um Page 376 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joumana Kidd Has Much Havoc Left To Wreak
Adrian Wojnarowski's column a couple of days ago on Joumana Kidd and the shitstorm she's about to dump on the New Jersey Nets organization contained this fascinating tidbit:...

Man, We Totally Forgot They Were Razing Yankee Stadium
Buster Olney — whom, though we occasionally make fun of him, does pretty solid work over there — reported this morning that Yankee Stadium will host the All-Star Game in 2008, the final year before the historic-mostly-as-a-70s-relic stadium shuffles off this architectural coil. (Incidentally, our ou...

Big Ben's Friends In Idiotic Places
Want to know why Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger had such an awful 2006? We have a theory: He has become friends with Donald freaking Trump....

Your SHOTY Winner: Barbaro
All right, well, after nearly two months of voting, we finally have a winner of the 2006 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament ... and, alas, it is not a human....

SHOTY Final: Chris Berman Vs. Barbaro
Well, while we were gone, the late rush of Barbaro votes came in, and he edged out Carl Monday right after the new year, sending him into the final with, of course, Chris Berman, who has yet to be challenged. We suspect he's in for one now....

The Bodily Functions Of Bryant Gumbel
What better way to spend New Years than trying to figure out if it was really Bryant Gumbel that you heard belching during last night's Redskins/Giants game? At a couple of points during the broadcast, some miscellaneous belches were heard coming from the booth. Pro Football Talk (those guys are tho...

One More Post Until It's Time to Start Drinking
Bah, I suck at timestamps. Those of you who've already seen the last post, well, sorry about that. I also suck at millitary time. Anyway, here's some news that I found troubling if only because I thought she was dead:...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Barbaro
And here we are, the matchup we are personally most curious about, the one featuring the infamous Carl Monday and good ole Barbaro, who would be a late charger if only his hoof would grow. We have been looking forward to this one since this got started....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Harold Reynolds
All right, here we are: It's time for the Final Four. We have our ESPN side of the bracket, and then our Masturbator Locator Vs. Horse side of the bracket. All four candidates are worthy. It's time for some tough decisions, people....

Last Call For All SHOTY Voting
Tomorrow, the finals of the Sportshuman Of The Year tournament begin, and there's still some rather tight matchups. The semifinals themselves will run throughout the holiday season, and we'll continue with the finals on January 4, when we come back from vacation (which we'll also get into later this...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Barbaro Vs. Ben Roethlisberger
We're to our final quarterfinal matchup, with the semis taking place next week in a torrent of voting mania. (Or something.) We encourage you all to vote on the extremely tight Mariotti-Reynolds matchup. First, a reminder of the bracket....

Joel Zumaya Puts His Life In Rock's Hands
Remember in the American League Championship Series, when flamethrowing, red-eyeballed righthander Joel Zumaya was sidelined with a "right wrist and forearm inflammation?" It turned out not to matter, because the Tigers blitzed the A's in four games, but had there been some tighter games late, it co...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Jay Mariotti Vs. Harold Reynolds
We return to the SHOTY Tournament, with the final two quarterfinal matchups, today and Thursday. Of all the Elite Eight matchups, we think this might end up the closest. (The first two have been runaways, though you can still vote.) First, a reminder of the bracket....

'I Regret Nothinnnnnggggggg!'
On the list of things we would never attempt, right after "Barbaro message board moderator" and right before "poking Larry Allen with a sharp stick" comes this. It's base jumping, of course, but these batshit insane daring thrill-seekers have added a couple of twists over the past two years. No. 1 i...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Stephen A. Smith
All right: Time for the next step in the Elite Eight. This thing is gonna fly by now, by the way; the final two Elite Eight matchups will be next week, and then it's Final Four time, and then, jeez, then this whole virtual construction is completed. To remind you, here's the bracket (Berman's got a ...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Matt Leinart
At last: The first round is over, and we have our eight winners. For all the talk of potential upsets and the supposed mis-seeding of certain competitors, there was only one first round "upset": Stephen A. Smith took down Ozzie Guillen, and that was a shaky seed in the first place....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Barbaro Vs. Lamar Thomas
All right, we know this is supposed to just run Tuesdays and Thursdays, but we decided that we were too eager to finally get this first round overwith so we can start the second round tomorrow. (SI's curious pick of Mr. Wade made us decide to speed up the process a bit.) So, this is the final first ...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Ozzie Guillen Vs. Stephen A. Smith
Just two more first-round matchups left until the Elite Eight, and we've got a potential barnburner here today. (Does anyone other than Musberger use "barnburner" anymore? We like the term.)...

You Cannot Hide From Lance Armstrong
Far be it from us to insinuate that Lance Armstrong is still in the heads of the French cycling establishment, but now they're accusing him of breaking into their email....

Jake Plummer Has No Qualms About Doing This Again
Everybody has a cross to bear. Some of us were always picked last in kickball and still harbor resentment about it. Some of us have a lifelong fear of spiders, or horses, or, say, snakes. Some of us become never-nudes. We all have to overcome something....