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At-Bat Music Is Ripe For A Prank
Adam LaRoche made sure the PA system played "It's Raining Men" the first two times Kelly Johnson stepped to the plate. This will feature prominently in season ticket sales pitches, since it's more fun than any actual baseball in Arizona....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Nightmare Ant
After a two-year hiatus from our Hall of Fame nominating rolls, Nightmare Ant has returned. But really, Nightmare Ant will never really go away. Hell, Christopher Nolan just made a movie about him....

Here Are Some Photos Of Marcus Jordan's $35,000 Night In Las Vegas
As you probably know, Marcus Jordan, spawn of Michael, spent an absurd amount of money last weekend at a Las Vegas nightclub. Some guy's ex-girlfriend was there, and he gave us a few pictures....

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

Redesign The NFL's Terrible Concussion Poster And Win Some Money
It was a noble gesture to put up this poster in NFL locker rooms, but look at it: It's boring, it's wordy, and players will never pay attention. If you can do better, there's a cash prize in it for you....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Sean Salisbury
Now that his lawsuit against Deadspin and Daulerio has finally been dropped, allow me to take this opportunity to finally speak about the issues between this Website and the one-time thespian. So, [clears throat] ......

Let's All Watch <em>Around The Horn</em> Uncomfortably Discuss The Mariotti Mess
Around The Horn returned from its fortuitously timed hiatus today to finally discuss Mariotti the best way they know: with a timer and a scoring system, and by barking like trained seals....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Owen Hart
Every week or so, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Owen Hart, who fell to his death in 1999 during a WWE pay-per-view event....

<em>Washington Post</em> Editor None Too Happy With Mike Wise's Roethlisberger Stunt
Wise made up some news this morning. Just hours later he bragged about how he can get people to print anything, and how he increased his Twitter followers. His bosses sent out a little note, warning him to cut that shit out....

Intern Horrors: The Worst <em>Entourage</em> Subplot Of All Time
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns sound off about horrible bosses and bosses sound off about horrible interns. Today: ice cream runs in Tinseltown, clogging toilets in Vegas, and more. Let's do it to it. Sic'd and sick....

UFC 118: Boxing's Fat Fool Goes Down, And UFC's Juggernaut Rolls On, Now With Tits And Air Cannons
BOSTON — The UFC's first trip to Boston played pretty much to script: Fans were boozy, violent, excellent; the sound system blasted House of Pain and Dropkick Murphys; and James Toney's reputation as the fat Fool of boxing remained intact, even if his head did not....

No, We Will Not Pay $1,500 For Brandon Spikes's Alleged Chatroulette Sex Tape
Some things are worth digging into our sack of scuzz money. The Patriots' second-round draft pick getting pleasured and broadcasting it to random strangers is not one of them....

Hot And Hard: Deadspin’s 2010 U.S. Open Preview
Deadspin chief tennis correspondent and resident deucebag Dylan Stableford will be covering the U.S. Open throughout the fortnight. Here are some key questions heading into the tennis year's last — and best — Grand Slam....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Athlete Dong
Of all the things I thought Deadspin would end up being known for, back in September 2005, "pictures of the typically large penises of professional athletes" would have not been high on the list. But art evolves, you know?...

UFC 118: The Wit And Wisdom Of James Toney, MMA's New Big Swinging Freak Show
James Toney may get thumped tonight by Randy Couture at UFC 118, but he's already triumphed in the promotional battle in customary fashion — by sounding like a drunk Clubber Lang practicing the dozens inside a dumpster....

John Salley Story Corner: The Time Some Boston Mobsters Asked Me For Inside Info
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: getting solicited for gambling tips by various mafiosi....

Tony La Russa Isn't Lying About Being Apolitical. That's The Problem.
Tony La Russa and I have the same literary agent. This might tell you all you need to know about the state of literature, but nonetheless, it's true. When Are We Winning? was in galleys, my agent sent La Russa a copy....

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Hooker Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Airbag Prank Nearly Launches Man Through Ceiling
Get a bunch of Russians together, ply them with alcohol, and it's only a matter of time before this happens. Interestingly, this is a perfect re-creation of the later years of the Soviet Space Program....

A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....