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What Happened On The Night Josh Hamilton Had A Relapse, (Alleged) Bathroom Sex? One Eyewitness Account
We got an email this afternoon from a man who says he was at the same Dallas bar as Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton on the night Hamilton had a relapse and (allegedly) bathroom sex. Here's our source's version of events:...

Toilet Use In NYC Jumped 13 Percent In The Immediate Aftermath Of The Super Bowl
It wasn't enough to overwhelm the sewage system, but according to the city's Department of Environmental Protection, the surge caused the water level at a nearby reservoir to drop by two inches. Which means a lot of fans were holding much more than just their breath....

Randy Shannon Used To Sleep In Cortez Kennedy's Dorm Room To Keep Him Out Of The Fridge
After juco transfer Cortez Kennedy tipped the scales at 370 his junior year, Randy Shannon, who had graduated the year before, was assigned to help him keep the weight down. Now that Kennedy is entering the NFL Hall of Fame, he's reminiscing about the little things that got him where he is today. On...

Jordan Jefferson Still Wonders Why LSU Didn't Call Some Different Plays In The BCS Title Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bubble screen! Bubble screen! Bubble screen!...

Watch Maurice Evans Run Away From The Chance To Be On The Jeremy Lin Poster
Yes, Knicks insta-sensation Jeremy Lin shook John Wall with a nasty crossover last night, on his way to a highlight dunk against the Wizards. But the true measure of Linsanity comes from Washington's Maurice Evans, who sees No. 17 coming, takes a tentative slide step toward stopping him, then chan...

Mets GM Sandy Alderson Is On Twitter, And He Is Funny
Look at that man up there. Does he look like a funny Twitter person to you? Probably not, right. He looks like the senior partner at your dad's accounting firm. He seems like he would have a really firm handshake. He looks like he would interview you for Harvard in the lobby of a local hotel and nod...

Ozzie Guillen Has Some Refreshing Opinions About The NBA
While he waits for the Miami Marlins to report to spring training, new manager Ozzie Guillen still has some time to take to Twitter to discuss the NBA. For instance, he is tired of hearing the constant criticism of LeBron James:...

Three Men Have Now Accused Wisconsin's Former Associate AD Of Sexual Misconduct
John Chadima had resigned in early January, and a subsequent report said it was because he allegedly grabbed the crotch of a subordinate during the football team's Rose Bowl trip. The subordinate, who turned out to be a student, did not wish to press charges, and neither did another accuser who cam...

How Dare Bill Belichick Golf Pebble Beach Just Four Days After Losing The Super Bowl
Nah, not really. That would be an absurd argument to make, just about as absurd as decreeing Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light can't go party in Indianapolis. It's a slippery slope. How many days after a big loss is it acceptable to have fun? Is a sedate sport like golf more palatable than dancing? How ...

The Beauty Of The Post-Coital Super Bowl Afterglow
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Photo illustration by Jim Cooke. Photo by Kzenon/Shutterstock....

Bill Simmons's Very First Visit To ESPN
We've been dipping into the Bill Simmons archive, a salvaged cache of the Sports Guy's old columns from AOL Digital Cities, none of which survives online. Today's jaunt down memory lane is a field trip Simmons took to Bristol in 1997, under the auspices of his friend Gus Ramsey, a SportsCenter produ...

Rodney Harrison Is An Idiot. Let Rob Gronkowski Dance!
You may have seen this video of Pats tight end Rob Gronkowski and tackle Matt Light, fresh off of losing the Super Bowl, doing what I would be probably be doing if I just lost the biggest game of my life: getting shitfaced, dancing shirtless, and trying to get laid. But of course, Rodney Harrison do...

At The Nets' New Arena, Jay-Z Won't Settle For Anything Less Than The Best Champagne And Forks
How much of a stake Jay-Z has a part-owner of the New Jersey Nets is not known. He is, however, prominently involved with the details of the team's plans to move to his native Brooklyn next season—right down to the flatware in the priciest luxury suites. This is how Scott Cacciola starts his story ...

I Hung Out With Dukebags And Discovered The Greatest Value In The History Of Drunken Eating
I went down to the Research Triangle area of North Carolina last week. This is the area comprising Durham, Chapel Hill, and Raleigh. It's a very pretty area, surrounded by tall trees that are so perfectly spaced out it's almost as if the entire forest were landscaped. And the forest floor itself is ...

Professional Athlete Used Recreational Drug
Via the Boston Globe: "Dennis 'Oil Can' Boyd's new tell-all book, 'They Call Me Oil Can: My Life in Baseball,' which hits bookstores in June, should be a blockbuster if the stories are similar to what the former Red Sox pitcher told WBZ's Jon Miller yesterday at JetBlue Park. Boyd, who spent eight o...

LeBron's Not Going To Apologize For Kendrick Perkins's Hurt Feelings
When LeBron tweeted about Blake Griffin's dunk destruction of Kendrick Perkins, it gave Perk a sad. "You don't see Kobe tweeting," he said. "You don't see Michael Jordan tweeting." You also don't see Kobe or MJ running to the media to complain that someone was mean to them on the internet....

The Things ESPN's Complaints-Page Robots Expect You To Be Mad About (Besides Female Commentators)
Jezebel alerted us to this on Tuesday: ESPN's feedback page allows you to pick from a menu of presumably common complaints, sorted by sport. For both men's and women's college basketball, for instance, your choices include "Schedule," "Bands/Halftime Performance," "Technical - Audio/Video," and—unti...

Jeremy Lin Also Dominates Intramural Flag Football Games
There's just no stopping this Lin fellow. Here he is taking over what appears to be the 2009 Harvard intramural flag football championship between Winthrop House and Leverett House (respect). A two-way threat, Lin can be seen flying all over the field. Just chuck the ball in his direction and let ...

Awful Uncalled Penalty Sets Up Game-Winning Goal Six Seconds Later
Perhaps referees can't be bothered to care when two last-place teams go at it. That's the only possible explanation for the lack of a call on Anaheim's Corey Perry for tripping up Carolina's Jussi Jokinen. It wasn't away from the puck, or in a cloud of bodies, but right out there in the open where...

Will Ferrell Introduces Us To The Hornets, Bulls, And Luol Deng's Pet Dolphin, Chachi
Your morning roundup for Feb. 9. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...