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Cockblocked By Kim Jong Il!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Reader Mail: All The Letters We've Gotten From One Persistent Critic
We’re doing a special edition of Dead Letters this week, featuring recurring Deadspin agitator Joe Devanna, and every email he’s sent us in the past 12 months, presented in chronological order....

Topps Sued For Firing Employee, Then Putting Him On A Trading Card
In the fall, Topps released a handful of very odd cards. Dubbed "American History Relics," they were five-card runs of John Henry, Pecos Bill, and Leif Ericson. Despite their rarity, the cards were a flop — one sold for $84 on eBay — perhaps because they were so strange. Card collectors like collect...

The Best And Very, Very Worst Of JaVale McGee: A Video Tribute
JaVale McGee is an elite athlete who does things that most people could never even dream of. That's what makes it all the better when JaVale decides his talents are best spent doing things like goaltending a shot into the fifth row and running back on defense while his team still has the ball. ...

Oscar Week: Why <em>Midnight In Paris</em> Should Win Best Picture
Tim Grierson and Will Leitch will be writing regularly on Gawker and Deadspin about movies, starting this week. Yesterday and today, to wrap up the week, we're showering love on our favorite films that are up for Best Picture. Yesterday, Tim Grierson took up the case of The Descendants. Today: Will ...

The Heat Didn't Contain Jeremy Lin; They Smothered Him
Jeremy Lin had his first game that you can't spin as something other than outright terrible, and everyone wants to know how it's done. Sebastian Pruiti took a hell of a look at the possibilities for guarding Lin, and nailed it: the double-team off Lin's favored pick-and-roll. The Mavericks ran the e...

Sick Children Are Where Good Food Goes To Die
There's a half a bowl of Top Ramen sitting in my kitchen right now. It's gorgeous. The broth is warm. The noodles are all soft and crimpy. It's just begging me to eat it. It's just aching for me to take it into the coat closet and do VILE, DISGUSTING things to it....

Ryan Braun Drug Test Saga Now Officially Screwball Comedy
Tom Haudricourt initially reported that Braun's appeal was based on disputing the testing procedures, not his positive test. It looks like we've got more detail, and, oh man: ...

How Did This Personalized Note From Kevin Durant End Up On The Floor Of A University Of Texas Bathroom?
Homer Rainey Hall is an unassuming administrative building in the middle of UT's Austin Campus. It largely contains offices for professors in the school's language department, but today it contains a mystery....

Oscar Week: Why <em>The Descendants</em> Should Win Best Picture
Tim Grierson and Will Leitch will be writing regularly on Gawker and Deadspin about movies, starting this week. Today and tomorrow, we're going to shower love on our favorite films that are up for Best Picture. First up, why we'd be happy if The Descendants won the Oscar. Follow Grierson & Leitch on...

All The Racist Jokes You Shouldn't Make About Jeremy Lin, According To The Asian American Journalists Association
If you're part of a minority group, there's a journalism association for you. NABJ, AWSM, SAJA, NAAJA, NAHJ, AMEJA, EAJA, WAJA, the acronyms go on. But Linsanity, with all the casual racism associated with it, is AAJA's time to shine. The Asian American Journalists Association has been all over the ...

The Hater's Guide To The 2012 Academy Awards
Ah, the Academy Awards. To give you a firm understanding of just how awful the Oscars are, consider this: This is the only entity in the universe that considers the inclusion of Billy Crystal to be an act of salvation. If they told you they were going to try and fix all the gaping plot holes of The ...

Glory Days: I Was Paul Pierce's Nightmare (In A Game We Lost By 58 Points)
Sports greatness takes place all the time, all over the country. Sometimes, as with our own Tommy Craggs, those moments of triumph are preserved forever, even if it's on a crappy videotape that's been forgotten about and no one's watched it for years. In this occasional series, we'll show the vid...

Photoshop Contest: That Jerkoff Kid Behind Doug Gottlieb
We can't stop marveling at the brilliant juvenile hijinks displayed last night at the Kansas State-Missouri game by the young man sitting directly behind Doug Gottlieb, which our own Tim Burke so memorably captured in a .gif we posted this morning. But there's no reason for the fun to stop there; t...

Oscar Week: In Defense Of <i>Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close</i>
Tim Grierson and Will Leitch will be writing regularly on Gawker and Deadspin about movies, starting this week. We begin with defending the indefensible: praising the Oscar-nominated movie everyone seems to hate. Today, why you're wrong for hating Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. Follow Grierson &...

Confessions Of A Fan Photographer: The Abyss Gazes Back!
Republished with permission from The Classical....

An Interview With The 160-Pound Test Proctor Who Is Challenging Musician Chris Brown To An MMA Fight
In 2009, entertainer Chris Brown was charged with felony assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna and sentenced to five years of probation and six months of community service. The man behind the Twitter handle @ChrsBrwnChllnge, who hasn't disclosed his name besides saying that his initials are D.G., doesn...

Does Being Named "Ashley" Make You Hot? An Unscientific Study
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick programming note: I'm gonna be liveblogging the Oscars over at Gawker on Sunday night. We'll be plumbing depths of bitchiness heretofore unimaginable, so stop by if you feel like it. To your letters:...

The Making Of “Homer At The Bat,” The Episode That Conquered Prime Time 20 Years Ago Tonight
On Feb. 20, 1992, more American homes tuned into The Simpsons than they did The Cosby Show or the Winter Olympics from Albertville, France. A foul-mouthed cartoon on a fourth-place network bested the Huxtables and the world's best amateur athletes. Fox over NBC and CBS—its first-ever victory in prim...

The Diary Of A Man With The Stomach Flu
One of my main goals in life is to make it through an entire winter without getting sick, and I was so, so very close this time around. The mild winter combined with the flu shot and my wife's demands that I wash my hands 9,000 times a day—to the point where the skin has been stripped away from my h...