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It's That Time Of Year Again: Let's See Your SHOTY Nominations
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of telestrator dong. It's amazing that it's already time for Sportshuman Of The Year nominations, yet, here we are....

Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....

Here's Video Of Lou Holtz Dressing A Young Blonde Intern Down With Mean Words
Apparently, if you're not into sports, you're just jerking Lou Holtz around. That's what he said....

The One With Unintentional Racism At A Fast Food Joint
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)
Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything....

Are The Reporters Going After Cam Newton "Slave Catchers"?
That's the term Jason Whitlock used. It's upsetting lingo, but there's something there. What's the culpability of those exposing rule-breakers when the rules are unjust?...

Heat Strokes, Game 9: Rethinking The Big Three
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

BREAKING: No-Pants Guy In Vikings Organization Is Not Dennis Polian, Polian's Attorney Says
We have it on good authority that the individual above with the spooky glare and the compression shorts is NOT Dennis Polian. Here's why:...

The Confessions Of A Misery Voyeur: Your Guest Jamboroo
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Our own Katie Baker is filling in for him this week....

Pelle Lindbergh Died 25 Years Ago Today
There are sports deaths that sting in just about every city. Munson. Clemente. Piccolo. Bias. The whole Marshall football program. Well, today really stings Philadelphia, and Flyers fans in particular....

Let's Talk Rationally About The Theory That November's SI Kids Cover Is A Cleveland Diss
Rational people of the world, let's be rational together. This month's SI Kids' cover was a harmless rendering of Miami's Big Three as the Three Musketeers, not a malicious stab at the Cleveland Cavaliers and their preteen fan base....

A Very Special Edition Of The Funbag: Your Questions, Answered By A Woman!
Good afternoon! I'm taking a brief break from lady-wrangling over at Jezebel so that I may have the pleasure of filling in for Drew today. Because while his funbags are considerable, mine are better....

Heat Strokes, Game 8: The Haters' Wet Dream
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

My Uncomfortable Encounter With An Angry Joe Morgan
In 2005, I wrote a story for SF Weekly about the now-unemployed Joe Morgan, who at the time was leading a proudly ignorant rearguard action against Michael Lewis's Moneyball. Joe and I met one Sunday before a Giants game and chatted for a while about the book (which he hadn't read). Joe got a little...

Young Philip Rivers Did Not Make Funny Faces, Apparently Wanted To Play For The Bears
"I discovered I went to elementary school with Phillip [sic] Rivers (he's 2 years older)," wrote commenter Gottliebs Cards. "If anyone is interested I'll scan some pics." Interested? You bet your ass we're mildly kind of halfway interested....

The Woozy, Loogie-Hocking Aftermath Of The New York City Marathon: A Video
Finishing a marathon is an amazing accomplishment. It is also, as that David Fleming story reminded us, a rather dehumanizing and soul-crushing endeavor. As far as we know, the New York City Marathon was poop-free this year, but wobble-free? Not at all....

Readers: Send Us The Awkward Team Photos From Your Youth
We don't mean this. We mean something more like this. Think Awkward Family Photos, but with children grimacing behind a soccer ball. Or vomiting on their teammates. Our very own Daulerio claims his mother once stuck him in an Indian headdress for a team photo, for reasons beyond comprehension. What ...

A Children's Treasury Of Wade Phillips Looking Befuddled On The Sideline
If you're a believer in body language, the Wade Phillips era was doomed from the start. Here's a walk down memory lane of some of Wade's greatest hits: covering his face, looking forlorn, and generally looking befuddled on the sideline....

Heat Strokes, Games 6 & 7: The Shape Of Pizazz To Come
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...