v Page 3030 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Leftovers: Finding The Right Retirement Home
• Rice to 49ers, for one day, maybe, if someone breaks an ankle. [SI.com] • We are the world: McNair, Shaq, Yankees team up for hurricane relief. [The Ledger] • Los Angeles to bid for 2016 Olympic Games, because expending energy to get an NFL franchise would be silly. [Los Angeles Times]...

Advantage: Navratilova
Legitimate belly laughs from our pals at Onion-esque satirical site SportsPickle this morning: Martina Navratilova Toting Around a Battery-Powered Maria Sharapova Bobblehead Doll. Best part:...

Alberts Crosses Almighty ESPN, Pays Price
Hell hath no fury like a college football analyst scorned, apparently. ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was canned yesterday after refusing to come into work on Sunday, which, on Labor Day Weekend, is kind of a key day for college football analysts to work. Apparently Alberts was frustra...

About Last Night ...
Well, once again you've thrown a boot at the TV and pointed the remote at the cat ... • MLB: Pedro, Mets lose again, consider reality series. • MLB: Ortiz, you stud! Red Sox shock Angels. • Talk about steroids, ever take a close look at Kim Clijsters? Er, we mean, Venus ousted in U.S. Open semis....

A Full Report on Marvin Jones' Weekend of Sex
Some pure gold from NFL Wives Club Yahoo Group today: A discussion of former Jets linebacker Marvin Jones, pictured above with his family. Apparently, someone had a weekend fling with the very married Jones and wrote into the group asking for info. The poster "Gata Negro," after reading a bio abou...

Week In Deadspin: Anybody Watching Sports This Week?
• Matt Leinart is hitting the books hard this year. • The NFL Network hates stoners, but doesn't mind wife-beaters. • Hey, speaking of wife beaters! • Oliver Stone and Jose Canseco, together at last. • Stat nerds are apparently chopping their penises off. • The trophy wife as cheerleader. • As a pat...

Leftovers: Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?
• Ah, that pesky morals clause: Orioles release Ponson. [Camden Chat] • Beef: it's what's for dinner. Colts sign DT Simon. [Indianapolis Star] • Kevin Brown, we hardly knew ye. • Finley lands in San Antonio — David Stern decides to save time and award Spurs the NBA Championship trophy now....

The Sagging Cheerleader
So here's something you don't see every day: A 38-year-old cheerleader. Ravens pompom poofer Molly Shattuck is a mother of three, and she's living her lifelong dream of being a cheerleader on a squad in which the average age is 15 years younger than her. Inspirational story, right? Yes?...

Today In MLB Blogs
Take a look at the above photo, actually existing on MLB Blogs at this moment. A couple of possibilities here:...

The Oldest Batboy in Captivity
Tonight that Marlins batboy kid who was suspended for six games for throwing up milk will be on the "Late Show With David Letterman," his first public appearance and interview. As more news comes out about Nick Cirillo, this story becomes a little stranger. The biggest thing? This "kid" is not a k...

The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...

Terrell Owens Update: Still Keeping It Real
We haven't checked in on Terrell Owens for a while; how's it goin', Terrell? Well, looks like he and Donovan McNabb still aren't talking, which isn't a big deal, since we can't imagine their level of discourse is all that high anyway. ("Donovan, I'm concerned about the lack of geopolitical debate ...

Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...

Wells Digs His Own Hole
It's always amusing when Boston elderly punk David Wells pops off, but we have a suspicion that when he verbally attacked commissioner Bud Selig after his six-game suspension for bumping an umpire was upheld, he might have got himself in some real trouble this time....

Leftovers: Much Ado About Cycling
• Call the CSI guys: Cycling Tour to probe Armstrong doping reports. [SF Gate] • Ronaldo denies link to drug ring, says all those baggies are for very tiny sandwiches. [Reuters] • T.O. misses charity event, but no one seems too worked up about it. [MSNBC]...

NFL Network Rids Itself Of Stoners, Past, Present and Future
Former Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith was always one of our favorite players when he was in the league. He was unusually intelligent — particularly for someone who went to Ohio State — retired at the top of his game and was renowned for his charitable foundations, most notably The Rob...

The Metrodome Gestapo
People have always hated The Minneapolis Metrodome, and now they have a new reason: It's a Nazi building. So says somebody/something called "Tim's TV," which claims at his/its site, "The Swastika Dome," that the Metrodome has a swastika designed in its roof. Just because we've just discovered thi...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Having Nightmares About That "Ranch Tooth" In The Wendy's Commercial ... · Yankees Secure Three-Way Wildcard Tie With Cleveland And Oakland. Somewhere, Woody Allen, Drew Carey and Hammer are in a furious battle. · Cardinals Knock Magic Number Down To 26. Tony LaRussa celebrates...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...

Stomach Stapling Browns Fans. There Is No God
OK, we know SI's Peter King is losing weight like mad and everything, so it's obviously on its mind. He still has a pretty amazing scoop in MMQB today:...