Warmths, Ranked
When it’s winter and cold outside and, say, your office is an uninsulated block of freezing concrete, you and your…
A Christmas Story Subplots, Ranked
Christmas feels incomplete without at least four-to-six partial viewings of A Christmas Story, Bob Clark’s 1983 movie…
Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish…
Holidays, Ranked
Here is a list of (commercialized) U.S. holidays, ranked in order of how good they are:
Announcing Cliches In Soccer, Ranked
The World Cup didn’t quite feel the same without Ian Darke to call it, but at least there was another month of (mostly)…
GIFs, Ranked
Today is my last day at Deadspin after seven years of forcing you to watch dumb shit I saw on TV. To commemorate my…
Times Of Day For Fireworks, Ranked
Some folks outside my apartment were shooting off fireworks around noon today. Why would you waste them like that? I’m…
Various Trader Joe’s Foodstuffs, Ranked
(NOTE: Beer and wine not included.)
Sports Start Times, Ranked
Here are the best times for tipoffs, kickoffs, first pitches, and whatever they do in soccer:
95 Theses, Ranked
It is the 500th anniversary of the Reformation. Martin Luther’s 95 theses, ranked:
Planets, Ranked
Most of the planets are good, very good. But some are better than others. Here are the planets of our solar system,…