ugh Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Good, The Bad, And The Doughnuts
Good: At fan appreciation day in October, Astros fan Bob Choate won a year's supply of free doughnuts from Shipley's Do-Nuts....
The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....
It Sure Looks Like This North Dakota Sioux Hockey Fan Has His Jeaned Ass Square In His Wife's Face
Michigan Wolverine forward Scooter Vaughan just scored an empty-net goal and was a mere 35.8 seconds from the NCAA hockey championship game. He was also just about to end the trending North Dakota Sioux's season. That's when guy here got so absorbed in dropping a double on Vaughan that he felt no c...
The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...
Michael Irvin Wants To Restore 80s-Style Discipline To Miami Football
Today, University of Miami (by way of North Philadelphia) football coach Al Golden took to Twitter with a major announcement. It involved "U Discipline," his desire to "Uphold The Legacy," and a quote from human-hurricane Michael Irvin....
Donald Sterling Has Seized The "Guy Who Hates Cancer Patients" Label
Several tipsters took it upon themselves to point out a story about then-Los Angeles Clippers assistant coach Kim Hughes's battle with prostate cancer, and how the necessary surgery wasn't covered by the team's medical-insurance plan. There were plenty of stories and posts about it this week. In on...
Roger Goodell Almost Certainly Fell Asleep In A Tanning Bed Before This ESPN Interview
Your morning roundup for March 16, the day we lost frequent Em and Dre collaborator Nate Dogg....
Swansea’s Ashley Williams Gives The Worst Back Pass Ever
Swansea City, or "The Welsh Barcelona" as nobody in their right mind calls them, have been doing rather well this season. Despite losing their second dapper manager in as many years after Paulo Sousa left for Leicester, they are currently second in the Championship and playing some proper tidy foo...
Three Arrested, Six Ejected At FA Youth Cup; Remaining Man U Fans Chant About Terrible Disasters
Liverpool and Manchester United played in the annual FA Youth Cup on Sunday. United came back from two goals down to win, 3-2. The other final count at Anfield: three fans arrested for drunkenness, six ejected for what was likely more controlled drunkenness, and reports that a section of United fa...
Worst High School Baseball Drubbing Over Five Innings?
This might not be the biggest blowout in high school baseball history. But it's bad. It's real bad. On Tuesday in Dallas, Lake Highlands beat Samuell by a score of...a score of...well, shucks, everyone lost track after Lake Highlands put up 50 and the game was called by the mercy rule in the fifth....
Debate Over: Tigers Beat Lions
It is done. The great mystery is solved. The juggernauts have met on even terms, and only one remains. Only tiger remains. The BBC has the news:...
Bart Scott Now Owns The Rights To The Phrase "Can't Wait!"
Sal Paolantonio interviewed Bart Scott back in January, after the Jets defeated the Patriots, 28-21 in the AFC semifinals. As the ESPN YouTube video would have us believe, Scott "literally [flew] over" to Paolantonio, talked about nosebleeds and believing for a bit, and ended his shining moment wi...
Extremely Intoxicated Priest Offered Himself Up As Sex Slave To Some Cops
When Brimfield Township, Ohio police came up upon the Very Reverend Canon Ignatius J. Kury, Pastor the other night, the holy man was laying down in the back seat of his ride, hammered. This much was confirmed when he blew three times the legal limit. That's around the time that they decided to star...
Mets Owners Were Really, Really Confident In Bernie Madoff
Somehow, some way, long after Bernard Madoff began his 150-year prison sentence, the Mets are still being made to look foolish with their money....
Cockblocked By Daughtry!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Record For Worst Televised Bowling Ever Was Set Yesterday
In the semifinals of the Professional Bowlers Association Tournament of Champions in Vegas on Saturday, Tom Daugherty needed every ball at his disposal to reach 100 in his televised-bowling debut. His foe, Mika Koivuniemi, needed them to reach 299....
Clyde Frazier Killed A Zoo To Make His Outfit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Jim Harbaugh To The 49ers
Adam Schefter is reporting Jim Harbaugh will sign a 5-year deal with San Francisco, and get to coach the third- or fourth-best QB in the bay area....
Dan Shaughnessy Is Awful
I'd be remiss if I didn't point out this execrable column from Dan Shaughnessy that ran on SI's website earlier this week, and is yet another triumph of idiotic Boston provincialism....
Three Generations Of Wondering Why There's A Damn Shootout
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....