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Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....

The Awkward Team Photos Of Our Awkward Youth (And One Dog): A Gallery
We asked for photos of America's uncomfortably posed youth athletes, and you delivered. Please enjoy....

Happy Thanksgiving, You Turkey-Banging Assholes!
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....

Heat Strokes, Games 12-14: The Deathly Hallows
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Your 2010 Deadspin Sports Human Of The Year Nominees Are...
A cavalcade of athletes gone astray from their moral core, rambunctiously violent media personalities, accidental female empowerers, and a mysterious man in a mask. See them all below....

“Help! I Keep Dreaming About Banging My Mom!”
Hey, before we get to the letters, BRAD CHILDRESS WAS FIRED YESTERDAY! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! SO LONG, CUNTGROPER! We're finally rid of you, YOU BALD ASSHOLE! Now my beloved Vikings can finally get around to drafting the wrong quarterback, losing key free agents, becoming as tightfisted as the Bills, and...

Devils' Advocate: A New Feature About Duke Basketball And Why You Should Like It
Every week, this recent Duke graduate will offer you a new reason not to hate the Duke Blue Devils, the bestest basketball team in the land. You are free to disagree....

High School Football Brawl In West Virginia Gets Really Out Of Hand
South Charleston High School vs. Hurricane. Benches cleared, haymakers were thrown, pepper spray was sprayed. Then the Ducky Boys showed up with bike chains and car antennas and things really went to shit. [WOWK]...

Thanksgiving Stuffing: We Need Your High School Reunion And Black Friday Horror Stories
Since the end of this week will be pretty much kickoff Party Time In America, please help us fill your off-days with something good. You could win prizes and shit!...

Please Help Us Track Down Lisa Ripi, The "Jets' Muscle" In The Favre Massage Incident
Lisa Ripi is a personal trainer/acupuncturist who works, or worked, for the New York Jets. According to sources, she oversaw the massage therapists at Jets camp in 2008. She knew about Favre's texts, we're told, and urged the therapists to do nothing....

John Salley Story Corner: Boss Hogg Chases Me Out Of A Jacuzzi
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Our hero has a Dukes of Hazzard moment....

People Flock To Online Porn During NFL Bye Weeks. Fact.
Bye weeks bring NFL players some rest. They also offer porn sites tens of thousands of NFL fans with six or more hours for their indiscriminate use. And oh, the things they do with them....

Half-Headed Man Takes World's Most Bizarre Mugshot
There's clearly something off with this man's skull. As the profile shot reveals, it's that he's missing most of it....

“My Pussy Is Like Steel!” And Other Things You Hear During Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

One "Worst Player In NFL History" Is Volcanically Pissed About Being A "Worst Player In NFL History"
Jeff Pearlman's massive list of football putridity has provoked an emotional reaction from Detroit Lions' safety, C.C. Brown, who was selected as the 90th worst player. He was not pleased with his ranking. In fact, he went completely berserk. ....

Brett Favre's Dong-Phone Number, Jenn Sterger Legal Updates, And Other Things Of Note
It's been relatively quiet on the sexting front, but there's some movement afoot that suggests the end to this saga is just beyond the phallus-shaped horizon....

Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Michael Vick Will Bring Out The Smug Asshole In America
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

A Video Gallery Of Terrible Team Songs, Featuring Zubaz Pants, "Let's Get Metsmerized," And Much More
Previously, we looked at bad '80s team songs. They were bad, but our morbid curiosity was not fulfilled. We asked you to send us more. You did not disappoint. Here are more awful '80s team songs....