v Page 3029 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Arizona State Does Its Part To Embarrass The Bowl System
Thursday was your day, Sun Devils. First, your researchers define biological life as we know it. Then, more importantly, your bizarre win over Arizona (2 blocked PATs!) allows you to officially petition the NCAA to admit the bowl system is a farce....

Lady At Cavs Game Confused By LeHomophone
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Red Moon Rising On The Cuyahoga River" Heat-Cavs Open Thread
The third-place team in the NBA's Southeast Division is playing the third-place team in the Central. There are apparently some interesting storylines here. Discuss....
![[Update: Case Was Dismissed] Hulking MMA Fighter Terrorized By Petite TV Reporter](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xnfqwmkwrtxhqbma34iw.jpg)
[Update: Case Was Dismissed] Hulking MMA Fighter Terrorized By Petite TV Reporter
[Update: Domestic-dispute charges were dismissed, according to the Albuquerque Journal.]...

Heat Strokes, Game 19: The LeBrorschach
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Dear Cleveland: Have Your Fun Tonight, And Then Get Over Yourselves
LeBron returns to town tonight for the first time since signing with another team. We hope it's some closure for the fine folks of Cleveland, rather than just an opportunity to throw themselves yet another pity party....

How Pat Summitt Ruined The Best Thing About Women's Basketball
For girls of the late 1990s and early 2000s, UConn-Tennessee was very often the only game that mattered — the ponytail Super Bowl. Then Pat Summitt screwed it all up. Emma Carmichael explains....

Number of Productive Things You’ve Done Today: Zero
A long lunch, tweeting about fantasy football, copious consumption of Deadspin: You've officially done zero today. Stop being a complete waste of space and drink a vitaminwater zero™, with enough vitamins and taste to make you feel like you're doing something....

Vincent Jackson Is A Piece Of Shit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Oh Wait, Maybe This Is Why England Didn't Get The World Cup
Birmingham City and Aston Villa fans put on an old-fashioned pitch invasion after last night's Carling Cup match, complete with flares and fighting....

Miami Heat Plane Has Mechanical Problem Landing In Cleveland
The Heat charter flight experienced plane trouble on its approach to Cleveland early this morning. Sure, if surface-to-air missiles are "plane trouble." [AP]...

LeBronageddon Is Upon Us
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Devils' Advocate: White Men Can Jump
Every week, this recent Duke graduate will offer you a new reason not to hate the Duke Blue Devils, the bestest basketball team in the land. You are free to disagree....

Punch-Out With Your Cock Out
A German (of course) AIDS awareness organization has released COCK OUT, in which players slip on a motion-sensing digital condom and use their thrusts to pummel a virtual HIV....

Dan Gilbert Is Going To Boil Someone's Bunny
Per Adrian Wojnarowski, recording secretary of the LeBron Jersey-Burning and Chowder Society: The Cavs "have poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into a high-powered Midwestern law firm" to investigate whether the Heat broke tampering rules while pursuing LeBron James. [Yahoo!]...

Brian Westbrook Has Already Had A More Successful 2010 Than Donovan McNabb
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: your new 49ers starting RB....

The Official Cavs Fan Guide To Taunting LeBron
Yeah, we know, these things rarely work. But we wouldn't endorse these suggested Cavs fans chants for tomorrow's game if they weren't clever and/or funny. Show some heart, Cleveland. [Cavs Chants]...

Victorious MMA Fighter Repeatedly Pukes His Guts Out
Come for the initial spew. Stay for the second round that nearly soaks the poor bastard cleaning up the first puddle. [POSSIBLY NSFW: THIS VIDEO IS GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE]...

Oakland Willing To Discard Moneyball For "Slugging First Basemen" Philosophy
Oakland really really wants Lance Berkman. But they'd settle for Adam Dunn. For god's sake, please protect your eyebrows; this is HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 1 Brett Favre Vs. No. 4 Jay Mariotti
We've reached the SHOTY Semifinals. Brett Favre left Ines Sainz in arrears, and Jay Mariotti oozed Jason Whitlock's pumpkin. Now, for the nitty-gritty....