um Page 251 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just Stay Down, Man
Humberto Savigne's 420 career fights might have taught him a lesson about staying down after catching a knockout punch. That, or, his 420 career fights (most of which took place over Savigne's amateur years in Cuba) left him unable to know better. Either way... this is ugly. (Savigne's opponent Crai...
Indiana Highway Shut Down By Big Ol' Pile Of Frozen Doo-Doo
The terrible weather experienced recently across Real America has many commuters decrying the state of their streets. Only Hoosiers, though, can accurately claim to have dealt with truly shitty roads. That's because yesterday, one tanker accidentally dumped around 300 to 400 gallons of raw sewage ...
Bobby Knight Requests You Sit The Hell Down
"Hey, boys! Have a seat! Have a seat!"...
Are Outdoor Hockey Games Really Sloppier?
On Saturday the San Jose Sharks will host the Los Angeles Kings at Levi's Stadium in what will be the 15th outdoor regular season game in NHL history. With the number of outdoor games on a steady rise, there's an open and important question of whether or not the quality of play differs between indoo...
Golden Tate Wishes Russell Wilson Would Quash That Wife-Fucking Rumor
The rumor about former Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate having boned down with Russell Wilson's then-wife is internet lore at this point, and it's something that Tate is probably going to be asked about for the rest of his life....
Islanders Fan On TV: "My Son Was Conceived Back In That Parking Lot"
Tonight's Islanders broadcast featured an interview with an original season ticket holder—that's 42 seasons—and it's quite a doozy. I don't want to spoil it for anybody, so I'll just say the interview touches on sex in the Nassau Coliseum parking lot and an interesting pregnancy decision that may ha...
Gronk Hangs Out At The Beach, Hits On Local News Reporter
The Summer of Gronk continues in Florida, as self-aware lump of protein powder Rob Gronkowski avoids the buttload of snow in New England, chills at the beach, throws the f-ball around (that's slang for football), and does some 'shups (that's slang for pushups)....
Neither Of Those Are How You Spell "Columbus"
Chalk this one up as another example of Los Angeles local news having hockey problems if you must, but I figure the chyron operator was probably just thinking about quantifying the electrical charge of certain old-world monkeys, as we all do from time to time....
Has Detroit Found An Answer To The Publicly Financed Stadium Scam?
When Marathon Petroleum received a $175 million tax break from the city of Detroit in 2007, they promised jobs for Detroiters. And, as of last January, the $2.2 billion expansion of Marathon's refinery on the city's southwest side had, in fact, created new jobs for tax-paying residents —all of 15 of...
Michael Jordan While Signing An Autograph For Obama: Pfffffft, Fuck It
Okay, so there is no way to know for sure whether, "Pffffft, fuck it," is what Michael Jordan said to himself while misspelling Barack Obama's name on a birthday present for the goddamn President of the United States, but you wouldn't put it past him, would you?...
Gronk Catches A Bra, Pretends To Wear It, Signs It For A Fan
Human cloud of hookah smoke Rob Gronkowski did so much Gronk stuff during the Patriots' championship parade that video evidence of his antics are still trickling in almost a week later. In this clip, sent to us by reader Timothy, we see Gronk having a grand ol' time with a bra that someone in the cr...
Mason Plumlee Commits Ultimate Party Foul, Wrecks Entire Tray Of Beers
Nets big man Mason Plumlee couldn't hit the brakes fast enough before slamming into a Verizon Center waitress tonight, laying waste to her entire tray of beers. For front-row service at an NBA game, that's gotta be like $200 worth of suds, gone in a flash. Don't worry, Mason, we'll always have this....
Report: Catholic League Coach Mucked With College Prospects Of Rivals
The Neumann-Goretti High School (Philadelphia) girls basketball team is one of the best in the country, with an 18-0 record and currently ranked first by USA Today. Two of the team's players emigrated to the United States from Nigeria, and one of them, senior forward Christina Aborowa, signed a nati...
WMU Booster's Wife Sues Message Board Posters Over Fuck Rumors
There once was a time when anonymously spreading rumors about which booster's wife your local college football coach was banging was the birthright of every college football message board user, but times are changing. Now, that stuff can get you sued for defamation....
Borussia Dortmund Fans Are Fed Up
Borussia Dortmund's fans have finally reached their breaking point. Just 21 months ago they were watching their team barely lose in the Champions League Finals, and they haven't seen them finish worse than second in the Bundesliga since the 2009-10 season. This season Dortmund aren't merely strugg...
Diana Taurasi's Russian Team Is Paying Her To Skip The WNBA Season
Since the early 2000s, many WNBA players have also played for teams overseas. The WNBA season is only four months long, so they can effectively play for two teams in one year. They do this for the obvious reason: money. Brittney Griner, who was a WNBA sensation during her rookie season, was paid jus...
Is Manny Pacquiao's Promoter Sabotaging The Floyd Mayweather Fight?
For years, the biggest obstacle to a Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao superfight has been the fighters' management—Pacquiao's promoter, Bob Arum, in particular....
UMass Player Completely Blindsided By Crushing Screen
UMass guard Trey Davis is probably still upset with his teammates this morning, because not one of those assholes thought it would be a good idea to call out the screen and save him from getting planted into the hardwood by Kendall Pollard. ...
What Is This Batshit Anti-Nike, Anti-Kevin Durant Website?
This is just one of the many completely insane image macros that can currently be found at townofloveokc.publishpath.com. From what I can gather, this site is run by a crazy person who believes two things very strongly: Nike is an evil, Godless corporation, and Kevin Durant is the devil....
Sources: Jack Johnson's Parents Also Screwed Over His Grandfather
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson's parents have left their son with a mountain of debt, but this apparently wasn't the first time Jack Sr. and Tina Johnson took advantage of a family member. According to two sources with knowledge of the transaction, Johnson's parents secretly seize...