usc Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....

10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....

Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...

Sexy White Sox Bathroom Sex Horror Story Brought To Life Through Magic Of CGI
The story of Dr. Paul Nemeth inadvertently bringing his 6 year-old son to a live sex show at a White Sox game was the stuff of speculation. It left many questions unanswered, like "Did anyone throw their pants Mean Joe Green style?"...

Here's Your Annual Wet USC Song Girls
An excellent palate-cleanser during the most jam-packed sports weekend in a while. The Song Girls hit the pool for a good cause (a charity, not your shameful urges). [BeatSC.com]...

I Was There: When Georgia Tech Beat USC With .8 Seconds
Andy E. Lin was three rows behind the bench the day James Forrest launched the improbable heave that sent USC home....

Tim Tebow At The Combine: A Revelation, Set To Iron Maiden
As you know, Tebow impressed at the NFL Scouting Combine, running the three-cone drill in a hell-blazing 6.66 seconds. (It's the second coming! Of Mike Alstott!) Here's video of Tebow's big day, set to Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast."...

Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch: Antichrist Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Beast....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Money Changers Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

So Who's The ESPN Employee Calling Stu Scott An A-Hole On Reddit?
Either a well-versed prankster has invaded Reddit's popular IAMA anonymous q-and-a, or, once again, Bristol has a reckless scuttlebutt willing to (anonymously) unload about Scott, Chris Berman, Michelle Beadle, Michael Wilbon and more....

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...

How Lane Kiffin Resurrected, Then Destroyed Tennessee's Recruiting Program
Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron quickly turned Tennessee recruiting in a national superstar, but their noisy exit could not have come at a worse time and will leave the Volunteers worse off than when they took over....

Layla Kiffin Will Become New Head Coach's Wife At USC
Unreal. After all his distracting, rule-bending bravado in one year at Tennessee, Lane Kiffin has, according to multiple outlets, signed on to replace Pete Carroll at USC. In addition to his wife, Kiffin's also bringing dad to Southern Cal....

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...

Seahawks About To Land Pete Carroll?
"Pete Carroll is the guy Seahawks are targeting. It is expected to happen," according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [@mortreport, LAT]...