Teabagger Brian Downing's Lawyers: The Murder Rate Is Too Damn High To Worry About Teabagging

Brian Downing, the alleged Alabama teabagger, has, since surrendering a week ago, found himself some lawyers. And those lawyers—Michael Kennedy and Miles Swanson—have found Deadspin's email addresses. Their words, on the sexual battery charges in New Orleans:

While there has been an incredible amount of attention and publicity surrounding Mr. Downing's case, it boggles the mind that with the New Orleans murder rate disturbingly high, the New Orleans Police Department and the District Attorney's office would devote substantial energy and attention to this matter. To charge Mr. Downing with sexual battery demeans the real and serious trauma of actual victims of sexual violence.

Oh, and guess what, the guy was so drunk, it wouldn't have mattered if not for those pesky internet people:

The eighteen year old victim was never physically harmed and, in fact, was so intoxicated that he would have had no recollection of the incident, but for a video posted online. Any "harm" is entirely post hoc and amplified by media more concerned with ratings and sensationalism than covering substantive news.

That's rich, but thanks, we guess? The full press release is available here, if you should ever find yourself needing New-Orleans-based attorneys who specialize in this kind of thing.