um Page 225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Don't They Just Make The Whole Airplane Out Of Olympic Venues?
By now everybody knows the modern Olympic Games system—whereby competing cities bid for the right to piss the GDP of Iceland into shabbily constructed venues that will host esoteric sports competitions for three weeks and then persist as rotting, uninhabited, politically radioactive civic boondoggle...
Welcome To Mike Pence's Living Hell
Mike Pence, who will be spending the next three months paying for the grievous sins of a past life and also probably this one, forced his mother to hold a piece of chicken on a plane yesterday evening....
Reports: Brock Lesnar And Chris Jericho Fought Over Bloody SummerSlam Ending
Sunday’s SummerSlam ended with Brock Lesnar opening up a huge gash on Randy Orton’s head via a series of very real punches and elbows. As is often the case when blood is spilled in the ring, it was hard to tell whether Lesnar tearing a hole in Orton’s head was a work, but a pair of reports from the ...
Philly Sports Radio World Rocked By True Story Of Fake Caller "Dwayne From Swedesboro"<em></em>
A local Philadelphia iteration of Skippy And Goatface’s Morning Sports Holocaust on 97.5 The Fanatic has an infamous caller: “Dwayne From Swedesboro.” Dwayne’s schtick is that he’s black, horny for white women, and runs into all sorts of paternity-test problems. According to an exhaustive, truly imp...
Trump Stooge On CNN: Hillary Clinton! Football! CTE? Just Saying ...
A Donald Trump supporter was invited on CNN this morning to yell about whatever it is Donald Trump supporters are yelling about these days. The Great Big Wheel Of Inane Bullshit happened to land on HILLARY CLINTON IS SICK AND FEEBLE, which led this anonymous Trump goon down a line of argument that e...
SummerSlam Ends With Brock Lesnar Tearing A New Hole In Randy Orton's Skull
A Brock Lesnar main event once again ended strangely and with blood, as the on-again, off-again MMA star delivered a very real elbow to Randy Orton’s head—one that opened up a massive gash....
The Cardinals Lost Their 57th Game
Phillies starting pitcher Jeremy Hellickson turned in an respectable seven innings Saturday night as Philadelphia beat the St. Louis Cardinals, 4-2....
Which Was Longer: Katie Ledecky's Margin Of Victory Or The Johnson-Teixeira Fight?
Today was a great day for Brazilian sport, but it was not a great day for Brazilian fighter Glover Teixeira, whose UFC 202 match against Anthony “Rumble” Johnson was over nearly as it began. But was that match shorter than Katie Ledecky’s margin of victory in the 800m freestyle? Watch this video to ...
Horse: "Fuck This"
Modern pentathlon competitors use unfamiliar horses for the show jumping event. Here’s the result of that rule....
How To Enjoy Coffee Even When It's A Thousand Degrees Out
Look, the weather is the most boring topic in the world, especially when it’s some asshole on the East Coast griping about it, but it’s hot. I can’t ride my bike, I can’t give my dog a good walk, I can barely breathe. I can, though, drink coffee. I’ve found the solution....
Jonathan Papelbon Subjected His Teammates To Terrible Pro-Trump Music
If there’s one thing you can say about Jonathan Papelbon, the ass-faced former Nationals closer who moves through life like an angry 14-year-old with a boner, it’s that he is always exactly who you expect him to be....
What Happened To The Long Jump?
Jeff Henderson claimed Olympic gold in the long jump Saturday night. He’s the first American to win that event since 2004, though the U.S. has won long jump gold 22 of the 28 times it’s been contested at the Olympics. And this is probably the first time you’re hearing his name....
The Cardinals Lost Their 56th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals followed last night’s loss by walk-off walk by getting obliterated in today’s day game. The Chicago Cubs won in a rout, 13-2....
The Cardinals Lost Their 55th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals utterly humiliated themselves at Wrigley Field Thursday as the Chicago Cubs won in extra innings, 4-3....
The Cardinals Lost Their 54th Game
The Cincinnati Reds broke open an eighth-inning tie Tuesday as they defeated the St. Louis Cardinals, 7-4....
An Oral History Of Our "Go Fuck Yourself" Tweet To Donald Trump
On January 16, 2013, Deadspin published an exposé of Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o’s fake dead girlfriend. The next morning, reality TV personality Donald Trump tweeted his congratulations. Fourteen minutes later, Deadspin tweeted back “Go fuck yourself.” This is the story of that tweet, as told ...
Diamondbacks Try To Squeeze More Money From Taxpayers; County Supervisor Tells Team To Screw Themselves<em></em>
The Diamondbacks have been playing in their current ballpark since 1998. Their stadium cost $364 million to build, and Maricopa County picked up $238 million of the tab. Eighteen years later, it is need of some repairs, and the fight over who is going to pay for them has gotten ugly....
The Cardinals Lost Their 53rd Game
The Atlanta Braves scored six runs in the first two innings Sunday as they defeated the St. Louis Cardinals, 6-3....