tua Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wily Mo Pena Spits A Loogie Into His Helmet, Hits Two-Run Walkoff
Via Awful Announcing, here's Baseball MLB Tonight's involved slo-mo breakdown of Willy Mo Pena's pre-game-winning-homerun ritual: he sends a gob of spit and possibly other substances in his helmet, and then he wears the helmet. Babe might be proud. Babe also might be kind of grossed out....
RIP Clarence Clemons
"Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock's most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69." [New York Times]...
When And How The Canucks Lost The Series
Patrice Bergeron's shorthanded goal made it 3-0 Boston in the waning moments of the second. For all intents and purposes, it was an insurmountable lead and was the moment the Cup engravers could start checking their spelling. But it was also a microcosm of so many things that swung the series for ...
This Is One Way To Get Out Of Your Impending Wedding
To tell the Tale of Topless, Stimulant-Riddled, About-To-Be-Married "Sasha S," not much more beyond the "Drugged-up bodybuilder causes road carnage" headline is necessary. Well, other than the kicker:...
Bear Plays Tennis
The Deadspin tips line received an email today with this subject: Bear Playing Tennis. It was a thrilling possibility. A bear playing tennis? You just don't see that everyday. We were prepared to make a lot of half-assed rapture jokes about it....
By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....
Before Returning To Lockout Mode, Every NFL Franchise Decided Against Drafting A Bone-Cancer Survivor
Your morning roundup for May 1, the day after Seth Meyers said Weekend Update stuff to people's faces....
More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....
Texas HS Baseball Players Charged In Chicken Decapitations
Western Hills High School's baseball team is 7-15 on the season. That's not a very good record. "Change the atmosphere in the clubhouse," old-timey baseball men would say. The team needs some clutch, some grit, some hustle....
Elizabeth Taylor, As Remembered By Fake Robert Evans
In light of the recent passing of Hollywood screen icon Liz Taylor, we asked legendary Hollywood producer and Jamboroo contributor Robert Evans to join us to share some of his fondest memories of the actress. Take it away, Mr. Evans....
Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....
Tonight's NHL 24/7 Premiere: "You'll Have To Hide The Kids"
Tonight is the premiere of HBO's straightforwardly-titled series 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic. Want to know exactly which expletives Bruce Boudreau spat at his Caps during their 7-0 loss to the Rangers on Sunday? Now you will....
British Figure Skater Says He Isn't Leaving TV Show For Career In Gay Porn
A British newspaper reported that Dancing on Ice "hunk" Stuart Widdall will be taking his talents away from the British television show and giving them to the world of "hardcore gay porn."...
Stuart Scott's Unfortunately Timed And Therefore Highly Ironic F-Bomb Gaffe
Stu Scott was hyping an upcoming replay of Derek Anderson's meltdown last night when, in describing the cough button that "bleeps" out curse words on TV, Scott accidentally used a curse word on TV....
NBA Players, In Science-y Cartoon Form
Here's what NBA players look like with their statistics visually translated to physical characteristics. Click around for a minute, you'll be there an hour. [Hoopism]...
Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...
Stories That Don't Suck: David Halberstam On Maurice Lucas And The Powers That Be Scared Shitless
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Maurice Lucas, menacing the whistle right out of a ref's mouth....
Eddie Belfour's Mask Denies Responsibility For <em>Hell Freezes Over</em>
This slideshow about goalie masks is surprisingly educational! Sample: "So resonant was this mask that it inspired the punk band Chixdiggit's 1996 paean to lost love, "(I Feel Like) Gerry Cheevers (I Got Stitch Marks on My Heart)." [NYT]...
Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....
Brandon Jennings Is Also Going To Get Beat Up On The First Day Of School
So now the kids are recontextualizing Raiders apparel. Anyone care to explain this? [Twitter]...