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"This Is An Utter Embarrassment"
“WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHAT ARE WE DOING!???”...
U.S.A. Out Of World Cup On Phantom Goal<em></em>
A nightmare World Cup cycle for the USMNT came to an end tonight, as a 2-1 U.S. loss to Trinidad and Tobago, coupled with wins by Panama and Honduras, eliminated the Americans from the competition....
Trinidad And Tobago's Golazo Adds To American Frustration
All the USMNT needed tonight was some sort of result in order to get peace of mind and guarantee World Cup qualification, but an own goal from Omar Gonzalez, and then, a stunning long-distance golazo from Trinidad & Tobago’s Alvin Jones has put the Americans down 2-0 at half....
The USMNT's World Cup Qualifier Might Be A Little Underwater
The U.S. Men’s National Team can all but clinch a place in the 2018 World Cup with any sort of result at Trinidad and Tobago on Tuesday evening. Except: It’s now looking kind of questionable whether the match will be able to be played. The pitch at Ato Boldon Stadium in Couva is sodden and in places...
Christian Pulisic And The USMNT Are Destroying Panama
The USMNT needed to whoop on Panama tonight, and they got off to a thrilling start, unzipping the Panamanian defense twice in the first 20 minutes and adding a penalty right before halftime. The entire first half was a thrilling affair despite the soggy Orlando pitch, and there could have been at le...
The USMNT Can't Afford To Lose
The United States Men’s National Team has two games left in CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying, two games against teams that, by all accounts, the USMNT should not have any problems dispatching. Trinidad & Tobago have gotten owned more or less nonstop throughout the Hex, and Panama were lousy enough to l...
Michael Bradley And Christian Pulisic Are Unimpressed With Alexi Lalas's Shit Talk
Alexi Lalas barred up the entire USMNT on TV this past weekend, which was great and deserved and frankly overdue. Lalas’s brief rant included clear shots at a number of national teamers, but his barbs aimed at Michael Bradley and Christian Pulisic were arguably the most pointed. Bradley and Pulisic ...
Alexi Lalas Berates The Entire USMNT
Most domestic TV coverage of the USMNT is frustratingly friendly to the national team, and it’s rare to hear much cutting criticism, even when the team is playing like shit (which it is right now). Sunday night, however, one of the team’s biggest TV cheerleaders turned all his energy back on the squ...
The USMNT Doesn't Deserve To Qualify For The World Cup
For the majority of casual fans, international soccer is a game of tournaments. Outside of high-profile friendlies or marquee qualifying matches, this sort of ephemeral casual fandom more or less hibernates between the big tournaments, the beginnings of which reawaken rabid patriotism and communal p...
USMNT Lose 1-1
The USMNT avoided disaster in the most depressing way possible today against Honduras, riding a late short-range tap-in from Bobby Wood off a screaming Kellyn Acosta free kick to draw Honduras, 1-1. The score flatters the U.S., who gave their second consecutive pitiful performance and are lucky to r...
USMNT Beats Terrible Team To Win Meaningless Trophy
The Gold Cup is a shitty tournament. It’s the championship of CONCACAF, a garbage confederation with two consistently pretty good teams mixed in with a bunch of flotsam of varying quality. It’s normally contested by the participating countries’ B or C teams, since no one cares all that much about wi...
Jordan Morris Is Your Unlikely Gold Cup Hero
“Idk why Jordan Morris is out there,” I typed to the Deadspin staff exactly two minutes before his game-winning goal. Morris was barely scoring in MLS with the Seattle Sounders this year, and even his two goals in this tournament came against the far inferior Martinique. He looked lost and mistake-p...
A Beautiful Jozy Altidore Free Kick Gave The USMNT A Short-Lived Lead
Jozy Altidore was in a bit of a slump, having not scored for the USMNT since September of 2016. But suddenly, he’s on fire, with two goals in fewer than 90 minutes across the past two games....
Clint Dempsey Is The Most Reliable Man In America
His face has never changed....
USMNT Win 2-0 Despite El Salvador's Biting And Nipple-Tweaking
The USMNT cruised to a 2-0 victory in tonight’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal despite the fact that El Salvador repeatedly treated players like you might have treated your little brother....
USMNT Takes Healthy Halftime Lead Thanks To Two Unlikely Heroes<em></em>
The USMNT leapt out to a 2-0 first-half lead over El Salvador thanks to goals from two unlikely players. Despite Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey lining up together as a striking partnership, the scoring came from defenders Omar Gonzalez and Eric Lichaj....
The USMNT's C Team Barely Got By Martinique
The USMNT’s Gold Cup match Wednesday night looked easy on paper, even with mostly fringe players getting starts. But the team’s group stage battle against Martinique quickly went from boring to absolutely ridiculous, and the US was relieved to escape with a 3-2 win....
The U.S. Looks Like A Lock To Qualify For The 2018 World Cup
The United States Men’s National Soccer Team started out the last round of World Cup qualifiers in the most embarrassing way possible, losing to Mexico at home then getting ripped apart down in Costa Rica. The results were bad, although CONCACAF qualification is generous to say the least, though wha...
Kellyn Acosta, The USMNT's Tenacious Young Midfielder, Is Ready For This
Who will stand beside Michael Bradley in Russia?...