um Page 389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Open Season On Charlie Weis
The Charlie Weis / Notre Dame pile-on continues, gloriously. Some of it is justified, like criticism of how the school has handled the Demetrius Jones situation. (They're making him pay for school at Northern Illinois this year by not releasing him from his scholarship.) And some of it is really jus...
The Yankees 2 1/2 Games Back? Inconceivable!
Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance wi...
My Urban Dictionary Says This Is Funny ...
Mr. Irrelevant, Jamie Mottram, forwarded me this gem at 8:30 am this morning. Yes, eight-thirty. Jamie Mottram was so damn excited to show me a photo of two WV Mountaineer defensive ends forming the largest dingleberry in the world that he couldn't even sleep. No wonder this guy is successful....
Is It Wrong To Do It With An Opposing Team's Fan?
To this day, our favorite ESPN commercial remains the one where the male Ohio State fan and the female Michigan fans make out with each other. There's something primal about our reaction to it; it seems grotesque, somehow, like cousins French kissing, or a dog doing it with a sheep. Sleeping with yo...
You Should See His ... Well, You Know
Cricket is a man's sport. You don't tend the wickets without paying the price, as Engalnd's Dave Morrison shows here in that bastion of journalism integrity and excellence, The Sun. Actually I know nothing of cricket, or the British health care system, but one thing I do know: Dave gives the best e...
Inside The Yankee Stadium Proposal Prank
Click to view Last week, the kids at College Humor pulled off what we'd have to consider a prank of epic proportions; one guy put a fake marriage proposal on the big screen at Yankee Stadium as his friend, the object of the prank, sat agape with his girlfriend, who, amazingly, said "yes" before he ...
It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...
About Last Night
What you missed while living the dream ... • MLB: Jake Peavy's meltdown brought to you by the number 3. Diamondbacks 9, Padres 6. • Tennis: Roddick helpless to stop Federer Express at U.S. Open. • WNBA: Pure Shock Value ... Detroit beats Phoenix in playoff finals in highest-scoring game in league hi...
I Don't Care What the Calendar Says, Today Begins Fall
• 10:00 am — Soccer: Fulham vs. Tottenham Hotspur [FSC] • 11:00 am — Tennis: U.S. Open, Men's and Women's Third Round [CBS] • Noon — Soccer: Manchester United vs. Sunderland [FSC] • Noon — College Football(!!!): UAB at Michigan State (!!!) [ESPN2] • Noon — College Football: East Carolina at Virginia...
How In The Heck Will He Wash His Neck If He Doesn't Have One?
Many of us are blessed, in that we were born with all of our body parts, some of which we didn't know existed until after a rigorous workout. Occasionally you hear about someone who lost a leg, like Neil Parry, who returns from intense physical rehab to again play Division I football. But a story wh...
What's The Next Scrotum-Ripping Situation To Happen Between Rival Sports Fans?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets
This is Marques Slocum, defensive tackle for the Michigan Wolverines. He has a Facebook page. And it's quite glorious....
What to Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally come to (25 cent beers will do that to you)... • 7:00 pm — US Championships in Gymnastics [NBC] • 8:00 pm — Sunday Night Football: Giants at Ravens [NBC] • 8:00 pm — Sunday Night Baseball: Cardinals at Cubs [ESPN] -Metschick Ever say something over a year ago in the comm...
A Problem Bob Knight Will Never Have
We try not to get too caught in domestic intranquility here — life is messy and ugly sometimes, and it hardly seems something to revel in unless it involves a Christie — but since we were late on it yesterday, and it involves a coaching legend who happens to have a stadium named after her, we feel o...
About That "Racist Umpire" Study
You remember that NBA refs-are-racists study from a few months ago? Well, if you thought baseball — a sport that's never had any racism, ever — was immune from that, wrong wrong wrong, you....
Our Rick Ankiel Weekend
It really has been bizarre to watch the reaction to Rick Ankiel's triumphant return to St. Louis as a power-hitting outfielder. We understand that it's an inspiring story — obviously — but it's still odd to see a guy we've been quietly stalking following for seven years now suddenly leading newscast...
Sergio Garcia's Mind, It Likes To Wander
Have we picked on Sergio Garcia enough this weekend? Indeed we have, but just as you can never have enough bacon, you can never try hard enough to destroy the psyche of an athlete whose sport is 90 percent mental. But maybe we don't need to do any of the work. The Sports Elitists recounts a Sergio ...