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USA Swimming's Monstrous Coaches And The "Culture of Sexual Misconduct"
An investigative report on last night's 20/20 presented startling stories of young swimmers sexually abused, secretly videotaped, and even impregnated by monstrous coaches. Has USA Swimming created a unique "culture of sexual misconduct," as ABC News would have you believe?...

Chicago Has A History Of Stadium Bathroom Stall Sex
John Kass's harrowing tale of Dr. Nemeth and his son—who had their Sox Opening Day ruined by a couple in Windy City heat—prompted one reader to send along his video of a post-coital couple at Wrigley from 2007....

Tailpipe: "Like A Warrior In Battle. Hubba Hubba."
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Shameless Couple Having Bathroom Sex Tarnishes Another Sports Stadium
Since one horny couple decided to sully Cowboys Stadium with their filthy, filthy bathroom sex last September, there haven't been many other drive-by humping incidents ruining sporting events. Until now. The Chicago Tribune's John Kass has the terrifying story....

Villanova Pregnancy Hoax Email Results In Confusion, Death Threats
Yesterday, in an attempt to debunk the Fisher-Reynolds pregnancy melodrama rumor that spread via email for the past couple weeks, it appears I became the Big East's Furman Bisher instead. To clarify: It's a hoax. Like this. And this....

A Roundup Of Zombie Earl Woods Commercial Parodies (LOTS MORE UPDATES)
After the debut of Tiger's new commercial, it was inevitable that the spot would be parodied over and over again, with varying levels of success. Here are a bunch of the good ones....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Chris Kanyon
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Chris Kanyon, who was found dead Friday in his Queens, New York, apartment after an apparent suicide....

Praying For Car Accidents Is OK!
Big doings here at the funbag. Next week we'll be doing a bonus audio version of the funbag (Don't worry, the two regular ones will still run) with a very, very special Deadcast guest. So send in only your finest retarded questions about poop, boners, and snacking if you want in. Now, your letters....

Did Tiki Barber Sleep In His Girlfriend's Dorm Room? (And Other Important Questions)
The New York Post did some more homework on Tiki Barber and his 23-year-old lady friend by interviewing everyone who has ever known, lived with or served the duo pasta. The question now is who you choose to believe?...

The Deadspin Field Guide To Tiki's And Tiger's Barely Legal Liaisons
Two superstars, both caught with (much) younger women. This looks bad, but it's possible for Tiki Barber and Tiger Woods to minimize the damage. We offer some helpful dos and don'ts for everyone on how to conduct their Nabokovian affairs....

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

Tiger's New Lady, Raychel Coudriet, In Photos. Maybe.
According to this website, these may be photos of Tiger's latest young lassie to come forward. Also, The Post has fun texts from Tiger to her: "Are you touching yourself? I want to fuck you."...

Tiger Woods Also Made Sweet, Sweet Love To His Winsome 21-Year-Old Neighbor, National Enquirer Says
I assume this wasn't the news Tiger received via SMS yesterday. And now there's a race to see who can find a Facebook photo of young Raychel Coudriet the fastest. We'll update when that happens.[Radaronline]...

The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....

NYC Subway Attacked By Peppy Oregon Students Humming Rick Astley Tune
Yes, the random hobo doo-wop groups shaking bags of change in your face in the subway are a little annoying, but this? I think I'd clap for this....

When Is This Pussy Gonna Try Coaching Dudes?
It's been in the 80s here in DC this week, which means this is the first time this year I've been able to bust out the shorts. And when you bust out the shorts, that means it is, once again, open season on bareball nut scratching. All winter long, I gotta scratch my nuts by digging into my jeans. NO...

Today In <em>Sportscenter</em> Fashion: Now Showing — Hannah And Her Sisters
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm....

Hitler Makofane Demands You Listen To The Name Of The Year Deadcast
People, there is a huge difference between merely looking at your 2010 Name of the Year ballot, and saying those names out loud. And this special Deadcast will prove it. (Listen here, iTunes here.)...

Last Night's Winner: Butler Haters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Duke Blue Devils, who captured the hearts of basketball fans world-wide by finally stopping the merciless hoops juggernaut known as Butler....

Indy Newspaper, Butler Cheerleader Botch Their "Victory" Celebrations
The Indianapolis Star website may have jumped the gun slightly on their Final Four recap. At least they had the excuse of not yet knowing the outcome. One confused Butler cheerleader was not as fortunate....