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The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....

L. Jon Wertheim Tells The Ultimate ‘Sheed/Isaiah Rider Story
We got two excellent stories out of this week's Deadcast guest: Sports Illustrated writer L. Jon Wertheim....

Keep Your Head In The Game At All Times, Even When It's Split Open
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

Ten Humans, Or Parts Thereof
Programming note: Our beloved Emeritus is traveling this week. Whether it's by air or through space and time, he refused to confirm. In his place, I will be presenting this week's Ten Humans. Sort of....

See You On Down That Road, Redux
And now a special farewell to Rick Chandler from Emeritus, William F. Leitch....

So Long, And Thanks For All The Leather
It was in Woody Allen's Love and Death where the drill sergeant scolds Boris and asks if he wants a dishonorable discharge, to which Boris replies: "Yes sir, either that or a furlough."...

Surprisingly, No Deaths Or Snapped Limbs In 1993 Replay Game
The players, now all in their 30s, emerged relatively unscathed after Sunday's Replay Rivalry Game between Phillipsburg and Easton high schools. Oh, and Eli Manning got his first Gatorade bath....

OK, Just How Did Michael Crabtree Slip To No. 10 In The Draft?
As if from a Dickens novel, the 49ers found Michael Crabtree in a basket on their porch on Saturday with a note pinned to his blanket: One receiver, courtesy of Mr. Al Davis, Esq....

Citi Field Security Cracks Down On Sprawling Negativity
Apparently the Citi Field security goons are over-sensitive this year. Two times last week they took away signs from fans. First was the K's controversy. Then there's this incident....

All Right Screw It, Now It's An NFL Draft Live Blog
The post-to-post format is groovy but just a little taxing. So let's get down to the live blog tomfoolery everyone knows and/or loves. Refresh, relax, and remember Bea Arthur for who she was....

T-R-D-E! Trade! Trade! Trade!
The Browns were all "hey, let's pick someone" and the Jets were all "um, no, how bout we draft?" and the Browns were all "whoa" and the Jets were all "yay, Sanchez!"...

Old Guys Reenact High School Football Game To Settle Unholy 1993 Tie
It's all been done before in the film Best of Times, but never in real life have members of rival high school football teams met more than a decade later to decide ultimate bragging rights....

The One With Competitive Fanny Coughs And Belichick's Casual Wear
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....

The Myth Of Lenny Dykstra Completely Unravels
ESPN's Mike Fish punctures the final holes into Lenny Dykstra's supposed financial genius with swift, purposeful blows. Hopefully, this is the last we'll hear about Dykstra for a long, long time....

Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....

You're Just Making Carlie Christine More Famous
The Sacramento area cheerleading coach who was ratted out by members of her squad and fired for posing nude in Playboy has been named that magazine's Cyber Girl of the Month. Vindication!...

Which Team's Fans Have The Most Trouble With Erectile Dysfunction?
This is a new weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week. It might or might not work. But here it is....

The Continuing Sports Media Evolution Of Condi Rice
According to sources at HBO, at a production meeting last week, staffers were informed that former Sec. Of State Condoleezza Rice's agent had inquired about her joining Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" reporting team....

On Juiced Balls and Homer-Happy Yankee Stadium
Earlier today, Ryan Garko sent an A.J. Burnett fastball in the direction of Bear Mountain, the 19th homer in four games at the giant ATM known as Yankee Stadium. Is this "Coors Field East"?...