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A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
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Joe Paterno And Dean Smith, Going Out On Their Own, Very Different Terms
Observations that Paterno's health — body and mind — have declined noticeably should be heartbreaking. So why aren't we as sad about it as we ought to be?...

"'Brett Favre Once Sent Me Cock Shots": Not A Love Story
Here’s another reason Brett Favre should stay retired this time: Turns out The Daily Line’s Jenn Sterger has kept a ridiculously disturbing (but HILARIOUS) secret about her interactions with The Gunslinger while they were both part of the Jets organization....

Hilariously Gross Brett Favre News To Surface Soon
And it has nothing to do with his alleged retirement this time around. No, no — it turns out the heroic Gunslinger of yore has a little scoundrel in him, too. But you must wait, mongrels....

In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...

Window On The NCAA Slams Shut, After Blogger Is Outed As Compliance Officer
For the better part of a year, the Bylaw Blog gave a look inside the NCAA's arcane rules for punishing programs. Two weeks ago, the anonymous author was revealed as a D-I school's compliance officer, and promptly shut it down....

The Mysterious Trouble With Jason Whitlock
Despite the fact that he hasn't published a column since May 26, the KC Star said today via phone that their oversized noisemaker, Jason Whitlock, is still currently on staff. He's just on extended vacation. But, still, something's amiss....

Andre Ethier Gets Ridiculous Kobe Bryant Treatment From <em>LAT Magazine</em> — You Know The Drill
In an interview and photo shoot with LA Times Magazine, who've got this thing down, the Dodgers' Andre Ethier reveals himself to live in Hollywood and be a foppish dandy....

Here's Karen Sypher, Seconds Away From Blowing Her Lawyer
Sypher's former lawyer Dana Kolter testified that they had an "intimate relationship" before he threatened to sue Rick Pitino as part of her extortion plan. Jurors were then shown photographs of Sypher and Kolter engaging in oral sex....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When UGA Frat Boys Attack (Over a $105 Tailgate-Parking Bill)
Some scene setting: The AEPi chapter at the University of Georgia recently notified alumni that the cost of tailgating at the bros' house was going up....

Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...

The Birth And Death Of Big Air
ESPN's latest 30 for 30 documentary about BMX trailblazer Mat Hoffman may have been a well-timed PR play for the Summer X Games, but it was also a bone-crunching reminder of the deadly brutality of extreme obsession....

Private Stache: John-John And The Say Hey Kid Share A Tender Moment
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

John Salley Story Corner: "Strap It Up And No Kissing"
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: why you shouldn't lip-kiss NBA groupies....

The Scapegoating Of Arash Markazi
I suppose ESPN's explanation here is reasonable, but is it any less damning than all those black-helicopter theories floating around for the WWL to say, in essence, "Our glimpses into the lives of famous people must be authorized"?...

ESPN Killed That LeBron Story Because Reporter "Did Not Properly Identify Himself" (UPDATES)
ESPN now says in a statement that Arash Markazi's LeBacchanalia story was pulled because "Arash did not ... clearly state his intentions to write a story." Full statements are below, as is Rob King's explanation for how the story was mistakenly published....

Can Black Men Be Douchebags? Oh, Yes
I ate corn on the cob the other night. I had to shuck it before I could wrap it with butter in foil and throw it in the grill. I can't for the life of me shuck an ear of corn and get ALL the corn strings off. It's fucking impossible. If anyone has tips to rid the world of corn strings, I'm all ears....

Scenes From LeBron's Too-Hot-For-ESPN Weekend In Vegas
A reader sends along these photos from the LeBacchanalia in Vegas. No naked ladies, but there is a man floating away to some casual Friday in the sky, and everyone seems to teeter precariously on the verge of fist-bumping everyone else....