ugh Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goalkeeper Blows Game With Enormous Boner In Added Time
Poor Dimitrios Konstantopoulos. It's bad enough the Middlesbrough goalkeeper cost his team a point today against QPR by allowing a goal in the 94th minute, but it's how he did it—by completely whiffing on a clearance and allowing Bobby Zamora the chance to walk in a goal—that is utterly embarrassing...
Delusional Rec-League Softball Coach Has 11 Insane Questions For You
Reader Jon almost joined a rec softball league "run by the world's biggest asshole." Let's have a look at Coach Dave's questionnaire for all incoming recruits, shall we?...
Jim Harbaugh Never Takes Off His Jim Harbaugh Uniform
This is Jim Harbaugh, giving a pep talk to the Kansas Jayhawks before their game against Texas Tech, decked out in full Jim Harbaugh regalia. He's got the $8 khakis, the hat, and the sweatshirt. The only thing he's missing is the Sharpie necklace....
So What If Everyone Hates Jim Harbaugh?
It's sort of remarkable that for the 49ers, who have made three straight trips to at least the conference championship game, the inevitable storyline of this season will be "everybody hates the coach." But here we are....
Angry Dad Is Very Upset About How Local Swim Team Is Being Run
Everyone knows that hockey dads and football dads and lacrosse dads are crazy, but did you know that swimming dads can be just as nuts? They can! A tipster just forwarded us the following email, which was sent by one angry parent to the other members of his kid's swim team board (names have been red...
Has Jim Harbaugh Worn Out His Welcome In San Francisco?
As more non-denials come out, it appears the Browns did make some attempt to trade for 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh. There's enough smoke to assume that something was at least smoldering. But much more interesting than the "what" is the "why," and the growing sense that all is not well in Ninerland....
San Francisco 49ers CEO Sons Pro Football Talk's Mike Florio
Earlier today, Pro Football Talk's Mike Florio ran a sort of weird story about the Cleveland Browns having nearly traded for San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh....
The Crime Novelist Who Reinvented Soccer Writing
The Books Issue is the eighth issue of The Classical Magazine. In addition to the piece below, it features writing by Alex Belth, Holly M. Wendt, and many more writing about such subjects as North Dallas Forty, the making of "What Do You Think of Ted Williams Now?," Harry Crews, The Pogues, and bike...
Brandon Jacobs Nonchalantly Calls Jim Harbaugh A "Bitch"
Via Bob's Blitz, former 49ers and Giants RB Brandon Jacobs called into Boomer & Carton this morning, and Jacobs has no love lost for his old coach in San Francisco. I love how he just slips it in toward the end of his hit. "I got two rings, and Harbaugh, he's a bitch, so it doesn't matter."...
Jim Harbaugh Drops Ernest Hemingway Line In Postgame Interview
The man had just lost a football game. He did not know what to say, how to make it clear. Now he would never use the plays that he had saved to use until he knew enough to use them well. At least his khakis fit. They always fit, and they always made sense. Eight dollars is what they cost....
Jim Harbaugh's Antics Are Your First-Half NFC Championship Highlight
Is Jim Harbaugh coaching? Then he's probably throwing some kind of tantrum. He was certainly up to his usual tricks at the end of the first half today, and if we have to pick sides we're hoping for another game of Jim Harbaugh antics in the Super Bowl....
Buy Jim Harbaugh's Used Khakis
They aren't $8 Walmart khakis, so that totally makes it reasonable to want Jim Harbaugh's game-worn khakis. (The pants are priced at $500, according to Lindsey.)...
Photo Evidence Of Jim Harbaugh Buying Walmart Khakis
Earlier today, we found out that 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh has a pleated khaki addiction, to the point where he bought khakis at Walmart during the NFL Combine after his wife threw his pairs out. After that story surfaced, someone on Twitter shared photos of Harbaugh at a Walmart in Indianapolis, whe...
Jim Harbaugh Wears $8 Walmart Khakis
San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh loves his gameday khakis, probably because NFL coaches are functional lunatics who cling devoutly to certain habits lest they come completely unmoored from reality, and also because khakis offer loose-fitting comfort at a reasonable price. ...
What Can We Learn About America From The Stuff We Put Up Our Asses?
This Christmas, we took our annual look at what Americans got stuck in their butts this past year. It sure felt like a banner year for rectum accidents, but was this really this case? And the obvious followup: What does it mean for the economy?...
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
While collecting insertions into various orifices for our annual feature, we stumbled across a good number of truly awful penis-related mishaps. Culled from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, here's a year's worth of self-abuse....
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. [Note: Headline has ...
Rugby Player Looks Like Frankenstein's Monster After Getting Stepped On
Don't look at it! Ha, too late, suckers....
Chart: A Week In The Insane Life Of An NFL Head Coach
Over on ESPN, Ravens head coach John Harbaugh was kind enough to provide a schedule of his work week leading up to Baltimore's game at Chicago on Nov. 17 (the story will appear in the Dec. 9 edition of ESPN The Magazine). It's not an easy job—Harbaugh spends about 69 hours a week in meetings (or mee...