um Page 379 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roy Oswalt, Ditch Digger
The night Roy Oswalt dominated the Cardinals and took a metaphorical bulldozer to Busch Stadium. Apparently, that night, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised he would, if he beat the Cardinals, buy Oswalt a Caterpillar D6N XL bulldozer. Well, Oswalt, as you might remember, kicked ass that night....
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Skip Bayless
We've been doing this feature for a while now, but this is the first time we've dressed in a tux to write it. Featuring Skip Bayless on Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks is like having a play open on Broadway. Which play? Springtime For Hitler comes to mind — a subject so rancid, it can't help but...
The Daily Destruction Of Busch
The saddest thing we've seen all day — and it's not even 11 — is this time lapse progression of the destruction of Busch Stadium, run daily since the last game in October....
Give Us Your Best Skip Bayless Stories
We've received a lot of feedback about our selection of The Boston Globe's Bob Ryan as today's bad hometown columnist, which can be broken down into the following percentages:...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bob Ryan
By all accounts, Bob Ryan was once a good writer. But then something happened. The molten lava, burning his features. The painful reconstruction. The cryptic words: "Rise, Lord Vader." Yes, Bob Ryan's journey to the dark side is now complete. With his ubiquitous presence on Around the Horn and Par...
Jake Plummer, The New Cher
You had heard all about the (ultimately successful) petition to bring back Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer's moustache, and, if you're like us, you might have thought, hey, as long as he's giving mustache rides to cheerleaders, all is pretty much fine....
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Peter Kerasotis
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. Yes, you read that correctly. Wisdom. How did Charles Dickens miss the boat on this whole one-sentence paragraph thing? Clearly today's breed of sportswriters are far better wordsmiths than the old quill pen-and-in...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: C.W. Nevius
And now it's time for a new category: columnists who left sports to write for the living section but still manage to write about sports most of the time. Frankly, we're not sure why C.W. Nevius left the sports pages of the San Francisco Chronicle to begin with, but one day we looked there and he w...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Stephen A. Smith
We're not even going to get into his show on ESPN, which we've well-documented elsewhere. We are here to discuss the many sins of Stephen A. Smith the writer, the columnist. The man absolutely refuses to back up any of his written assertions with sources or facts. A guy who routinely sends in colu...
For The Cardinals Fan Who Has Everything
From online sports memorabilia site Lelands.com comes the perfect gift for anyone who just can't say goodbye to Busch Stadium....
Boy Meets Goat Meets Trampoline
Sure, we know what you're thinking: Another story about a goat and a trampoline. But this one is different — the goats (two, actually) are pets of a 12-year-old boy in Miami Township, Ohio, who has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The county is trying to evict the animals due to a zoning ...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Jim Souhan
OK, we surrender. The white flag you see waving above the rubble means that we're coming out peacefully, kicking several weeks worth of Jim Souhan columns ahead of us. That's it, you've taken all the fight out of us. We have freaking had it with writing like Souhan's — the tortured prose; the slop...
Last Day Of Busch
In about an hour and a half, at 4 p.m. ET, the first wrecking ball will hit Busch Stadium, smashing into Busch's southwest corner. From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: "Its first victim will be a section of the ring of arches, the signature crown that made Busch instantly recognizable."...
Something To Make Cardinals Fans All Sniffly
(Photo via Viva El Birdos, where you can actually see it much better.)...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bob Kravitz
OK, our problem with Bob Kravitz isn't that he's a terrible writer. (He isn't.) It's that too often he phones it in. No, check that — he often doesn't even bother to phone, instead stuffing his column into the backpack of a mental patient, who then wanders in the general direction of the Indianapo...
Bob Broeg, R.I.P.
If you'll indulge us a little here, we have to comment on the passing of longtime St. Louis Post-Dispatch reporter Bob Broeg. He covered St. Louis sports — and, of course, the Cardinals — for 60 years, starting out as the beat reporter for the St. Louis Browns. He wrote more than 20 books about St. ...
Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Umpires
Umpire Joe West was the crew chief for the World Series that just ended and apparently nobody watched. Cowboy Joe West ... hey, that's the same guy!...
Previewing The Inevitable Umpiring Fiascos
As mentioned regularly here, we're not that much into gambling, mainly because we find watching sports stressful enough without our parents' rent check riding on it, but thankfully our pals at Oddjack has a stronger taste for vice than we do. And he has unearthed a useful tidbit today, one we've a...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bud Poliquin
There must be a school out there, some sort of Hogwarts-inspired academy where columnists go to learn the art of lousy column writing. It can't just be a coincidence that our worst sports columnists, people such as Woody Paige, Jay Mariotti and this week's featured guest, Bud Poliquin, are all see...
Sad, Drunk Cardinals Fans (Aren't They All?)
As the process of destroying Busch Stadium begins in earnest — that picture was taken yesterday; that large object in the outfield is not, in fact, Larry Walker — a reader sends us this pretty awesome video of two drunken, crying Cardinals fans as they refused to leave Busch Stadium after the NLCS...