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<em>Saturday Night Live</em>'s Linsanity Cold Open Officially Exhausted The List Of Lin Puns
If you missed Saturday Night Live tonight (or if you live on the West Coast where it hasn't aired yet) here's the actually-okay cold open, which gives Linsanity the full treatment, with a heavy nod to last night's ESPN.com unfortunate turn of phrase. [NBC]...

David Haye Showed Up At Dereck Chisora's Post-Fight Presser, Tried To Beat Him With A Tripod
The circus that surrounded British heavyweight Dereck Chisora during his unsuccessful attempt to take the WBC title from Vitali Klitschko continued after the fight, when fellow Brit David Haye arrived to, apparently, start some shit....

Dereck Chisora May Have A Death Wish, As He Spat Water In Wladimir Klitschko's Face Just Before Today's Fight
It's the seventh round of Dereck Chisora's WBC title challenge against Vitali Klitschko, but the most interesting action took place before the bout began. ...

ESPN's Headline Writers Join In The Linsanity: "Chink In The Armor" Edition
Linsanity is an unstoppable force that one can only hope to contain. Yes, according to many of you who read ESPN's mobile site, this is an actual "Chink in the armor" headline that the leader of sports—worldwide—blared to smartphone and other gadget users following the Knicks loss last night. ...

20 Years Ago, Tim Wakefield Had A Fast Rise And Fall In Pittsburgh
In May 1992, Pittsburgh's two daily newspapers at the time—the Press and the Post-Gazette—went on strike. The walkout left the city without a paper of record for eight months, an unremarkable footnote of Yinzer history that happened to coincide with a most remarkable moment for the city's sports tea...

David Brooks Has Written The Dumbest Jeremy Lin Column So Far* (*Non-Bissinger Division)
"The moral ethos of sport," writes New York Times op-ed columnist David Brooks today—and let's pause right there for a word of professional advice: if you use the word "sport," you should not be writing about sports, unless you are British and you also write "maths," in which case you may write abou...

Cockblocked By Pop Geography Quizzes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....


Tim Wakefield Is Retiring After 19 Weird, Fluttery Seasons And 200 Wins
The knuckleballer's mystique has long fascinated us. Our curiosity was only further piqued when Phil Niekro, Charlie Hough, R.A. Dickey, and Tim Wakefield went on a two-day retreat together in Georgia in the offseason. They're a fraternity of oddballs who throw odd balls....

Dereck Chisora Slapped Vitali Klitschko At The Weigh-In Before Tomorrow's Title Bout
In the annals of boxing blunders—and the exploits of Mike Tyson have made those some very thick books indeed—you may be unlikely to find an act so brazen and stupid as what Dereck Chisora did today in Munich at the weigh-in for his WBC heavyweight title fight against Vitali Klitschko. ...

A Panda And A Shrieking Monkey Are Stalking Bob Knight, As They Should Be
Your morning roundup for Feb. 17. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...

Gary Carter Went Out With A Win
There's a great line in the New York Times obituary of Gary Carter that says he "may have led the 1986 Mets in hugging teammates."...

Are New York’s Most Exclusive Restaurants More Eager To Seat Jeremy Lin Or Eli Manning? Deadspin Investigates
Who's the biggest thing in New York right now? Is it Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin, the unlikely guy leading his team on an improbable charge to .500, collecting terrible, punning tabloid headlines along the way? Or is it Giants quarterback Eli Manning, the unlikely guy who led his team on an improb...

Children's Music Will Destroy Your Good Taste Forever; Or, How I Came To Like Kidz Bop
I have two kids, and so I have to listen to lots of kids' music. Horrible, awful, miserable kids' music. Almost all of it is complete dogshit. All of the songs from Dora are horrible. All of the songs from Thomas the Tank Engine are puke. And whoever wrote the Bond-style songs for Special Agent Oso ...

Ron Jaworski Gets Booted From The <em>Monday Night Football</em> Booth. THIS GUY IS HAPPY!
Have you ever dreamed of what the Monday Night Football Booth might sound like without Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden egging each other on reach to new and disturbing levels of sycophantic guffawing? I have. Oh, how I've dreamed of a sensibly assembled two-man MNF booth featuring Mike Tirico bitching o...

Stop The #SILINSANITY! Great Moments In <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Crapping All Over Its Cover With A Twitter Hashtag
If you can't be first, at least be the most inane. That's how Sports Illustrated is handling the challenge of being a weekly magazine chasing the fast-moving phenomenon that is Jeremy Lin. Instead of running a nice, straightforward dead-tree cover of the Knicks' new point guard attacking the Lakers...

Jeremy Lin Hits Game-Winning Three-Pointer With 0.5 Seconds Left
Linsanity lives, as Jeremy Lin (after tying the game with a hoop-and-the-harm three point play) won it for the Knicks with this three, giving him 12 points in the fourth quarter (27 for the game) and the Knicks their sixth straight win. [TSN]...

Looking For Love On Valentine's Day At Westminster
I have a girlfriend and a cat, and at Westminster I feel like I'm cheating on both. When's the last time you fell in love at first sight? When your heart and soul was completely handed over within seconds of meeting someone? When you and a complete stranger fell into a slobbery make-out session, wit...

Darren Rovell Gets On One Knee, Asks Kate Upton To Be His Valentine, Is Rejected
The very married CNBC sports business expert Darren Rovell (very married as in his wife is very pregnant) continued his ill-advised campaign of Kate Upton obsession (see: his Twitter avatar and this article) today when after a group conversation about Upton's appearance on the cover of this year'...

Only A Fool Would Want His Kid To Play Football
I had to go get my watch fixed the other day, and the watch fixing place that I go to is one of those old school clockmaker shops that looks like it's run by a serial killer. There are old clocks all over the place and random magazine clippings tacked to the wall, with all kinds of strange tools sca...