ugh Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Clyde Frazier Killed A Zoo To Make His Outfit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jim Harbaugh To The 49ers
Adam Schefter is reporting Jim Harbaugh will sign a 5-year deal with San Francisco, and get to coach the third- or fourth-best QB in the bay area....

Dan Shaughnessy Is Awful
I'd be remiss if I didn't point out this execrable column from Dan Shaughnessy that ran on SI's website earlier this week, and is yet another triumph of idiotic Boston provincialism....

Three Generations Of Wondering Why There's A Damn Shootout
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

What Happens On A Directional Punt, And Why Coughlin Shouldn't Have Lost His Shit
Go ahead, blame the kicker. Chase him down while the play is still live and let everyone at home know whose fault this loss is. It's yours, Matt Dodge! It's all your fault!...

If Tom Coughlin Really Said This To A Teary-Eyed Matt Dodge, He's Quite The Monstrous Dick
This from Philly radio loudmouth Howard Eskin's Twitter: "After Eagles game learned that NY coach T. Coughlin saw his punter in tears. Told him get out of locker room. No longer on this team." And this. But Dodge remains....

How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....

John Salley Story Corner: What It's Like When A Shitty Coach Gets Fired
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Kevin Loughery, basketball's Brad Childress....

A Former NFLer On "Laughing" Derek Anderson And The Football Robot Blowhards
On Monday, Derek Anderson was scolded for smiling on camera during the Cardinals' loss to the 49ers, leading to his "Nothing is funny to me" tirade. Ex-NFL player Nate Jackson defends his former colleague from Jon Gruden and all the rest of the "emotionally stunted football pedants."...

Alabama Football Staffer Fired For Playing "Take the Money and Run" Before Iron Bowl
The university announced that the part-time employee was fired for playing "unauthorized" music at Bryant-Denny Stadium. The unauthorized music also happened to be directed at Auburn quarterback Cam Newton....

Canadian Football Player Breaks His Leg Like An American Football Player
Leron Mitchell broke his leg during the Grey Cup last night. It's really awful, but the YouTube description is beautifully poetic: "Leron Mitchell snaps his leg during the CFL championship game. His team also lost." When it rains in Canada, it pours....

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Remember The Time Peyton Manning Helped Chris Hanson Catch A Predator?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

When World Series Riots Go Wrong, People Get Hit By Cars
Here's some footage that's going around today. In it, a rowdy crowd celebrates the Giants win with vandalism and a bonfire. Then a car comes through the crowd and a mob swarms the car and driver until police show up. Holy shit....

The Chuckling Idiots Of NFL Pregame Shows: A Video Compilation
As The Wall Street Journal recently demonstrated, the hosts of the Fox and CBS NFL pregame shows do a lot of laughing. With that in mind, we've reduced Sunday's programs to their essence—dudes chuckling over something or other....

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Pittsburgh at Miami is probably the highlight game of this slate, right? But don't forget that Chicago is celebrating the 39th anniversary of killing a Lion....

This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....

This Is What Happens When Three NBA Players Appear On The Fox Business Network
Andre Iguodala, Josh Smith, and Russell Westbrook stopped by the Fox Business Network to promote NBA 2K11 and were ambushed by a strange British man who asked leading questions about paying taxes. Awkward and informative. [SB Nation, Free Darko]...