um Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Spent Two Weeks As A True <i>Overwatch</i> Idiot<em></em>
Overwatch, they say, is about teamwork. They’re correct, but what they don’t tell you (because it should be obvious to anyone with a child’s understanding of how video games work) is that you shoot at your opponents, not your teammates. It would appear that I merely have an overgrown baby’s understa...
How "Fake News" Became Meaningless
Let’s talk about fake news. Are you excited? I am! (Actually I’m not. That claim was fake news.)...
Please Keep This In Mind Now That Donald Trump Is Taking Over The Economy
To all the Wall Street titans, billionaires, and run-of-the-mill rich people who are celebrating the ascendance of Donald Trump to the White House: please keep this one piece of context in mind....
Paul Finebaum Abruptly Ends Radio Segment After Falling Ill
There was a very strange moment during the Paul Finebaum Show on ESPN radio today. Right in the middle of a segment, host Paul Finebaum had to leave the set after apparently becoming sick....
The Time I Didn’t Have Time For Donald Trump
I thought I was just shooing away another clown. I couldn’t have known at the time that I was shooing away a clown who would wind up becoming president of the United States....
Goldman Sachs Does Not Want To Talk About It
If someone came to your house and camped in your front yard and screamed all day and night about how bad you are, you would want to correct the record somehow. Right? ...
The Long Ride For The First American Team To Race The Tour Of Iran<em></em>
Chris Johnson realized that the Tour of Iran was a different sort of bike race while trying to solve what’s usually a simple mechanical problem. It was Stage 2 of the five-stage race. Johnson was driving Team Illuminate’s official team car toward an approaching dust storm while Edwin Ávila attempted...
Trump's Education Secretary Pick On Guns In Schools: "What About Grizzly Bears?"
Betsy DeVos, a galactically rich and galactically evil anti-public school, anti-gay rights donor appointed by Donald Trump to be our country’s next Education Secretary, is going through confirmation hearings tonight (sports angle: her shitty father owns the Orlando Magic). She was asked about guns i...
Rush Transcript Of Mike Allen's Interview With Donald Trump
Today, D.C. access journalism kingpin Mike Allen, known for letting political players dictate the tone of their own coverage and for posing in a smiling photo with Donald Trump, will be meeting personally with Donald Trump. We’ve obtained an early transcript: ...
Washington's Kelsey Plum Keeps Getting Buckets, Huskies Keep Rolling
UConn is a dynasty and already seems like a lock to secure a slot in the national championship come April. But not even a record-breaking 91-game winning streak can overshadow the fact that some of the most entertaining basketball is being played on the West Coast by Washington senior guard Kelsey P...
The Spy Who Compiled The Golden Showers Dossier Helped Bring Down Sepp Blatter
A day after Donald Trump held a press conference to decry Buzzfeed’s reporting, spout nonsensically about how he doesn’t do treason, and claim that he wouldn’t take part in a golden shower party because he’s a germaphobe, the Wall Street Journal has reported the identity of the British spy who helpe...
Report: The Chargers Are Finally Announcing That They'll Head To L.A.
I hope you enjoyed last season’s dose of terrible football and unlivable stadium conditions, Los Angeles residents, because you’re in for twice the fun next season! ...
Republicans Have No Good Reason Not To Impeach Donald Trump<em></em>
It’s been fun, but it’s about time for Republicans to admit that the great Donald Trump experiment isn’t going to work out—for them....
This Is Why You Don't Kiss The Ring
Ethical guidelines exist for a reason. Norms exist for a reason. ...
Craven Reporters Scold BuzzFeed For Reporting News<em></em>
As you’re likely aware by now, yesterday evening BuzzFeed published a dossier of allegations about Donald Trump, including the instantly unforgettable description of a hotel-room piss party with Russian prostitutes. This set the internet on fire for much of last night and dominated a bizarre press c...
Donald Trump Denies That He Hired Russian Hookers For Golden Shower Party
This evening, Buzzfeed News published a dossier full of Donald Trump gossip that has apparently been circulating among politicians, intelligence officials, and journalists. The claims include allegations that Trump rented out the same Moscow hotel room that the Obamas stayed in and hired a pair of p...
Plan To Steal Money From St. Louis In Order To Build MLS Stadium Effectively Dead
We’re still a long, long way away from every local and state government having the backbone to refuse paying for major sports stadiums with public money, but today brings news of a step in the right direction....
Newspaper Scientists Engineer Story That Will Make Everyone Self-Righteously Angry
It’s easy to write a story that pisses off one or two demographics. But how can you piss off every demographic simultaneously—all for different reasons? At last, the New York Times may have pinpointed how to accomplish this proud feat. ...
True Rich Asshole Meets With True Rich Asshole<em></em>
Rob Manfred arrived at Trump Tower this morning for a confirmed meeting with our impending National Disaster. As the billionaire face of a group of billionaire owners who recently opened a new D.C. lobbying branch, Manfred fit right in amongst the other off-the-record meetings Trump has been holding...