top Page 137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Half-Headed Man Takes World's Most Bizarre Mugshot
There's clearly something off with this man's skull. As the profile shot reveals, it's that he's missing most of it....
“My Pussy Is Like Steel!” And Other Things You Hear During Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
One "Worst Player In NFL History" Is Volcanically Pissed About Being A "Worst Player In NFL History"
Jeff Pearlman's massive list of football putridity has provoked an emotional reaction from Detroit Lions' safety, C.C. Brown, who was selected as the 90th worst player. He was not pleased with his ranking. In fact, he went completely berserk. ....
Brett Favre's Dong-Phone Number, Jenn Sterger Legal Updates, And Other Things Of Note
It's been relatively quiet on the sexting front, but there's some movement afoot that suggests the end to this saga is just beyond the phallus-shaped horizon....
Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
Michael Vick Will Bring Out The Smug Asshole In America
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
A Video Gallery Of Terrible Team Songs, Featuring Zubaz Pants, "Let's Get Metsmerized," And Much More
Previously, we looked at bad '80s team songs. They were bad, but our morbid curiosity was not fulfilled. We asked you to send us more. You did not disappoint. Here are more awful '80s team songs....
Remember, Michael Vick Was On <em>Pros Vs. Joes</em> Just Eight Months Ago
Last March, Mike Vick's option was picked up by the Philadelphia Eagles. Since the Birds still had Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb on the roster, the move was a puzzling one that appeared to be less a real commitment to a backup Wildcat specialist than a nice gesture by an organization seeking a littl...
When Is An 80-Point Fantasy Football Lead Unsafe? When Your Opponent Has Michael Vick
Reading other people's Fantasy Football stories are usually boring, but poor reader Scott S's running diary of his nut-punching loss thanks to last night's touchdown parade by The Best Football Player In The Universe Ever is quite enjoyable. Enjoy the misery....
The Bottom 100: The Worst Players In NFL History (Part 2)
You’ve seen Part 1. Read on for the rest of the worst. Share your own list at #theworstever....
For Sale: The Laptop Cam Newton Stole
According to an emailer named "A Person With Connections" the laptop that Auburn's quarterback whipping boy Cam Newton stole from that poor kid in Florida has been recovered and is now for sale on the Scuzz Money Market. Here's his pitch....
The Poop Mugshot Will Make You Happy
Nice to be back. Your letters:...
The Bottom 100: The Worst Players In NFL History (Part 1)
The NFL Network recently compiled a list of the 100 best players in NFL history, as selected by a blue-ribbon panel. This is not that list. Part 1 is below. Part 2 is here. Share your own list at #theworstever....
They Could Take Harvey Westmoreland's Beard But The Court Didn't Take Their Freedom
Remember good old Harvey Westmoreland, the Kentucky guy who lost his beard in a spat with friends over the price of a used riding mower? (Here are the details of the whole sordid Southern Style mess.)...
Heat Strokes, Game 10: Miami Teaches Its Pitiful Fans How To Cheer
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
It's That Time Of Year Again: Let's See Your SHOTY Nominations
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of telestrator dong. It's amazing that it's already time for Sportshuman Of The Year nominations, yet, here we are....
Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....
Here's Video Of Lou Holtz Dressing A Young Blonde Intern Down With Mean Words
Apparently, if you're not into sports, you're just jerking Lou Holtz around. That's what he said....
The One With Unintentional Racism At A Fast Food Joint
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....
Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)
Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything....