um Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Daily Olympic Schedule: July 28 - Day 2
In effort to save you the time that it takes to both find and decipher the NBC Olympics schedule while trying to figure out which events are even worth watching, we've created our own (better) daily schedule of Olympic events. All events are listed in Eastern Daylight Time (no math) at the time tha...

Here Is Your Handy Olympic Master Schedule
The Olympics are crazy. There are lots and lots of events at all hours of the day. But if NBC has its way, you'll learn about the events only a few minutes before you watch them, probably on tape-delay, with all the foreigners cut out. We at Deadspin don't want that to be the case! So we've assemble...

Iranian Olympian Comes Down With Mysterious Infection To Avoid Facing An Israeli
For 33 years, Iranian athletes have forfeited or withdrawn to avoid matching up against Israeli athletes in international competition. It was all supposed to change in London. Earlier this week, Bahram Afsharzadeh, the head of Iran's Olympic committee, said "we will be truthful to sport. We just fol...

Oh Look, Another Awesome Summer League Dunk
This one's from the South Carolina Pro-Am League, where last night UNC-Wilmington product Dominique Lacy just straight pushed some guy's shit in. Lacy last played with the unfortunately named Luxembourgian team BC Mess, so someone please give him a job in America. Is Slamball still around? [Slam]...

The Deadspin World Freedom Sports Index: Grading Countries On How Much They Allow Their Leaders To Suck At Sports
On the day of the Olympic Parade of Nations, let's consider the relationship between sports and national character. Every year, a few organizations release a list of the countries they think are the freest in the world, and in so doing make clear their own biases. The free-market wonks at the Herita...

Your Complete Guide To London's Creepy Brand Protection Policies
With the Olympics underway, so many nice folks—tourists, ticket scalpers, chemically enhanced athletes—will grace London. But so will unpleasant people, like the so-called Olympic brand police. Hundreds of "trading standards officers" are now stalking the streets, looking for anyone who might be en...

When Michael Phelps Was A 15-Year-Old Dork Olympian Who Kept Losing His Retainer
This is maybe not news, per se, but it's suprising how many people forget that Michael Phelps's last Olympics will actually be his fourth. Yes, before Phelps became America's greatest swimmer and most eligible doofus, he was a regular old 15-year-old doofus, just happy to be at the Sydney games....

The Hater's Guide To The 2012 London Summer Olympics
Greetings, Olympic fanboys! Or should I say ... TOP OF THE OLYMPICS TO YE?!! The London Olympics are here at long last, and I think we're all excited for 16 days of corrupt amateur sports, monumentally wasteful publicly funded infrastructure, and totalitarian branding guidelines. Also, I'm told ther...

SMU Player's House Burglarized By Prostitute He Refused To Pay
This happened way back in April, the night of the Mustangs' end-of-season banquet, but the police report is just surfacing now. Three SMU players returned to their off-campus home after the fancy dinner, only to find that someone had stolen $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games. One o...

Legally Blind Archer Breaks First World Record Of 2012 Olympics
Yes, the opening ceremonies come later today in London, but a handful of events are already underway, and there's already been a world record established....

Happy Girl, Sad Girl: Shawn Johnson And Dominique Moceanu Tell The Two Stories People Want From Their Sport
American coverage of women's gymnastics falls squarely into one of two camps: tales of plucky, lovable teens wearing their perma-smiles to the winners' podium, or exposés of the sport's seedy underbelly, of eating disorders, abusive training methods, of cruel coaches and broken bodies. It's either N...

This Photo Of Team USA Sleeping On An Airplane Is The Best Thing Today
Kevin Love surreptitiously snapped this and posted it to Instagram, as Team USA flew from Barcelona to London last night. From right to left, front to back, that's LeBron James, Chris Paul, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, Deron Williams, Anthony Davis, and even Mike Kryzyzewski, back in business cl...

We Will Go On Believing That The Olympians Crashed Grindr, Despite What Grindr Says
A couple of days ago, the gay cruising app Grindr crashed in London around the same time Olympians arrived. This is an entirely plausible cause-and-effect that admits no other explanation strictly on account of its sheer gay awesomeness....

Olympic Swimmers Already Humping, Or Possibly Preparing To Hump, Australian Newspapers Report
The Hot Sexxxy Olympics of Sex don't officially begin until tomorrow, with all the hot sexy athlete sex, but some Olympians aren't even waiting for the opening ceremony to start sexing at the Sexlympics. ALLEGEDLY MAYBE....

Osi Umenyiora Thinks RG3 Should Be Called Plain Old "Bob Griffin"
Osi Umenyiora is no stranger to antagonizing his NFC East foes. But yesterday on WFAN, he shifted his aim further down I-95, to a certain can't-miss superstar quarterback:...

How Football May Have Killed A 17-Year-Old Boy
Earlier this week, the Washingtonian published a haunting story about Austin Trenum, a high school football player who killed himself just days after suffering a concussion during one of his games. Here's a sampling:...

Umpire Cancels Little League Game When Coach Won't Stop Arguing
This video, unfortunately, only shows the last few seconds of a little league coach's tirade against the ump. According to witnesses, it went on for a lot longer than this, and included "belittling [his own team] and swearing while describing the way they played." That's an awful lot of buttmad fo...

Skip Schumaker Got Fisted By A Teammate After The Cardinals' Walk-Off Win
The Cardinals were, understandably, very excited about with their 3-2 walk-off win over the Dodgers tonight. Unfortunately, Skip Schumaker, who had no part to play in the outcome other than striking out in the bottom of the 12th, was on the receiving end of a pumped-up Kyle Lohse, who pitched seve...

Olympics Field Guide: The Embattled (And First-Ever) United States Women's Boxing Team
Names: Marlen Esparza, Claressa Shields, and Quanitta "Queen" Underwood...

Greek Olympian Banned For Racist Twitter Joke
If we learned anything from Euro 2012, it's that Euros can be casually racist on a stunning level. But how about some casual racism infecting the Olympic spirit? Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou will not be going to London, just two days after a tweet that seems to have sent the whole nation i...