um Page 252 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fabio Aru Beats Tom Dumoulin To Win Vuelta a España
Tom Dumoulin was never supposed to be this close, and yet, for 19 stages, he was. The Vuelta a España is a cruel race full of steep ascents. The guys who win this race trend lighter and less well-rounded than Tour de France winners, simply because the parcours are a sadistic climbing party with few ...
BYU Wins Again Thanks To Fourth Down Desperation Pass
Last week, BYU’s Tanner Mangum hurled a hail mary to beat Nebraska. Tonight, he did it again—connecting with Mitchell Juergens in the end zone on fourth down to defeat the 20th-ranked Boise State Broncos....
Memphis Undoes Decision To Honor John Calipari After Fans Whine
Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this weekend for a career that has, over nearly 30 years, seen his teams advance to six Final Fours (two of them vacated) and win an NCAA title. Before Calipari coached Kentucky, however, he spent nine seasons ...
Jack Johnson Is Fighting For His Contract In Bankruptcy Court
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last October, after being scammed out of millions by his parents. Now, he’s attempting to convert his filing into a Chapter 7 case—which, in very broad terms, would allow Johnson to resolve his debts by liquidating his ass...
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Mexican TV Station Uses Donald Trump To Troll USMNT
The USMNT and Mexico are all set to square off next month in a crucial, one-off playoff for admission into the 2017 Confederations Cup in Russia. One Mexican TV station has pretty ingeniously cut up bits from a Donald Trump speech to predict America’s downfall. Here’s the TV spot:...
Bumble Gives Women The Power, But Men Love It Anyway
So Bumble is the new Hinge, which was the new Tinder, which was the new OkCupid. That’s what happens with dating apps: The cool new one inevitably gets overrun by creeps and BDSM enthusiasts, and a cooler, newer, better one comes along to weed out the riffraff and offer yet another gimmicky way to f...
Insert Jokes Here
We’re leaving this one up to the commenters. Do your best!...
Two Fans Go To The Hospital After Bolt Falls From Roof At Colts Game
Three fans were injured, and two taken to the hospital, after a bolt sheared off the roof of the Indianapolis Colts’ stadium during tonight’s preseason game against the Bengals. The accident occurred as the roof was being retracted just before halftime. ...
Scoundrel Mountain: The Sordid, Untold History Of The Pitching Mound
The modern Baseball pitcher utilizes myriad sleights of hand in his quest to fool and demoralize the slugger. Taunts, curses, incantations. Foreign substances added to the ball, including but not limited to urine and faeces (both human and animal) or reproductive fluids (both human and animal). Divi...
Someone Appears To Be Trying To Hoax The Marlins President Out Of His Job
When the Miami Marlins sent Marcell Ozuna to the minors on July 5, there was more in play than just giving the slumping third-year outfielder a chance “to get his rhythm back,” as Ozuna’s agent Scott Boras said he was told. Whether Ozuna becomes eligible for arbitration after this season or next dep...
"Iman" Is A Fine Name For Iman Shumpert's Daughter
Iman Shumpert and singer Teyana Taylor are having a baby. The Cleveland Cavalier posted the sonogram on his Instagram, and announced plans to name the girl Iman Shumpert Jr. Relax. It’s not a big deal....
Summer Movies 2015: <i>Mad Max</i> Rises, Adam Sandler Sinks
For all the talk about how summer movies are supposedly rotting everyone’s souls, this summer produced:...
Darren Rovell Says Racism Is Okay If The Market Approves; ESPNers Flee
Darren Rovell, a commemorative gift plate from the American Enterprise Institute that somehow talks and writes and uses social media, went there just now on Twitter, and it’s a sight to behold—a service to the nation, in its way. While a market fundamentalist with a neuron or two firing would probab...
Dumbass Has Dumb Thoughts On Paternity Leave
Hate clicks are still clicks, but John Stiegerwald — the dumbass columnist who blamed Bryan Stow for getting beaten up — was kind enough to post his rant against Trevor Rosenthal taking paternity leave on Facebook, where we won’t have to give him any uniques to read his impressive buffoonery....
Callum Wilson Overhead Kick Gives Bournemouth Lead On Leicester City
We noted here that AFC Bournemouth had the potential to be one of the Premiership’s most exciting clubs this season, and the Cherries haven’t let us down—with Callum Wilson’s acrobatic overhead kick putting his side up 1-0 in the first half today against Leicester City....