Greatest
The Mets' and Cardinals' 20-inning, 6-hour and 53-minute marathon was the most fascinating game we're likely to see all year. Let's do the post-mortem....

Tony La Russa Is Screwing With Baseball Writers' Heads
Self-important blowhard manager loosely speculating about pinch-hitting Mark McGwire this season vs. self-important blowhard media collective accusing him of dicking around with Mark McGwire's Hall of Fame clock: Who ya got? [NYDN]...

Look Who's Tweeting
Why, it's none other than Tony La Russa, the Kant of the lineup card and a onetime litigant against Twitter. Like everyone else, he's following @Alyssa_Milano. [@TonyLaRussa, RFT]...

The Mark McGwire Rehabilitation Project Begins Now
Mark McGwire wants to be loved again. Unfortunately, everyone hates him. So how to remedy that? Simple. Hitch your wagon to Tony La Russa's star. Everyone loves that dude!...

Eagerly Awaiting Tony La Russa's Postseason Implosion
The best thing about having the Cardinals around in October is the inevitable moment when La Russa, lineup-card philosopher and Buzz Bissinger's kewpie doll, gets bounced on his ass by a team that realizes the game is baseball, not chess....

Un-Rubbed Balls Create Sticky Situation For Cardinals
John Smoltz thinks the reason he got roughed up last night is because his balls were not properly rubbed down. Yet, opposing pitcher Bronson Arroyo threw just fine. Is it because he was rubbing something special on his own balls?...

Tony La Russa Wisely Drops His Lawsuit Against Twitter
"La Russa's lawyer, Gregory McCoy, wrote that his client was dismissing the case, adding that "No payment was made by Twitter to La Russa in exchange for this dismissal." Expect 14 more Tony La Russa impersonators by noon. [Law.com]...

All's Well That Ends Well With @TonyLaRussa (Update)
An unspecified Twitter loss is Tony La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation's gain, which means that Twitter parodies are not only funny, but also save the world. Or at least the cuter part of it....

Tony La Russa Is Not Laughing At Your Satire
Dugout genius Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, claiming he "suffered significant emotional distress" and "damage to his reputation" because of a fake La Russa account. Sheesh, can't the man take a few jokes about dead pitchers and drunk driving?...

Brain Explosions: Tony LaRussa Reveals To Duff McKagan That He Really Wanted to Coach the Mariners
Former Guns N' Roses bassist Duff McKagan has been online diary-ing for the Seattle Weekly, talking about all things Duff-related and this week he tackles a topic near and dear to him: Seattle's struggling sports teams. The cleverly titled "What happened to our teams?" lets Duff engage his inner W.C...

A Personalized Jersey That's Well Worth The Trouble
Say what you about Cardinals fans and their blind loyalty, but you can't deny, upon seeing this fan, that they don't have a sense of humor about their Birds. Well, the mohawked fans, anyway....