ump Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
According To Donald Trump Jr., Donald Trump Jr. Is A World-Class CrossFit Athlete
CrossFit is a program dedicated to its rituals. The intense, pan-disciplinary workout regimen practiced by thousands of Americans in WODKILLA t-shirts maintains a healthy competitive scene, and practitioners routinely compete in segmented workouts. One such workout is known as the Murph. It’s named ...
Report: Michigan State Banned Texans' Keith Mumphery From Campus For Violating Sexual Misconduct Policy
Current Houston Texans and former Michigan State receiver Keith Mumphery is banned from his alma mater’s campus until 2019 as the result of a university investigation into a report of sexual assault, the Detroit Free Press reported today. The ban was a stipulation of Mumphery’s 2016 expulsion from M...
Proposed Trump Budget Would Cripple The Overworked Office Enforcing Title IX
The federal office that investigates universities accused of discriminating against female students—including reports that schools are intentionally ignoring or downplaying allegations of sexual violence—is poised to lose 46 full-time employees under the proposed Trump administration budget, or 8 pe...
Colorado President To Decide If Mike MacIntyre Will Be Punished For Failing To Report Assistant's Alleged Abuse
The Daily Camera reported Tuesday that Colorado’s board of regents elected to have president Bruce Benson determine the form of any punishment action taken against head football coach Mike MacIntyre, athletic director Rick George, and chancellor Phil DiStefano for actively choosing not to report all...
The ORB Is Your New King
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Fox News Pays Tribute To Roger Ailes By Putting The Worst Possible Shit On TV Today
The Fox News Specialists, the new Fox program that gave the world Joe Namath yakking about Syria with Karl Rove, has blessed us again. Yapping cheshire cat and First Take host Stephen A. Smith linked up with apartheid apologist Ted Nugent on another edition of the show this afternoon, and the two sp...
All That's Left To Say Is That The President Is A Big Dummy
Donald Trump is a very stupid dumbass. Like even for a pampered inheritance baby, he’s exceptionally dumb! Just a big idiot. His brain came out of a can with the word “Hormel” on it. He’s stupider than shit. A stiff breeze could beat him at checkers....
Trump Won't Exercise For Fear Of Depleting His Body's Finite Store Of Energy
It’s not surprising that an artificially-hued, overweight 70-year-old with a terrifying lack of self-control and a noted penchant for fast food doesn’t hit the gym regularly. It somehow is surprising, though, that he has a characteristically smug and preposterous explanation....
Gregg Popovich Offers Yet Another Eloquent Criticism Of Donald Trump
A few hours before Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich shared some characteristically witty thoughts on subjects ranging from the play of Patty Mills (“the more good things I say about him, the more we’re going to have to pay him”) to whether he watched Sa...
Orlando TV Guy Says He Knows Who The Nude Man Humping A Shark Is
The identity of the nude man humping a shark has been partially revealed, per Orlando’s David Pingalore of CBS affiliate WKMG. The sports director appeared on Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi’s radio show Open Mike today, and shared what he knew about the shark humper, who is allegedly a form...
Here's Some Extremely White Shit
If you can think of something whiter than a college lacrosse team entering the field to an EDM track remixed with a Donald Trump speech in which the soundbite poorly aligns with the beat, spill it. Until then, this is the reigning champion....
Do You Think The Cavs Are Worried About The Celtics Or Wizards?
Let’s check in....
The FBI Was Never Going To Save The Republic You Dolt<em></em>
A few minutes ago, this blog post was very long. I’d been working on it all day! It was like 1,200 words long and I wasn’t half finished. Then I deleted all that shit, because actually, what’s true and worth saying about Donald Trump’s surprise firing of FBI director James Comey is pretty simple....
Vladimir Putin, In Full Hockey Gear, Comments On Trump's Firing Of James Comey
Russian President Vladimir Putin sometimes entertains himself by getting decked out in hockey gear and forcing other people to skate around him and pretend to play defense while he scores a bunch of goals. He did that in Sochi today, but before taking the ice he was confronted by a CBS reporter who ...
Jim McElwain Elaborates On How He's Not The Nude Man Humping A Shark
The University of Florida told Deadspin Monday that head football coach Jim McElwain was not the nude man humping a shark in a photo that made its way around the internet over the weekend. The coach was asked again about it Tuesday at a speaking engagement....
Rockies Serve Cheap Swill To Appease Cubs Fans
Whenever the Cubs travel to Denver to play the Rockies, the stadium is full of Cubs fans. This is just a part of life—Cubs fans are everywhere at all times, and especially in Colorado, where fans were forced to turn to WGN for shitty Cubs baseball in the days before they had their own team—and nothi...
Jimmy John's Says That's Not Jimmy John Nude And Humping A Shark
On Monday, Florida football coach Jim McElwain said he was not the naked man photographed straddling a shark on a boat. Today, the Jimmy John’s sandwich chain told Deadspin that the nude shark humper also isn’t owner Jimmy John Liautaud....
Jim McElwain Says That's Not Him Nude And Humping A Shark<em></em>
Over the weekend, a photo of a grinning, completely naked man hugging a shark on a boat made the rounds. U.K.-based wildlife TV presenter Anneka Svenska was one of the more notable people who shared the photo:...
Nonsensical Ejection Caps Off Red Sox-Orioles Beef In Dumbest Way Possible
The Red Sox and Orioles have engaged in quite the skirmish over the past week and change, repeatedly throwing baseballs at each other and glowering just enough to get Rob Manfred to step in and tell them to cool it. By the time the commissioner gets involved in a confrontation like this, it’s usuall...