um Page 185 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Christian Pulisic Rings In The New Year With A Powerful And Absolutely Legit Slam Dunk
Christian Pulisic—the wonderteen, the nation’s best and most favored soccer man, an elite athlete blessed with speed and agility and hops we don’t normally associate with slight, diminutive whiteboys—had himself a (mostly) great 2017. To commemorate his metaphorical ascent to the heights of the spor...
Vince McMahon Has Been Working Towards A GOP-Oriented Product For Years
While a pro-Trump political slant for the soon to be relaunched XFL is nowhere close to official yet, history tells us that Vince McMahon making a move in that direction would not exactly be very surprising. The WWE chief’s products have blatantly pushed right wing politics for years, and while ever...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
If it’s Christmas, it must be time to learn what America shoved inside itself. The only worthwhile holiday tradition pushes on....
Arenas Are Important And Football Stadiums Are Not
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...
Dana White Is Boasting About Signing Floyd Mayweather To A UFC Contract
Floyd Mayweather, a boxer who lies about being retired, has taken all of four months to start speculating about his next fight. He recently said that he has an offer from the UFC, and Dana White talked to ESPN’s Brett Okamoto today to continue hyping up a mixed martial arts debut for the famously br...
Classy Stephen F. Austin Team Doesn't Refuse Opposing Coach's Weird Pep Talk
Cuonzo Martin’s 10-2 Missouri Tigers escaped an upset from Stephen F. Austin in Columbia Tuesday night, 82-81. By besting SFA coach Kyle Keller, Martin apparently believed he had earned the right to take over his entire team....
Big Fucking Shock: The GOP Tax Bill Won't End Stadium Subsidies
For a while there, the Republican tax bill contained a provision that would be difficult to describe as a “silver lining,” given how comprehensively destructive the rest of the bill is, but could reasonably have been described as “not bad.” The provision was set to prevent cities from using tax-exem...
Swole Tim Lincecum Might Be Eyeing A Comeback
Multiple Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum, who seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth since he last pitched in 2016, has reappeared on baseball fans’ radar looking far beefier than he ever did on a pitcher’s mound. Adam Ottavino of the Colorado Rockies posted a picture on Instagram of what TMZ is c...
Timing Of Trademarks Suggests "New XFL" May Be A Response To NFL Protests
On Friday afternoon, I received a particularly surprising DM from someone whose information is normally solid, if not always reportable. The DM said that Vince McMahon is bringing back the XFL, with a press conference announcing the move on Jan. 25. The scuttlebutt was that not only had ESPN’s 30 fo...
Sad, Rich Teen Gianluigi Donnarumma Has Pissed Off AC Milan Fans Again
Gianluigi Donnarumma is a teenaged, homegrown superstar-in-the-making who plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world, AC Milan. In terms of fan adoration, these facts should put him somewhere on the spectrum between “Spurs fans who’d let Harry Kane make love to their mothers if it would make hi...
Dipshit Saints Fan Sues Team Over Anthem Protests
A Saints fan named Lee Dragna, who appears to be a real dumbass, has filed a lawsuit against the team seeking a refund for his season tickets. He wants the refund because his ability to enjoy Saints games has been ruined by the NFL’s anthem protests....
Luc Robitaille's Wife, Stacia, Shares A Story Of Donald Trump Being An Aggressive Creep
There’s no shortage of stories about President Donald Trump being a gross, aggressive perv, and Stacia Robitaille shared another on Twitter last night:...
MLB Umpire Dale Scott Retires After Series Of Concussions
Longtime MLB umpire Dale Scott has decided to retire, citing a string of concussions in recent years and his fear that any more could lead to long-term health effects....
The Ball Brothers Must Visit Lithuania's Extremely Metal Devil Museum
This afternoon brought the news that two American teens would move to Lithuania to make little money playing basketball for a mediocre club in front of few people....
Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke Is Mad Because <i>Outside Magazine</i> Pointed Out He's A Fly Fishing Novice
One of the stupidest plans that the extremely stupid Trump administration is currently carrying out is a dramatic shrinking of Bears Ears National Monument in Utah. Trump recently announced that he would cut the size of Bears Ears by 85 percent and halved the size of the Grand Staircase-Escalante Na...
The "Art Modell Law" Might Be Columbus's Best Shot At Keeping The Crew
The Columbus Crew’s season is over, but the fight over where they’ll play the 2019 season is becoming increasingly heated. Despite it being a horrendous breach of trust with the city of Columbus and an affront to MLS’ bizarre, artificially deflated business model, MLS czar Don Garber is apparently c...
Vasyl Lomachenko Vs. Guillermo Rigondeaux Is Boxing Fuckery At Its Finest
Vasyl Lomachenko is a gizmo. “Hi-Tech” is a fitting sobriquet for the fighter whose ring style is a dizzying arsenal of bells, whistles, buzzers, beepers, and blinking lights....
Lindsey Vonn: "I Hope To Represent The People Of The United States, Not The President"<em></em>
American skier Lindsey Vonn, who’s returning to the Olympics next year for the first time since 2010, says that she wouldn’t accept an invitation to the White House after the 2018 Games in Pyeongchang if she were invited. In an interview with CNN, Vonn said that she wants to “represent the people o...
Which Potential Olympic Mascot Has The Best Superpowers?<em></em>
Yesterday, the committee organizing the 2020 Toyko Summer Olympics announced the finalists for the official mascots of the Olympic and Paralympic Games. As you can expect in a mascot-mad country like Japan, the process was complicated. Seriously, there were eight meetings of the Mascot Selection Pro...
Oakland A's "Shocked" After Latest Stadium Plan Falls Through
The Oakland A’s have been trying to leave their sewage-logged digs for a new ballpark for what feels like decades now. In September, they expressed their desire to build a new, privately financed stadium near Laney College, right in the middle of Oakland next to Lake Merritt. They’ll have to pick a ...