tweet Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Winter X Games Are Underway, Which Means Gnarly Snowmobile Crashes
Snowmobile Freestyle is perhaps the the most batshit insane of all professional sports in North America (snocross comes close) due simply to the ridiculous things competitors are able to tweak out of their 450-pound death machines. So here's 22-year-old Texan Colton Colten Moore failing spectacula...

NC State's Lorenzo Brown Just Hit An 80-Foot Buzzer-Beater
It didn't help his squad (still down 37-23 to eighth-ranked North Carolina) but North Carolina State guard Lorenzo Brown hit a nifty long-range buzzer-beater to draw the Wolfpack a bit closer at intermission. [ESPN]...

ESPN.com Solemnly Observes Joe Paterno's Funeral By Crashing A Jeep Through His Casket
That is all. [NESW]...

Teabagger Brian Downing's Lawyers: The Murder Rate Is Too Damn High To Worry About Teabagging
Brian Downing, the alleged Alabama teabagger, has, since surrendering a week ago, found himself some lawyers. And those lawyers—Michael Kennedy and Miles Swanson—have found Deadspin's email addresses. Their words, on the sexual battery charges in New Orleans:...

Eli Manning And The NFL's Trouble With Goodness
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Ryan Clark Has Pro Bowl Fever: "I Wasn’t Incredibly Excited Or Anything"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Clark looks forward to winning the Pro Bowl Twitter war....

Here's Video And A Transcript Of Nike Chairman Phil Knight's Vehement Defense Of Joe Paterno
At today's public memorial for Joe Paterno, Nike's Phil Knight called Joe Paterno his "hero" and launched a counterattack against Penn State for the manner in which the university fired its head football coach. Here's the video (from BTN) and the broadcast transcript (unedited) from Knight's eulo...

Wes Welker Is Engaged To A Former Miss Hooters International Girl
"He makes her breakfast in bed. She made him flannel pajamas with cowboy boots on them for Christmas." They're, like, delightfully tacky, yet refined. [Boston Herald]...

By Bolting For The Tampa Bay Bucs, Greg Schiano Is Fulfilling Rutgers's Football Dreams
Adam Schefter is reporting that Greg Schiano and the Buccaneers have reached terms on a five-year deal that makes Schiano Tampa Bay's next head coach. But by leaving Rutgers in the lurch with National Signing Day for football recruits coming next week, Rutgers will be right where it always wanted t...

The US Women Won Two Games 27-0, And It Did Not Impress Brandi Chastain, So Hope Solo Fought Back
The US shredded its opponents in CONCACAF women's soccer Olympic qualifiers this week—14-0 over the Dominicans, 13-0 over Guatemala, and 4-0 over Mexico—but Brandi Chastain, the lady who's famous for this, was not impressed. She called the games for Universal Sports Network (it's not the one formerl...

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Has An Additional Year-End Fee Of $90
We can't think what else the disproportionate $89.55 "miscellaneous" charge could be....

What Do Premier League Stars Read When They're Not Busy Not Reading?
It's time for the 2012 Premier League Reading Stars program, in which England's schoolkids are encouraged to read by professional athletes pretending to love books. To kick off the program, 20 Premier Leaguers—one from each club—were asked to name their favorite adult and children's books. The resul...

Last Night's Ohio-Central Michigan Women's Basketball Game Got A Bit Chippy-Wa
Apologies for the lousy video quality, but here's a fight that erupted between Ohio's Porsha Harris and CMU's Jas'Mine Bracey during the Chippewas' 67-53 win over the Bobcats last night in Mount Pleasant....

Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...

FBI Docs: The Story Of The 6-Foot-8 Redneck Ex-Con Who Terrorized George Steinbrenner With Jet Skis
Ah, Tampa. The balmy breeze. The sandy white beaches of acceptable granularity. The lingering fury of the most dyspeptic owner in baseball history. I speak, of course, of George Steinbrenner. Welcome back for another edition of "The Boss Files," our document-driven retrospective of Steinbrenner's li...

Clover-Nipple Man, The Unofficial Conductor Of The Notre Dame Fight Song
Your morning roundup for Jan. 26, the day somebody finally tried to do something about all that cannibalism out there. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Lawrence Taylor, On If He Is A Changed Man After Getting Busted With An Underage Prostitute: "No"
In a meandering and bizarre interview aired Wednesday night on Showtime's Inside The NFL, Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor attempted to respond to questions about his 2010 arrest for soliciting an underage prostitute but mostly left the impression that more trouble's in his future....

Your "Oh No, It's 3:30 A.M. " Liveblog Of Federer-Nadal At The Australian Open
Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are set to meet in the Australian Open semifinals on Thursday, in a match scheduled to begin at 3:30 a.m. ET. It's the 27th time the pair have met on a tennis court, with the Majorcan matador holding a 17-9 edge all-time, 7-2 in Grand Slams. The meeting is notable, con...

Don't Correct Michael Strahan's Grammar Or He May Suggest You Suck Your Dad's Dick
This is purportedly a series of Twitter direct messages sent from Michael Strahan to one Lindsey Koehler after the exchange in the above gallery....

Some Guy From Queens Apparently Got Eli And Peyton Manning Tattooed On His Hairy Ass
Writes tipster Derek B., "My buddy got this tattoo Eli giving Peyton a noogie today. He's a huge Giants fan."...