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Bristolmetrics: Apocalypse Comes To Daytona Beach, And A Female Athlete Is Mentioned 16 Times On <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Inside The Spring Training Market For $4 Porn
Excerpted from former Padre and Blue Jay Dirk Hayhurst's splendid new book, Out of My League, a true chronicle of life as a pitcher bouncing between the minor leagues and the show. Some names have been changed....

Bountygate Gives Roger Goodell Another Chance To Show You What A Big Dick He Has
I'd like to thank Gregg Williams for inspiring the single stupidest blog post headline of the year, from Frank Bruni of The New York Times. You can tell a sports scandal has reached its wear-out phase if Bruni feels compelled to chime in on it. Anyway, here's the headline:...

Meet The Convicted Felon Who Defrauded The NFL, Made Reggie Bush Ineligible, And Funded The Saints' Bounty Program
If the NFL were to punish every team that ran a bounty program, there are very few teams they wouldn't have to punish. That's becoming obvious in the wake of the Saints' bounty scandal, and in the parade of stories making clear that money is going to be a large factor in the league's investigation. ...

LeBron James: Purse Aficionado
There's so many great things about this screencap. First, LeBron is carrying a purse. ("It's not a purse, it's European!") What could possibly fit into such a tiny bag? ...

Twin Sisters Are Iditarod Racers
We don't get much Iditarod coverage around these parts, so thank you to tipster Brandon for sending this along. Anna and Kristy Berington are Wisconsin natives living in Alaska. Above all else, they are trailblazing dog racers. As you read this they are probably mushing their way through the Alaska...

Can LeBron James Do Anything Right?
Following the Miami Heat loss to the Utah Jazz, a loss in which LeBron scored 17 in the fourth quarter but passed on the final possession, the argument goes like this: "It was the right 'basketball' play, but I would like to see LeBron take that shot." Or, as ESPN's resident basketball-as-played in...

Jon Hamm, Who Used To Comment On Deadspin, Clarifies His Involvement With Texas Longhorns Baseball
We posted a story earlier today about a story Mad Men star Jon Hamm told on Letterman last night. Hamm told Letterman that he was tempted to walk onto the baseball team at the University of Texas, but Longhorns ace Roger Clemens intimidated him. But Hamm was in junior high when Clemens left UT. We w...

Dead Letters: Chill With The Communist Soccer, You Idiots
Subject: CHILL WITH THE SOCCER...

The Hit That Knocked Kurt Warner Into Retirement Sure Looks Different Knowing The Saints Got Paid To Injure Him
An NFL investigation that lasted two whole years has come to fruition, with the league announcing that the Saints defense had a bounty program over the last three seasons. The pool was orchestrated by defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, and reportedly rewarded players as much as $1500 for a "kn...

The Oppressively Nihilistic Anti-Comedy Of Tim And Eric, Who Think You're Stupid For Laughing
Every week, Tim Heidecker, with Gregg Turkington (who also performs as Neil Hamburger), hosts a podcast called "On Cinema." Like every other movie podcast, it features two friends and movie nerds talking back and forth about a particular movie. The thing about "On Cinema," though, is that it's horri...

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, You're Fucked: 10 Tips For Avoiding Terrible Children's Books
As you may have heard, Jan Berenstain, the lady who co-created the Berenstain Bears series, died this week. And it’s measure of how bad those books are that some people wasted no time dancing on her grave. Now, it’s incredibly crass and rude to rip into a poor old woman who just died. But those book...

Colin Cowherd Is Obsessed With "Thugs," So Here's A Rap Video Featuring Colin Cowherd
Colin Cowherd's no stranger to racial controversy, much of it dealing with his portrayals of black basketball players. During a discussion of the issues plaguing UCLA's basketball team, no fewer than 25 iterations of the word "thug" appeared on Cowherd's program today, usually with a direct asso...

A Teen Movie That Really Wants To Offend You (And Show You Its Boobs). <em>Project X</em>, Reviewed.
Project X is one of those movies I suspect really, really wants certain people to give it bad reviews. Produced by Todd Phillips, the director of the Hangover movies and Old School, this teen comedy has set its sights on nothing less than being the most shameless, most titillating crazy-party film e...

13 Right-Wing Talking Points For The Simmons-Obama Podcast
As you might have heard, Bill Simmons finally scored an interview with Barack Obama this week. Now, we at Deadspin are obviously part of the Giant Liberal Gay Media Deathship, but that doesn't mean we can't at least try to strive for balance on occasion. That's why, as a favor to all the remaining G...

Mike Milbury And Jeremy Roenick Nearly Came To Blows On NBC Sports Tonight
A discussion of rough play in the NHL appeared to approach violence itself as hockey dad Mike Milbury and analyst Jeremy Roenick engaged in a heated argument live on NBC Sports Network. ...

Babies Are Stupid
This is the baby's idea of a game: He keeps trying to throw himself off the couch, headfirst. It's completely intentional. I sit him upright, and he looks me in the eye, holds my gaze, grins—and then pitches over sideways. I grab him, reel him back in, and straighten him up, and he grins again and t...

The U.S. Beat Italy For The First Time Ever Thanks To This Clint Dempsey Goal
With Landon Donovan unfit to take the pitch, the U.S. wasn't given much chance to beat Italy in today's international friendly match in Genoa. But Clint Dempsey—scoring machine for Fulham of late—drew first blood for the Yanks off a timely pass from Jozy Altidore. It was the first non-penalty sco...

What Happened To Robert De Niro? <em>Being Flynn</em>, Reviewed.
1. When did we lose Robert De Niro? The popular image of Robert De Niro, America's Actor, Master Craftsman, Maestro of Method, has lingered in the public consciousness in spite of his work over the last 20 years rather than because of it. De Niro these days seems far more interested in being The Pub...

The Strange And Feverish Saga Of The Tipster Who Had "Huge Brett Favre News" For Us
Call him Pete. He emerged from the internet at 6:13 p.m. on Feb. 6. "Huge Brett Favre news text me," read the subject line of Pete's email to Deadspin, followed by a phone number with a Wisconsin area code—West Bend, it would turn out. I was about to step into another man's fever dream. Or was it my...