usta Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Plane Owner Claims FAA Shake Down Over Masters "Bootyism" Banner
The owner of the aerial sign company that flew anti-Tiger Woods banners over The Masters says the FAA silenced him with a "bogus" safety inspection. If planes existed when the First Amendment was written, this would totally be in there....
The Masters Invaded By Airborne Pranksters Asking Tiger Woods About "Bootyism"
Augusta National's authoritarian fussbudgets do not yet hold dominion over the skies, as proved by whoever hired this plane to circle above The Masters today. Also, it's $1 wing night at Déjà Vu. [Video via ESPN, surprisingly.]...
Masters Security Keeps Gallery Free Of Tiger's Unsavory Skanks
"Security guards at Augusta National were actually carrying around a sheet with the mug shots of Woods' alleged mistresses, with one of the guards asking a woman at the fifth hole, "Are you the stripper?" That's nice work, boys. [Star-Ledger]...
Augusta's Chauvinism Enabled Tiger, Says Masters Rabble Rouser
Tiger Woods's return at the Masters is fitting, because it's the mentality at that all-male club that drove him to cheat on his wife with an endless parade of floozies. That's Martha Burk's take on it, anyway....
Crips And Bloods Shooting Baskets, Not Each Other (Temporarily) (UPDATE)
Kilpatrick, a juvenile detention center in Malibu, is making a run at a sectional hoops title, thanks to a theatrically plucky coach and an uneasy Bloods-Crips alliance. Where have I heard that one before?...
Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...
Rose Bowl Open Thread: Oregon. The Ohio State University. Hit It.
It's the Oregon Tusows getting scrappy with The Ohio State University Mike Cooper Mustaches. What say you, Todd McShay?...
Last Night's Winner: SMU Mustangs
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like the SMU Mustangs, which exerted as much effort in scoring this prestige as they did in routing Nevada. They had no competition in either regard....
Jonas Gustavsson, IR-Upper Body (Heart Surgery)
Toronto's Monster will have his second procedure in three months to fix an irregular heartbeat. Wouldn't be the first time Leafs fans questions their players' hearts. [Toronto Star]...
Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award
In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"...
The Sports Fella Reveals His Plans For The Next Great American Novel
So far, with the hundreds upon hundreds of interviews, self-promotional dog-and-pony crap the Sports Fella's been through pimping The Book Of Basketball, his interview (s) with Leitch have all been refreshingly honest. And full of cursing....
Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...
I'm Sure He Has The Same Heidi Watney Airbrush On The Side Of His Van
Well, maybe it's her uncle. A very proud, very creepy uncle. There's a chance of that, right? [Busted Coverage]...
Colt McCoy Sheds His Third Eyebrow
The grizzly folks at the AMI are none too tickled about the Texas quarterback's fumble, comparing it to a Greek tragedy. Imagine if Tim Tebow, in his corn-fed handsomeness, shaved a mustache. I have. It's called the apocalypse. [AMI]...
At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....
Prop 8 Never Saw This Coming: Woman Marries A Carnival Ride
This woman loves this amusement park ride. No, she really loves it. Enough to let "him" put a ring on it. Let's go down the rabbit hole with this most tenuous of sports angles....
Finding Mustachioed Men In St. Louis Will Win You All-Star Game Tickets
The All-Star Game is rife with "bare-faced mortals," so the American Mustache Institute — bless their whiskers — is sponsoring a so-called Stache Dash. Find playing cards of mustachioed legends, win bleacher seats. No facial hair necessary. [AMI]...
This Guy Has Nothing On Clay Zavada
The world's most moustachioed flocked to Anchorage this weekend for the World Beard and Moustache Championship. Unfortunately, the winners forever will have asterisks next to their busts in Alaska, as Clay Zavada was in Oakland, whisker-twinged NHL players are busy and Sarah Palin couldn't make it. ...
A NYC Subway Jacker Was Nabbed (Update)
Could 41-year-old Daniel Corrian be the man who rubbed against that poor girl on the D train? Either that, or there is a subway masturbation epidemic gripping the city. (Update: Not him!) [NYDN]...
