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A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

Black Friday Request: High School Reunion Horror Stories
So as most of you may know, this is shortened week for most Americans so we can all solemnly commemorate the death of turkeys and indigenous people at the hands of white men wearing buckles on their hats....

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Ten Questions To Ask A Woman Before You Propose To Her
Okay, so we tackled the ladies' end of this topic last week. I think it's only fair we flip the script....

Horndog Hero David Berson Rumored Leaving ESPN (Kissing Suzy Update)
Bristol justice is swift. Programming VP David Berson, known around these parts as the man who was engaged in a long-time affair with Kate Lacey, is apparently leaving ESPN. This may or may not be related to his horndoggedness....

From The Desk Of George Bodenheimer: "Class, Dignity And Integrity"
Hey, look! It's another memo from ESPN President George Bodenheimer! And today he wants to tell his employees about all the exciting things his company is doing to slow its steady transformation into Connecticut's answer to Gomorrah....

Jay Mariotti Tossed From Chicago Bar After Scuffle With Patron Over Cell Phone Pic?
We're waiting for further confirmation on this story, but according to multiple sources, Jay Mariotti was tossed from Chicago'sUnderground Night Club(fixed) last night after he went ballistic on a guy who snapped a picture of him. Haters smell blood....

The Basement Tapes: A Compendium Of Sportswriters' Hacky Jokes About Bloggers
Woody Paige, the orange person always yelling on your television set, recently disagreed with someone on the Internet. He then made a joke suggesting that the blogger still lives in his mother's house. Have you heard this one?...

Iraqis Now Using Favre-Based Warfare
Iraqi militants have resorted to the lowest sort of psychological tactics in an attempt to break down our soldiers: bringing up Brett Favre....

The Derek-Jeter-Hits-The-Beach-With-A-Starlet Photos Will Make You Miserable
Our Captain is off on his annual off-season jaunt to a humid location with a young, bikini-clad actress-person whom he will most likely never settle down with and, unfortunately for him, there was a slimy photog in the palm tree....

Pre-Thanksgiving, Coke Pinkies And Nazi Dinosaurs. Jamboroo, Week 11
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Decade Retrospective: 2000
We commence the year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2000, back when there were rocket packs, back when we all thought O.J. Simpson was just the smiling guy from the Hertz commercials. Simple times....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, Marijuana, Ectasy and Alcohol. C-c-c-c-cocaine…
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering cocaine, button down shirts, and dating....

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....

Belichick Was Right
I enjoy a national shanking of Bill Belichick as much as anyone, but I'm with Neon here: Belichick, who has won three Super Bowls treating football the way an actuary treats a term life policy, made the smart call yesterday....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: “Fifty Hot Ones Comin’ At Ya!”
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

Decade Retrospective: Who Had An Awful Decade?
As the resident historian around these parts, I'll be doing the decade retrospectives for the next month or so. We'll go year-by-year soon, but for now, we're looking at people and concepts who had a bad decade....

Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick....
