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Your Viewing Guide To The 2011 MLB Playoffs
It's October (almost)! And you know what that means: everyone you know will now pretend to have cared about baseball for the past six months so that they can safely pretend to care about it for the next month. Prepare yourself for those unendurable office talks with the guy who just learned that the...
Pussyblocked By Tom Waits!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...
Mike Ditka Is Angry About The Walter Payton Book He Hasn't Read
I'd bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in yours that Mike Ditka hasn't read Jeff Pearlman's revelatory biography of Walter Payton, which was excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated and which has the Chicago media scurrying to find any old Bear willing to glower at a book he ha...
Let's Watch A Soccer Goalie's Epic Fail At Attempting A Clearing Pass
Your morning roundup for Sept. 30, the day we we laughed at Florida, again and always. Video via Goal 100. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Hey, Craig Kimbrel! Don't Worry, The Internet Has Found Your Wallet
According to one reader, Kimbrel's Wednesday night did not get any better after his disastrous meltdown against the Philadelphia Phillies. Let's recap the rookie closer's part in eliminating the Braves from playoff contention:...
The Photos Of Yankees GM Brian Cashman That Broke Up A Marriage
No, there are no photos of Cashman's actual dong to show you—not that we know of—but now the story of Cash's dong's wayward habits is news. The Yankees general manager's relationship with the woman in these photos has been known or suspected among New York reporters for years, but has been just too ...
The Best Four Minutes Of Baseball Last Night, Presented In Split Screen
We've put together a split-screen video syncing up the conclusions of both Yankees-Rays and Red Sox-Orioles that we hope the IP crew at MLB is too hungover today to notice. Enjoy....
The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Did Not Know It Would Be Seen As Racist
From the AP: "The lawyer for a man accused of throwing a banana at a black NHL player says his client deeply regrets what he did and had no idea his actions could be seen as racist."...
Why It's OK To Hate Ron Jaworski And Jon Gruden
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
All The Baseball Announcers' Big, Joyous Calls Last Night (And Then One By Michael Kay)
Lots of exciting things happened on Wednesday, and for the most part our baseball broadcasters were up to the task. Above, we've compiled their calls of last night's biggest moments. Below, well, listen for yourself. ...
Jose Reyes Is A Selfish, Gutless, Stat-Padding Quitter (Just Like Derek Jeter)
From the moment Jose Reyes dropped a first-inning bunt single and then checked out of the season's final game, leaving his average at .337 and all but assuring the Mets of the first batting title in franchise history, it was obvious that people who need something to yell about were going to yell abo...
Watch Harold Reynolds And Dan Plesac React To Last Night's Baseball Games Like The Rest Of Us Did
Your morning roundup for Sept. 29, the day we learned rotting fruit was an aphrodisiac. Video via Midwest Sports Fans. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Yankees GM Brian Cashman Possibly Caught In Messy Extramarital Affair
Sometime between February and March in 2009, Yankees general manager Brian Cashman headed down to Tampa to join his team for the usual spring training routine. It was a trip he'd been making for many years. But in addition to the dozens of media outlets that covered his every move that spring, there...
So Here's What Really Happened When A Pair Of Philly Football Writers Got Into A Fight Today
The Internet has been buzzing about the brawl that occurred this afternoon between Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News and Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer, their respective newspapers' Eagles beat writers. The story first got out because of a tweet sent early this afternoon by Howard E...
The One Where We're Offered A Tape Of Two NFL Players Humping A Teenage Puerto Rican Prostitute (AUDIO VERSION)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy....
I Want Revenge On DirecTV
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Has Been Arrested
Police in London, Ontario, held a press conference this afternoon to announce the arrest of 26-year-old London resident Christopher Moorhouse for allegedly throwing a banana at Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers. The incident happened when Simmonds, one of the NHL's few black players, was at...
More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...
The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
The Additional Rules For How To Cheer Like A St. Louis Rams Fan
Your morning roundup for Sept. 28, the day we learned firewater was real. Video, which is a parody of this, via Joe Sports Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....