ump Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Trump Won't Exercise For Fear Of Depleting His Body's Finite Store Of Energy
It’s not surprising that an artificially-hued, overweight 70-year-old with a terrifying lack of self-control and a noted penchant for fast food doesn’t hit the gym regularly. It somehow is surprising, though, that he has a characteristically smug and preposterous explanation....
Gregg Popovich Offers Yet Another Eloquent Criticism Of Donald Trump
A few hours before Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich shared some characteristically witty thoughts on subjects ranging from the play of Patty Mills (“the more good things I say about him, the more we’re going to have to pay him”) to whether he watched Sa...
Orlando TV Guy Says He Knows Who The Nude Man Humping A Shark Is
The identity of the nude man humping a shark has been partially revealed, per Orlando’s David Pingalore of CBS affiliate WKMG. The sports director appeared on Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi’s radio show Open Mike today, and shared what he knew about the shark humper, who is allegedly a form...
Here's Some Extremely White Shit
If you can think of something whiter than a college lacrosse team entering the field to an EDM track remixed with a Donald Trump speech in which the soundbite poorly aligns with the beat, spill it. Until then, this is the reigning champion....
Do You Think The Cavs Are Worried About The Celtics Or Wizards?
Let’s check in....
The FBI Was Never Going To Save The Republic You Dolt<em></em>
A few minutes ago, this blog post was very long. I’d been working on it all day! It was like 1,200 words long and I wasn’t half finished. Then I deleted all that shit, because actually, what’s true and worth saying about Donald Trump’s surprise firing of FBI director James Comey is pretty simple....
Vladimir Putin, In Full Hockey Gear, Comments On Trump's Firing Of James Comey
Russian President Vladimir Putin sometimes entertains himself by getting decked out in hockey gear and forcing other people to skate around him and pretend to play defense while he scores a bunch of goals. He did that in Sochi today, but before taking the ice he was confronted by a CBS reporter who ...
Jim McElwain Elaborates On How He's Not The Nude Man Humping A Shark
The University of Florida told Deadspin Monday that head football coach Jim McElwain was not the nude man humping a shark in a photo that made its way around the internet over the weekend. The coach was asked again about it Tuesday at a speaking engagement....
Rockies Serve Cheap Swill To Appease Cubs Fans
Whenever the Cubs travel to Denver to play the Rockies, the stadium is full of Cubs fans. This is just a part of life—Cubs fans are everywhere at all times, and especially in Colorado, where fans were forced to turn to WGN for shitty Cubs baseball in the days before they had their own team—and nothi...
Jimmy John's Says That's Not Jimmy John Nude And Humping A Shark
On Monday, Florida football coach Jim McElwain said he was not the naked man photographed straddling a shark on a boat. Today, the Jimmy John’s sandwich chain told Deadspin that the nude shark humper also isn’t owner Jimmy John Liautaud....
Jim McElwain Says That's Not Him Nude And Humping A Shark<em></em>
Over the weekend, a photo of a grinning, completely naked man hugging a shark on a boat made the rounds. U.K.-based wildlife TV presenter Anneka Svenska was one of the more notable people who shared the photo:...
Nonsensical Ejection Caps Off Red Sox-Orioles Beef In Dumbest Way Possible
The Red Sox and Orioles have engaged in quite the skirmish over the past week and change, repeatedly throwing baseballs at each other and glowering just enough to get Rob Manfred to step in and tell them to cool it. By the time the commissioner gets involved in a confrontation like this, it’s usuall...
Who's Tired Of All The Winning?
Wednesday evening, after a round of the familiar, incoherent “Do this or I’ll shoot my own dick off” bluster and 10-miles-from-the-brinkmanship, the White House quietly signaled it would continue making insurance subsidy payments under the Affordable Care Act, to avoid a government shutdown. ...
The Patriots Want You To Know That Photos Didn't Capture Their Players' Snub Of The White House
On Wednesday the New York Times sports desk tweeted out two group photos of the New England Patriots at the White House, one from their post-championship visit with then-President Barack Obama in 2015, the other from yesterday’s visit with President Donald Trump. Lots of people, including us, jumped...
Donald Trump Celebrates His Very Good Friends, The Patriots, With A Dull Party<em></em><em></em>
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tom Brady was taking the day off....
Umpire CB Bucknor Is Having A Bad Week
On Tuesday, umpire CB Bucknor made an absolutely inexplicable call when he ruled Chase d’Arnaud’s game-ending strikeout as a foul tip and gave the Braves a second chance at beating the Nationals. Last night, he almost did it again, but was saved by fellow umpires....
See If You Can Spot The Difference Between These Photos
This idea is shamelessly stolen from the Times’ sports desk....
Mic-ing Umpires Doesn't Solve Anything
The biggest issue with mic-ing up umpire crews to explain replay decisions, which the Associated Press reports is potentially in the works, is that it’s simply not necessary. At a time when streamlining baseball games, especially the inactive parts, is seemingly of paramount concern to the commissio...
Barron Trump Is A Gooner
At this point, the only foreign policy position I’m interested in hearing from the White House is whether Barron is or is not #WengerOut....
Citing Family Reasons, Tom Brady Will Not Attend Patriots' White House Ceremony
Later today, the New England Patriots will celebrate their championship at the White House in a ceremony led by Donald Trump. A handful of players have already announced their intentions to skip the visit, some offering no public explanation, and other making it quite clear that it’s about politics....