Tonight’s most compelling American soccer match was a little tricky to find, but it was well worth your investment. In the quarterfinals of the U.S. Open Cup—which pits teams at all levels of American soccer against each other in a single-elimination format—FC Cincinnati beat the Miami 1-0 off a Baye Djiby Fall goal…

Christos FC, an amateur Baltimore soccer team that never practices and is headquartered in a liquor store, is playing a fourth-round U.S. Open Cup match against D.C. United of MLS tonight. In the 23rd minute, Mamadou Kansaye scored on a free kick to give his club a 1-0 lead over the three-time Open Cup champs.

The following GIF of a section of Real Salt Lake fans hamming it up for the camera can only be fully appreciated the way you appreciate a Tati movie: after repeated viewings, with your eyes drinking in as much of the frame-suffusing action as possible:

“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?

Earlier this week, Clint Dempsey received a red card for tearing up a referee’s notebook in protest of what he thought was some poor officiating in a U.S. Open Cup match. Today, MLS doled out its punishment, suspending him from all competitions for three games.

The Portland Timbers met the Seattle Sounders last night in the U.S. Open Cup. The game ended 3-1, with Portland scoring the three goals and Seattle losing three men to red cards while finishing the match with just seven players on the pitch thanks to a late injury after they had already used all their subs. As you…