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Dolphins Not Liable For Future Damages, So You Know
We don't mean to imply that the Miami Dolphins are covering their tailfeathers a bit with Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, whom they just signed to a free agent contract, but here's what was included in the official press release about the signing....

Somehow ... The Series Is TIED?
As we wait for Mark Cuban to sleep off what is almost certainly an enormous (and well-earned) hangover, we turn our morning attentions to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (No offense to the Mavericks, of course; we are one step closer to the sublime possibility of David Stern handing the ...

A Lovely Way To Spend Mother's Day
Todd Munson is a Deadspin reader who lives in Los Angeles and — like all good sons — went home to see his mother yesterday, in Omaha, Neb. When he was walking down Dodge Street, the main Omaha drag, he noticed the word "WHORE" on a sign hanging from the pedestrian bridge just above....

Stop Snooping Into Matt Leinart's Life
Ah, Matt, Matt, Matt. What ever are we going to do with you? We know that life as a member of the Buzzsaw seems scary right now, that it feels like it's your last summer before you have to go back to boarding school .... but seriously, now....

And Here's Your Rick Sutcliffe Video
We asked for it, and you provided it: The complete video of Rick Sutcliffe's drunken meltdown on the Padres' telecast Wednesday night. Whoever posted the video was kind enough, in the middle of the video, to give us closeups of the announcers' faces, particularly play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian, wh...

Rick Sutcliffe ... Bombed!
Earlier today, we wondered why Bill Murray was hanging out in San Diego while his Cubs were in San Francisco. We now have our answer: He was getting blasted with Rick Sutcliffe....

Kornheisers On A Plane
One of the most common questions we received yesterday, in the wake of the release of the 2006 NFL schedule, was: How's new MNF broadcaster Tony Kornheiser going to get out to Washington for the two games in Seattle? The notoriously airplane-phobic (and Cruiser-less) "PTI" host seemed to be in a s...

The Knicks Are Willing To Try Anything
When we interviewed Sam Walker, author of Fantasyland and columnist for The Wall Street Journal a while back, he spoke at length about the prevalence of fantasy baseball and the changing face of the game. We let the guy expound for a while, and expound he did. And at the end of the interview, when a...

Duke Lacrosse Case Somehow Gets Uglier
If you were wondering if the Duke lacrosse case could possibly be anymore disturbing than it already is, the answer is a depressing, horrifying "yes."...

Rioting Over Women's Basketball
We don't mean to imply that those who riot after sporting events are less about celebration and more about "hey, let's set some shit on fire," but last night, after the Maryland women's basketball team won the national championship in overtime over Duke, Maryland's "fans" started a riot. Over a wo...

Roger Clemens' Multinational Laundry
Yesterday, perpetual retiree Roger Clemens was in Houston to receive his National League Championship Ring. As usual, Clemens was asked about his plans for this season, whether he'll retire, whether he'll play, who he would play for, so on, ad nauseum. But then the conversation took a bizarre, and...

It's Opening Day. Commence Wistful Laments For Days Of Yore
It's one of everyone's favorite days of the year: The day when George Will pulls a hamstring trying to come up with synonyms for "grass," "sunshine" and "purity." It's opening day! The first game of the day is at that baseball mecca Shea Stadium, with the Mets hosting the Washington Nationals. First...

It's A Final Four Pants Party
Obviously, the best story at this weekend's Final Four in Indianapolis is George Mason, but we've found the best story of that best story: It turns out that until this weekend, the George Mason fight song had no lyrics. Seriously; they had to write a whole batch just because the NCAA was asking fo...

The Day The Music Died
Each generation has its cultural touchstones, those moments when everyone remembers where they were, at that specific moment, from that second until the day that they die. Late at night, at a dinner party or social function, someone will mention the event, and the party will hush, and recollections ...

Why Do We Consider The NFL Fun Again?
Anyone who watched the NFL last season ended up captivated by two charismatic, outsized personalities: Clinton Portis and Chad Johnson. Every week, each did something creative, original and undeniably fun; we found ourselves rooting for their on-field exploits much more than we would have otherwis...

George Brett's Bloopers And Practical Jokes
Baseball players, you see, they're pranksters. Whether it's the hot foot, the rookie hazing or just a cream pie in the face during a television interview, those ballplayers, they like to fool around. Spend six months out of the year with the same 24 guys, hey, what's a little tomfoolery from time ...

Roger Clemens Hates His Crotch
You might think that Peter King's gruesome description of the preparations he took to prepare for his colonoscopy would be the most disturbing thing you'd read all day. It would seem like a good bet; Peter, we love the freedom you have online, but there is such a thing as decorum and good will to ...

George Mason's Win, From The Nosebleeds
From the guy who brought you that gruesome video of Iowa fans reacting to Northwestern State's victory over them in the first round comes an even better video: Footage from the George Mason student section as the final seconds ticked off the clock yesterday....

George Mason Makes The World A Better Place
Obviously, we'll be talking about this all week, but we'd just like to start off by saying a world in which George Mason can beat Michigan State, North Carolina and Connecticut in the span of a week is a world we feel newly invigorated about living in....