um Page 176 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Summer League Is Only Good For Getting Unreasonably Excited About Duncan Robinson
Have you heard about the NBA’s biggest signing of the summer? Clearly I am referring to the new two-way contract that former Michigan Wolverine Duncan Robinson has signed with the Miami Heat. ...
Belgium Sound Pretty Salty About Losing To France
Losing sucks! Losing the way the Belgians did, after tearing through five straight wins at the World Cup, some against really excellent teams, before getting blanked 1-0 by France in the semis, really sucks. Getting used to winning via pace and pressure and a series of unorthodox tactical decisions ...
France Versus Belgium Could've Been Awesome But It Kind Of Sucked
Among the 22 players on the pitch during today’s World Cup semifinal that pit France against Belgium, there were a solid half dozen capable of explosive, awe-inspiring feats of greatness. Unfortunately, none of them were able to do anything terribly explosive or awe-inspiring, so France’s 1-0 win to...
The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Raging
Manny Machado turned 26 on Friday; he is in the prime of his career, and he is having the best season of his life. The Baltimore Orioles have the worst record in baseball, and not much hope of being better any time soon. It seems certain that by the end of this month—maybe even by the end of this we...
Belgium And Brazil Just Put On The Best Show Of The World Cup
My god, what did we just watch. The game of the tournament, certainly, and probably one of the best matches in recent World Cup history. All I know for sure is that Belgium beat Brazil today, 2-1, in a quarterfinal that had all the intensity, insanity, momentum-swings, and amazing plays that make fo...
For The Last Time: NFL Ratings Are Not Down. They're Up, Compared To Everything Else
I am once again forced to use this space to explain something that is evident to anyone who has been paying attention to the nature of the television industry over the past few years....
Under No Circumstances Will You Ever Guess Which Utah Jazz Rookie Provoked A Tussle With Trae Young
The dreaded Grayson Allen started Thursday night’s Hawks-Jazz Summer League tilt in Salt Lake City. You will be very glad to know that he’s shooting poorly and struggling to score (two points on 1-of-10 shooting through three quarters, but a tidy eight assists to zero turnovers). You will not be sur...
Summer League Takeaway: Marvin Bagley III Lacks The Skills To Pay The Bills
The annual Summer League parade of zero-dimensional guards is supposed to be redeemed by the play of the year’s hot-shot lottery picks. This is why anyone watches the various summer leagues: for those rare and blessed moments when this or that miscellaneous journeyman guard forgets to throw up anoth...
Play-By-Play Man Calls The Destruction Of His Own Computer Like A True Pro
Roger Hoover is the play-by-play man for the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, and during yesterday’s game against the Mobile BayBears, a foul ball zipped into the press box and wrecked Hoover’s computer. Hoover, keeping things professional, just sat there and relayed the action to listeners, describing th...
Joshua Blew A Trumpet And Fell The Walls Of Jericho; Tim Tebow Blew A Fly Ball Off The Wall And It Hit Him In The Head
Look, man, I dunno how many more of these Tebow headlines I have left....
The Fight For Peace Has Never Been Easy
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
I Am Not Superstitious, But Japan <i>Definitely</i> Lost Because Its Psychic Octopus With A Perfect Record Was Killed, Sold, And Eaten
Belgium’s round-of-16 win over Japan was a shocker, with the Red Devils coming back from an 0-2 second-half hole to win 3-2 on a thrilling counter at the very end of stoppage time. It’s gotta be difficult to swallow for Japan, because that final counter—an absolute thing of beauty—came off a poorly ...
Marvin Bagley Posterized Moe Wagner And The Kings' Season Has Already Peaked<em></em>
In the first quarter of his Summer League debut, former Dookie Marvin Bagley III made a strong case that the Sacramento Kings actually didn’t screw it all up by picking him second in this year’s draft. With one dribble and a mighty leap, Bagley threw down a thunderous dunk in transition, ending Moe ...
Summer League Takeaways: Jaren Jackson Is A God, And Trae Young Is A Bum
The NBA Summer League kicked off Monday night with a battle between the Hawks and the Grizzlies, which Memphis won 103-88. In those four quarters, we learned everything we needed to know about each team’s marquee draft picks. Jaren Jackson Jr., the fourth pick for Memphis out of Michigan State, is o...
Romelu Lukaku Is A Genius
More than any other soccer skill, positional awareness comes with the widest gulf between how important it is to a team’s success and how readily noticeable it is to the casual fan watching at home. This is partly due to the limitations of broadcast camera angles, and partly due to the fact that sma...
Most Thrilling Half Of The World Cup Ends With Belgium Sticking A Dagger In Japan's Heart
After an uneventful first 45 minutes, Belgium and Japan put together the best half of soccer in what has already been an extremely entertaining World Cup. Belgium generated more dangerous chances and generally looked like the better team throughout the first half, but it was a cagey affair and it se...
MMA Fight Somehow Gets Weirder After The Fake Heart Attack
Johnathan Ivey fought Travis Fulton in the main event of this weekend’s Colosseum Combat XLV event in Kokomo, Ind., and while fans didn’t exactly get their money’s worth of action, they at least got to witness an all-time theatre of the absurd moment. After Fulton connected with a body kick in the f...
Goddamn, John Tortorella Is <i>Pissed</i>
I want to begin by noting that it’s pretty funny that this latest, greatest round of beef between the Blue Jackets and Penguins is all over Jack Johnson, of all players, a bottom-pairing defenseman on the wrong side of 30 and coming off his worst season as a pro. That said: Give me the beef!...
Magi Came From The East Upon Seeing Jesus’s Star; Tim Tebow Is An Eastern League All-Star
Binghamton Rumble Ponies outfielder Tim Tebow, a 30-year-old man who has admirably persisted in his dream of playing professional sports for a living, has earned himself a small token of success by being named to the Eastern League All-Star Game. Tebow has only batted .261 all season, but heated up ...
England Score Big Win By Losing To Belgium
In today’s crucial group stage match between England and Belgium, the Brits narrowly managed to come out on top by coming out on bottom of a hard-fought 1-0 loss. With this phenomenal loss, England won entry to the much weaker side of the knockout round bracket, and now have a clear lane to the Worl...