um Page 373 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joel Zumaya Is Just Like The Undertaker
Sometimes we forget that the men we watch and obsess over on the baseball diamond are mostly children themselves, not just in age, but in a state of perpetual arrested development. They are gleeful imps, lucky to be allowed to frolic for a living....
Cultural Oddsmaker: What'll Be The Next Disgusting Act During A Sporting Event?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Do Not Judge Trump Until You've Walked A Mile In His Hair
Donald Trump's hair is back in the news, this time putting its very existence on the line in some sort of bet with not-crazy-in-the-least WWE frontman Vince McMahon. It's actually a pretty boring proposition; if McMahon's chosen wrestler wins the match, The Donald must shave his head. If Trump's goo...
My Mother The Ump
Keith Hernandez has been curiously silent about Ria Cortesio, who on Thursday will become the first female umpire to work a Major League baseball game since 1989. Likewise, Cornbread Maxwell could not be reached for comment, as Cortesio, 30, will work the bases for an exhibition game between the Dia...
The Minooka School System Throws Down The Beat
Note to grade school physical education teachers: If you're putting together a mix CD of upbeat songs for your annual fifth grade jump rope fundraiser, make sure that "I'm in Love With a Stripper," by Gangsta Grillz isn't one of them....
The Anticlimactic Retirement of Jake Plummer
I didn't believe Jake Plummer when he said he was considering retiring. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I was looking forward to many more years of exciting, high-level Jake-the-Snake football... but I sort of doubt that....
The Money's Out There, You Pick It Up, It's Yours
Let's get caught up again with the orgy of NFL free agent activity. If you're an NFL player, and your agent couldn't work it out so you were a free agent this off-season, you should probably fire him....
Jake Plummer Will Spread Peace Everywhere But Tampa Bay
You've probably heard by now that Jake Plummer threatened to retire from the NFL just as the Broncos were attempting to trade him to Tampa Bay. Jake is serious with the retirement talk, according to those close to him, and he just might spend that retirement making the world a better place. Via Mich...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be The Least Popular During ESPN The Weekend?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think....
Well, That Was A Bit Of A Letdown
Whether she was channeling Bruce Pearl or Minnie Pearl, Pat Summitt's antics before the Tennessee men's game on Tuesday was the least offensive aspect of the evening, as it turns out. When one considers that Dick Vitale was there, and that Peyton Manning was in the crowd singing, viewers should cons...
Ready For Some Good, Old-Fashioned College Basketball Nightmare Fuel?
Note to Bruce Pearl: There's such a thing as overselling an event, as may be the case tonight when Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt is supposed to appear at the men's game against No. 5 Florida and "do something special." Pearl (personal motto: Dignity, Always Dignity), the Tennessee m...
Joumana Kidd Goes Nuclear On Jason
So, you know how the whole New Jersey Nets brass was concerned about how ugly the Jason Kidd-Joumana Kidd divorce proceedings might get? Well, The Smoking Gun has Joumana's countersuit to Jason's suit against her, and, holy cow, this thing really escalated fast. It's a huge document, so we're just g...
Finally, A Worthwhile Video Moment In Ice Jumping
From With Leather comes this brutal video of ski jumper — who will surely be beaten for his poor performance — Jan Mazoch having a little difficult with his jump over the weekend. He's currently in stable condition, which seems like too facile a word for what happens in this video....
Ice Jumping Seems To Be Rather Important In Norway
As you might have suspected, we do not speak Norwegian; we're not even that fluent in Swedish Chef. So we're going from a rough translation here, but apparently a Norwegian women's ski jumping team is in trouble for punishing poor jumps by punching the offender in the face....
Joumana Kidd Has Much Havoc Left To Wreak
Adrian Wojnarowski's column a couple of days ago on Joumana Kidd and the shitstorm she's about to dump on the New Jersey Nets organization contained this fascinating tidbit:...
Man, We Totally Forgot They Were Razing Yankee Stadium
Buster Olney — whom, though we occasionally make fun of him, does pretty solid work over there — reported this morning that Yankee Stadium will host the All-Star Game in 2008, the final year before the historic-mostly-as-a-70s-relic stadium shuffles off this architectural coil. (Incidentally, our ou...
Big Ben's Friends In Idiotic Places
Want to know why Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger had such an awful 2006? We have a theory: He has become friends with Donald freaking Trump....
Your SHOTY Winner: Barbaro
All right, well, after nearly two months of voting, we finally have a winner of the 2006 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament ... and, alas, it is not a human....
SHOTY Final: Chris Berman Vs. Barbaro
Well, while we were gone, the late rush of Barbaro votes came in, and he edged out Carl Monday right after the new year, sending him into the final with, of course, Chris Berman, who has yet to be challenged. We suspect he's in for one now....