usa Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympic Athletes Are Even More Fascinating Than You Thought
As you might have heard, the Olympics begin on Friday, and, as Bob Costas and NBC will be eager to relentlessly pound into your brain, these are American Olympic Heroes we'll be watching on 12-hour time delays. These are not the run-of-the-mill money-grubbing professional athletes we have become ac...
If Team USA Fails to Win Gold Again, Will Whores Be to Blame?
Team USA, undefeated in meaningless games against international competition thus far this summer, is having a grand ol' time in Asia right now. But as much fun as it is to beat up on hairy foreigners, there's nothing quite like visiting some of the finer brothels the region has to offer. Just ask Le...
Sun-Times Guilty Of Blog Swiping?
The Chicago Sun-Times ran a front-page story today about the firing of Chicago State baseball coach Husain Mahmoud for some egregious resume fabricating, but was it their story? It appears the Sun Times' story ran a little late compared to the ones published on June 12th by Babes Love Baseball and C...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while bidding on a potato ... • Swimming: U.S. Olympic trials, at Omaha (8 p.m., ET). Katie Hoff > Aquaman. [USA] • MLB: Mets at Cardinals (8:15 p.m., ET). What fresh Hell for Mets' fans now? [SNY] [FSN] • MLB: Red Sox at Rays (7:10 p.m., ET). Joe Maddon controls space and time. [NESN]...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after attending just another typical wedding in Arkansas ... • College softball: Women's College World Series, at Oklahoma City: Game 3, Arizona State vs. Alabama (7 p.m., ET). Pithy comment about women's softball would go here. [ESPN] • NBA: Western Conference finals, Game 5, San Anto...
When Shopping For Fancy Soaps And Duvet Covers, Will Allen Takes No Chances
A confounding incident involving the Miami Dolphins' Will Allen at a Miami Bed, Bath and Beyond parking lot has the veteran cornerback being questioned by local police. There are conflicting stories and it's not entirely clear what the beef was about, but there is some speculation:...
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering what set off everyone's obsession with anal fisting... • MLB: The Rays beat the Cardinals, but don't worry about Will, he's drunk. • NBA: In the night's one playoff game that didn't totally suck, the Lakers knocked the Jazz out of the playoffs. So yes, it is possible ...
Your UCLA-Memphis Live Blog
Finally, the Rumpelstiltskin of the tournament can weave chalk into gold, unless Kevin Love rains full-court chest pass threes all game. John Caliperi and Ben Howland would like to reserve their respective Final Four fortunes of years past. But remember: Larry Brown looms above all. And that's fine...
Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again....
Your Puppy Bowl Recap
The writers strike may have crippled other shows, but the Puppy Bowl remains strong; ratings for Puppy Bowl IV on Sunday were up 35 percent from last year. Just like Super Bowl XLII, some are calling this the best Puppy Bowl ever, although the Bissell Kitty halftime show had too much nipple in my op...
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
Uncovering The 19th Century Version Of 'You Dead, Dawg'
Well, this just makes me miss Deadwood all the more: It seems that raunchy language was such a problem in professional baseball in the late 1800s, that the league actually handed out a document telling players to knock it off. It lists several examples of banned expressions, which are absolutely fil...
You Should See The Portion Of The Costume That Fell Off During Mile 3
If you like marathons, and AJ Daulerio, then feast on this! It's from the Chicago Marathon, via 100 Percent Injury Rate, who got it from some site called Avant/Chicago. The funny part is that when you go there, it's all normal, bland photos of people running, until you trip over this one....
Miss Teen South Carolina Has Discovered The Map To Our Hearts
She captivated the nation with her controversial stances on maps, and "the Iraq, everywhere such as." Yesterday we showed you the video of her performance at the Miss Teen USA Pageant, and like the rest of "U.S. Americans," you instantly fell in love. Now, here's more of Miss Teen South Carolina Lau...
Ankiel Gets The Call
He is the The Natural, he is Young Musial, he is the alpha, the omega, the beginning, the end. And, as of today, he is a member of the St. Louis Cardinals. Sources tell us that an announcement that Rick Ankiel has been called up to the big leagues is scheduled for later this afternoon/weekend....
Evander Holyfield, Still Swinging Away
Holyfield's opponent last night, 41-year-old Lou Savarese, is described here as "durable." Normally a fine adjective, but when applied to a boxer, "durable" sort of means "gets punched in the head a lot." And that's what Evander Holyfield, 3 years older than Savarese, did to him last night....
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...