um Page 378 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Many Happy Independence Day Returns
We're ducking out a half hour early today — which, mind you, is about three days later than just about everyone we know ducked out of their jobs — because tonight, of course, is the big Deadspin outing at RFK Stadium, and we have to make sure our tuxedo is back from the dry cleaners....
Jake Plummer, Terror On The Road
It's easy to forget now, but for a while there last year, Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer was having a pretty cool year. The Broncos had the best record in football, some were touting him as an MVP candidate and some even thought he could lead the team to the Super Bowl. And then the blowout and ...
You're With Us, Shameless Consumerism
Someone emailed us today letting us know that, for their birthday, their friend was buying them one of the "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirts. We were touched and honored by this, though, to be fair, it doesn't take much to touch or honor us....
It's A Brand New Yard In St. Louis
To put it less eloquently than Cardinals Diaspora, today our beloved St. Louis Cardinals begin officially making people like us — who wax nostalgic about the old Busch Stadium — into blathering old farts. In about five minutes, the new Busch Stadium hosts its first game, with the Cardinals playing t...
The New New Busch Stadium
With all the stories going on right now — Bonds, Roger Clemens' dry cleaning, Anna Benson's shifting views on fidelity — the question that affects us the most deeply is: What's the new Busch Stadium going to look like? Our beloved Cardinals move into a new stadium this year, and though the big lea...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Rosie DiManno
We don't know what the Canadian eqivalent is of the Navy SEALS, but whatever agency trains underwater commandos in the Great White North probably has Rosie DiManno on their payroll. It takes strong lung capacity to read a DiManno column — even silently. Try this typical passage (warning: take a la...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Peter Vecsey
Forgive the analogy, but it occurred to us that a Peter Vecsey column is a lot like going hunting with Dick Cheney. If you're loud and obnoxious enough to scare the little critters out of hiding and keep loudly blasting away, you're bound to hit something eventually. And those innocent people who ...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bob Sansevere
The St. Paul Pioneer-Press has an annual contest called "Average Joe Columnist," in which a field of 16 non-journalists submit sports articles, and are judged American Idol-style by sports editor Mike Bass and columnist Bob Sansevere. The latter, it seems, fancies himself in the Simon Cowell role — ...
Man, Tommy Maddox Has Really Let Himself Go
You know, we understand that beards are the big thing in the NFL playoffs right now, but honestly, we had no idea this guy was a starting quarterback in the AFC Championship Game on Sunday. (He's from the World Beard Championships, in case you were wondering.)...
The Broncos' Secret Success Ratio
As evidenced by our 3-5 record of predicting playoff games so far (straight up, no spread), we're notoriously lousy at pigskin prognostication. It's not like this has been the easiest postseason to predict anyway; we can only think of one prediction system that would have led to a correct Steelers...
Jake Plummer, Buzzsaw Soul Crusher
As we enter in to the biggest week of Denver quarterback Jake Plummer's life, leading up to the AFC Championship Game hosting the Pittsburgh Steelers, we feel obliged, as the only fans of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals on the planet, to ask: How in the hell is this guy a game away from ...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Steve Serby
Yes, he once wrote that "if Tom Brady were a politician, he'd be JFK." OK, he once, on assignment at the 2001 Super Bowl, wrote an entire column off of radio quotes. OK, sure, he's at times jingoistic, hackneyed and wishy-washy. Yeah, yeah, it's true that Jets' quarterback Richard Todd once smacke...
The End Of Shaq Is Nigh
We couldn't have been more thoroughly depressed by last night's Lakers-Heat matchup, otherwise known as Shaq-Kobe II (or IV, or whatever). Aside from the much-heralded but mostly boring "peace accord" between Shaq and Kobe, and aside from the game itself (the Lakers finally beat Shaq), we were dow...
NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...
Blogdome: Pretending There Are Things In The World Other Than Football
• On Wednesday, Louisville forward Chad Millard has part of his jaw crushed, three teeth knocked out, and needed dental surgery. And he's in the line-up today. I can't relate. [Pitt Panther Hoops]...
Ah, the Joys of Baseball Trade Rumors
We're admittedly a little tingly about this rumored Abreu-for-Manny-for-Miggy scuttlebutt that's been tossed around, oh, the last couple months. As a Philly fan, it'd be easy to see the town completely embracing Ramirez. Granted, they'll get on him about that whole "hustle" thing, but the same com...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Randy Galloway
Out on the plains of Texas, the setting for John Ford westerns and Cindy Sheehan protest vigils, there once lived a writer who had a lot of promise. He was the kind of a man who would look you square in the eye and tell you want he thought, and be damned entertaining about it in the process. But s...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Steve Kelley
"Steve Kelley looked at his column. He had only one sentence so far, so he hit the "enter" key and described it. Then he did that for the second sentence, and he was three paragraphs in. Soon, his column-inch target would be met. But not soon enough for Kelley." Our thanks to DMZ at U.S.S.Mari...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Dan Le Batard
We've never met Dan Le Batard, but this is how we picture him: green makeup, pointy hat, always carries a broom. He's looking into a crystal ball, wherein a typical Miami Herald reader is stuck, motioning helplessly, calling: "Dorothy? Where are you?" Le Batard cackles, and flying monkeys then fil...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Roger Brown
OK, it's just time to say it: Roger Brown makes stuff up. That's the word on the street anyway. When a veteran Northeast Ohio sportswriter such as Hal Lebovitz (and when we say "veteran," we mean "was the last person to interview Custer") levels the charge, we tend to give it weight. Said the late...