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A Lip Reader Deciphers The Umpire-Manager Arguments Of 2012
Originally published in Baseball Prospectus....

J.R. Smith Reminds Kris Humphries That Kanye West Is Now Kim Kardashian's Sperm Donor, Just In Case He Forgot
The Nets beat the Knicks 88-85 tonight, but we're not here for that. We're here to talk about Poor Kris Humphries. The guy can't even talk shit after a win without getting the whole fake-marriage-to-a-reality-show-fame-whore deal thrown in his face....

"You're Here For One Reason: To Fuck Us Good!": Let's Remember The Time Earl Weaver Completely Lost It On An Umpire
Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver passed away last Friday, and that makes us very sad. What makes us very happy, however, is the video above, which features Weaver going absolutely crazy on a first base umpire who had just called a balk on the Orioles' pitcher....

Watch, Perhaps, The Worst Professional Ski Jump Attempt Ever
We've all been there: You're sledding, you slip, the sled gets out from under you and all of a sudden it's rocketing down the hill and you have to walk all the way down to go get it. Sucks. Unfortunately for Daiko Ito, he was strapped into skis, he is a professional ski jumper, this happened in fr...

A Very Important Message From Donald Trump
You forgot Jack Dickey, you dolt....

Thunder Fan Gets All Skeeved Out After Touching Kris Humphries
In case you didn't know, sweaty athletes are really sweaty, so we don't recommend reaching out to touch them as they walk by. Right around the 10-second mark of the video above, keep your eye on the woman in the blue shirt. Much like Kim Kardashian, she seems eager to get a piece of Kris Humphries...

New York City Nightclub DJs Will Not Stop Tormenting Kris Humphries
This story from the New York Daily News' gossip blog would make you feel bad for Kris Humphries if there wasn't something so undeniably hateable about him (it's mostly his face). Apparently, Humphries was trolled by two DJs at an NYC night club (the same one in which Tony Parker got his eye gouged ...

Serena Williams And Her Coach Had A Nice Boat Trip
Patrick Mouratoglou is Serena Williams's (French) coach. He's the shirtless man in this photo who isn't prune-shriveled. There are so many questions we have about the circumstances of this image, but we anticipate our questions remaining unanswered. So we will call your attention instead to the two ...

"My Pitcher Is Terrible, My Bullpen Can't Get Anybody Out": What Managers Really Yell About While Arguing With Umpires
For a sport with so many supposed "unwritten rules," baseball sure has a lot of written ones. But the official rulebook is much like the U.S. Constitution: remarkably broad, and designed to allow arbiters to interpret what's in there. One instance that allows for wide latitude is what constitutes an...

Watch A Referee Block Kris Humphries's Free-Throw Attempt
Well here's something you don't see every day. About midway through the fourth quarter of last night's Nets-Raptors game, Nets forward Kris Humphries stepped to the line to shoot two free-throws. Pretty standard stuff. That is until referee Courtney Kirkland comes flying in and tries to stop Humph...

The Redskins Were So Excited That Donald Trump Praised RGIII That They Slapped It On Their Facebook Page
So, everything about this is just powerfully loathsome: Trump's face, the fact that the Redskins are so historically starved for praise that they consider an endorsement from a vitamin-selling pyramid-schemer an important plug, and, oh, right, "You're hired." I think the Redskins just found the only...

The New Air Jordans Look Super Dumb
Today, Nike unveiled its latest iteration of the Air Jordans. Those are the Air Jordan XX8s you see in the photo, and holy hell do they look stupid. Are you supposed to wear them with that weird outer casing zipped up or zipped down? Can you pull the real shoe out of the jacket thing and not have t...

Mike Tyson Talks About The Time He Caught Brad Pitt Humping His Ex-Wife
Over the weekend, Mike Tyson sat down for an interview on In Depth with Graham Bensinger. Tyson talked about how he used to go visit his then-wife, Robin Givens, for some sex while the two were in the midst of getting a divorce. One day, though, when Tyson arrived at Givens's house, he found that s...

Kevin Garnett Calls Kris Humphries "Out Of Control"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Nets-Celtics fight, revisited....
![Rajon Rondo Didn't Take Too Kindly To Kris Humphries' Foul On Kevin Garnett [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/186rjnl2a5290png.png)
Rajon Rondo Didn't Take Too Kindly To Kris Humphries' Foul On Kevin Garnett [UPDATE]
Celtics guard Rajon Rondo wasn't just going to sit back after this Kris Humphries throwdown on Kevin Garnett, so (despite an eight-inch height differential) he sacrificed his 37-game streak of 10 or more assists to start an epic shoving match that looks to have been completely punchless. Humphries...

What Was Up With ABC's Soundtrack For The Michigan-Ohio State Game?
Ohio State completed its undefeated, ineligible season by defeating Michigan 26-21 in college football's best rivalry game today, but viewers seemed consumed as much by ABC/ESPN's choice in bump music as they were the action happening on the field. We're not sure what prompted the eclectic mix, but...

How To Carve A Pumpkin: A Guide For Terrible, Drunk Parents
It's Halloween, which means that it's time to dress your children up in cosplay costumes and send them out into a dark neighborhood, asking neighbors for things to put inside their mouths. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Anyway, before trick-or-treating, you have to buy a pumpkin and carve it. That t...

An Enormous Marlin Jumped On A Boat And Kenny Loggins Provided The Soundtrack
This could only be a more dangerous zone if the beast in question were a great white shark. So in that respect, the music is entirely appropriate. In all other respects, it is Kenny Loggins. But do watch the video, it is pretty crazy. Captured off Cairns, Australia, the video shows a giant marlin—...

Donald Trump Went On The Radio To Trash Alex Rodriguez
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Yankee meltdowns are the best meltdowns....

Because Everything Is Better With Legos And Stirring Music, Here Is The Space Jump With Both Of Those Things
Felix Baumgartner, who for a moment was at the top of the world—or was it the bottom? I failed science—has been immortalized in a way only a man who has just broken the sound barrier can be immortalized. Legos!...