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An Interview With The 160-Pound Test Proctor Who Is Challenging Musician Chris Brown To An MMA Fight
In 2009, entertainer Chris Brown was charged with felony assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna and sentenced to five years of probation and six months of community service. The man behind the Twitter handle @ChrsBrwnChllnge, who hasn't disclosed his name besides saying that his initials are D.G., doesn...

Does Being Named "Ashley" Make You Hot? An Unscientific Study
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick programming note: I'm gonna be liveblogging the Oscars over at Gawker on Sunday night. We'll be plumbing depths of bitchiness heretofore unimaginable, so stop by if you feel like it. To your letters:...

The Making Of “Homer At The Bat,” The Episode That Conquered Prime Time 20 Years Ago Tonight
On Feb. 20, 1992, more American homes tuned into The Simpsons than they did The Cosby Show or the Winter Olympics from Albertville, France. A foul-mouthed cartoon on a fourth-place network bested the Huxtables and the world's best amateur athletes. Fox over NBC and CBS—its first-ever victory in prim...

The Diary Of A Man With The Stomach Flu
One of my main goals in life is to make it through an entire winter without getting sick, and I was so, so very close this time around. The mild winter combined with the flu shot and my wife's demands that I wash my hands 9,000 times a day—to the point where the skin has been stripped away from my h...

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said "Lin" More Often Than "If" Or "But" Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Buster Posey And The Dusk Of The Slugging Catcher
The 2010 NL Rookie of the Year played in just 45 games last season because, and solely because, he is a catcher....

Fired ESPN Editor Apologizes, Says "Chink In The Armor" Headline Not Intended As A Slur
Anthony Federico, the ESPN editor fired yesterday for his unfortunate use of the phrase "Chink in the Armor" in a headline about Jeremy Lin, has explained himself to the the New York Daily News. Federico said he meant no disrespect and was "devastated" once it dawned on him what he had done. The hea...

Here's The Canadiens' Gary Carter Tribute That Didn't Air In The United States
For reasons that baffle the mind, NBC Sports Network elected not to show you this touching tribute to Gary Carter that preceded tonight's Devils-Canadiens game in Montreal. Carter—one of Montreal's true sports legends—was given a hero's au revoir that deserves to be seen by a wider audience, so h...

ESPN Fires "Chink In The Armor" Scribe
ESPN has acted swiftly and definitively to the outrage of its own creation. The headline writer? Gone. The anchor (Max Bretos) with a similar slip of the tongue? Suspended. Thirty days. The radio guy who made the same mistake? Someone else's problem—he's not an ESPN employee. Phew. ...

<em>Saturday Night Live</em>'s Linsanity Cold Open Officially Exhausted The List Of Lin Puns
If you missed Saturday Night Live tonight (or if you live on the West Coast where it hasn't aired yet) here's the actually-okay cold open, which gives Linsanity the full treatment, with a heavy nod to last night's ESPN.com unfortunate turn of phrase. [NBC]...

David Haye Showed Up At Dereck Chisora's Post-Fight Presser, Tried To Beat Him With A Tripod
The circus that surrounded British heavyweight Dereck Chisora during his unsuccessful attempt to take the WBC title from Vitali Klitschko continued after the fight, when fellow Brit David Haye arrived to, apparently, start some shit....

Dereck Chisora May Have A Death Wish, As He Spat Water In Wladimir Klitschko's Face Just Before Today's Fight
It's the seventh round of Dereck Chisora's WBC title challenge against Vitali Klitschko, but the most interesting action took place before the bout began. ...

ESPN's Headline Writers Join In The Linsanity: "Chink In The Armor" Edition
Linsanity is an unstoppable force that one can only hope to contain. Yes, according to many of you who read ESPN's mobile site, this is an actual "Chink in the armor" headline that the leader of sports—worldwide—blared to smartphone and other gadget users following the Knicks loss last night. ...

20 Years Ago, Tim Wakefield Had A Fast Rise And Fall In Pittsburgh
In May 1992, Pittsburgh's two daily newspapers at the time—the Press and the Post-Gazette—went on strike. The walkout left the city without a paper of record for eight months, an unremarkable footnote of Yinzer history that happened to coincide with a most remarkable moment for the city's sports tea...

David Brooks Has Written The Dumbest Jeremy Lin Column So Far* (*Non-Bissinger Division)
"The moral ethos of sport," writes New York Times op-ed columnist David Brooks today—and let's pause right there for a word of professional advice: if you use the word "sport," you should not be writing about sports, unless you are British and you also write "maths," in which case you may write abou...

Cockblocked By Pop Geography Quizzes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....


Tim Wakefield Is Retiring After 19 Weird, Fluttery Seasons And 200 Wins
The knuckleballer's mystique has long fascinated us. Our curiosity was only further piqued when Phil Niekro, Charlie Hough, R.A. Dickey, and Tim Wakefield went on a two-day retreat together in Georgia in the offseason. They're a fraternity of oddballs who throw odd balls....

Dereck Chisora Slapped Vitali Klitschko At The Weigh-In Before Tomorrow's Title Bout
In the annals of boxing blunders—and the exploits of Mike Tyson have made those some very thick books indeed—you may be unlikely to find an act so brazen and stupid as what Dereck Chisora did today in Munich at the weigh-in for his WBC heavyweight title fight against Vitali Klitschko. ...

A Panda And A Shrieking Monkey Are Stalking Bob Knight, As They Should Be
Your morning roundup for Feb. 17. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...