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This Evening: Grandma Says Fu*k The Colts
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 24, the day the odometer flipped to one million. Photo via Lyle L. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Sean McDonough On Oliver Luck: "What An Idiot"
This happened Saturday night during a commercial break in Stanford's blowout win over Washington, which was broadcast on ABC/ESPN. McDonough, the play-by-play man, is a Syracuse grad, and Syracuse had beaten the shit out of West Virginia the night before. Just as the cameras found Oliver Luck in t...

Not The Bees!
A sun-blocking cloud of 25 million bees shut down a Utah highway after a bee-laden semi overturned. Bees....

High School Running Back Believes He Can Fly
Kimlon "K.J." Dillon is a senior running back and safety at Apopka High in Florida. He's also a star hurdler on the school's track team, so he never really has to run those final five yards for a touchdown if he doesn't feel like it....

Old Guy Who Finished Marathon Is Too Old To Prove How Old He Is
Fauja Singh was thought to be the first centenarian to complete a marathon. But Guinness World Records has a problem: "Singh's British passport shows his date of birth as April 1, 1911. A letter from Indian government officials states that birth records were not kept in 1911." [New York Times]...

An Idaho-Based Pig Farmer Named Lindy Hinkleman Has Won $300,000 Playing Fantasy Baseball The Past Three Years
And really, what more is there to know than that? You're doing life wrong. [NYT]...

You're Welcome To Come Watch Football Or Baseball Tonight With Us
We've had a couple of these in the last few weeks, and we're having another one again tonight. So if you're in New York and you're looking to hang out with us to watch the Ravens-Jaguars game, come meet up. (Though if enough of you would rather watch Game 5 of the World Series, we'll do that instea...

How Would Isiah Thomas Solve The Lockout? He's Glad You Asked
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Isiah, who's driven into the ground everything he's ever touched, has advice for both owner ...

Seven Articles Of Faith As Regards Tim Tebow
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Mario Balotelli: Spokesman For Firework Safety
Man City's mercurial striker had one hell of a weekend. He set his rented $4.8 million house on fire after setting off fireworks in the bathroom. He scored the first two goals in a 6-1 thrashing of second place Manchester United at Old Trafford, Sir Alex's "worst ever" defeat. He drove through Manch...

You Can Finally Get In Tim Tebow's Pants
The pants in which Tim Tebow threw his first NFL touchdown are up for grabs (and more than $5,000) on eBay: "Throughout the pants there are multiple hit marks, stains, and tears." [eBay, via Rovell]...

Breaking: Delonte West Is Currently Pushing His Broken-Down Ford Bronco To The Gas Station
May the resumption of basketball never trouble the childlike glee with which Delonte West goes about his business. After spending $3,000 on a 1994 white Ford Bronco ("OJ Style"), West's new purchase broke down before he could even get it inspected. He's now pushing it down the road, and it looks lik...

Scenes From The Arizona Fall League: Lizards Go Down Easier With Mountain Dew
Baseball is boring. Being a pitcher is worse. Being a reliever on an Arizona Fall League team with a 20-man bullpen leaves you with so much free time, you're probably insane if you don't spend your afternoons swallowing geckos....

All Of Sports Media Is Moving To Connecticut
Oh, Bertram, this is just wretched. The help tells me that something called "NBC Sports" is moving all of its talent, and its support staff, three hundred people, to Stamford. In our state, Bertram! Piercing Fairfield county! The horror! Think of the riffraff—Brian Engblom, Peter King, Darren Rovell...

A Provocation: My Al Davis Story
The following is republished with permission from the author's blog, Bluenatic.com....

Brandon Jennings Needs A Refresher In Oblate Spheroids And Lockout Logic
If there was one thing that my high school science teachers taught me, it was that I should immediately lose any delusions about ever becoming a doctor, or doing anything related to memorization or numbers or earth science ever—and I thank them for that. But I think somewhere along the way, I did le...

George W. Bush Is A Face In The Crowd
The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical....

Seven-Time Ohio Columnist Of The Year Wonders If Maybe Students Didn't Enjoy Being Sexed By Their Teacher
Paul Daugherty, in addition to having a regular gig on SI.com, has been a sports columnist at the Cincinnati Enquirer for a long, long time. So long that they've given him a daily "write about whatever shit you want to" column, which appears to run with minimal editing....

Rob Gronkowski's Porn Star Ladyfriend Says She Humped Dan Uggla And Assorted Married Athletes
Bibi Jones, noted buddy of Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, and star of such acclaimed flicks as The Crib and Babysitters 2, appeared on the Toucher and Rich Show today to tell her tales....

Coach Extraordinaire Marty Schottenheimer Finally Captures That Elusive Title
"Aaron Rouse returned one of his three interceptions 46 yards for a touchdown to help the Virginia Destroyers win the United Football League championship game, 17-3 over the Las Vegas Locomotives on Friday night. ... The Destroyers gave coach Marty Schottenheimer his first pro title."...